My heart breaks at his words, at the childhood insecurities appearing when he talks about being a father. His parents abandoned him, and he didn’t have a good life growing up. He never even talks about it, besides saying he was moved from house to house, and no one adopted him. He must genuinely think he wouldn’t be a good father, maybe until he heard Arrow say Faye’s words. He needed to hear reassurance, and I hadn’t given him any of that. Instead, I just left, assuming the worst, which probably made him feel as if he was right—he wasn’t father material.
“I think you’d be an amazing father, Vinnie,” I tell him, squeezing his hand. “Faye is right: Clover adores you, and I’ve seen the two of you together. I just don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped, like one day you wake up and think that this isn’t the life you wanted. I think you need to make sure that this is what you want, that you’re willing to be more open-minded about the future. I’m happy with only having one child, I’m not asking for any more, what I’m asking for is for you to be willing to give this child everything, your love and your attention, and not once look at him or her and think that the baby isn’t what you wanted.”
“I’d never make my child, or any child for that matter, feel not wanted,” he says, looking me in the eye. “I fucked up, I admit it. I freaked out, okay? I was in shock, and I needed to think real fuckin’ deeply about a few things. But please don’t hold it against me, Shay. I’m going to try to be the best man for you and the best father to our child.” He puts his hand on my stomach. “I know nothing about babies, I don’t know how to change one, or feed one, or anything else, but I’ll learn. I know nothing about children of any age. My only experience has been with Clover, Cara, and Rhett, and they’re all about the same age, so it’s almost like you’re getting two children here, because you’re going to have to teach me what to do too.”
His words give me hope, although there’s still concern lingering in the back of my mind. I want to give him a chance though, everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. I know Vinnie is a good man, and I really hope we can be a family, and that he can be happy. I want him to be happy, not just for him to do what he thinks is right—and then hate it.
I wrap my arms around him, sitting on his lap. I take his face in my hands and look into his eyes. “What if you change your mind?”
“I won’t,” he murmurs, turning his face to kiss my fingers. “I’d never do that to you.”
I lean forward and kiss his mouth. “Do you need more time to think about it?”
“No,” he replies instantly. “I’ve taken more than enough time to think about it when I should have been rushing over here straightaway, taking what’s mine. Can we go home now? Colt misses you.”
“Just Colt, huh?” I tease, burying my face in his neck. “Are you sure it’s only him who misses me?”
“I’m sure the others miss you too. I know Faye does; she’s been your number one champion.”
“Well, remind me to thank her, then.”
“Shay?”
“Yes.
“I need you to promise me that you won’t run again, okay? You have a problem, we deal with it. You need space, you go to Faye’s, or somewhere where I know you’re safe. You don’t just leave and turn to another man, even if it’s Talon.”
I swallow hard. “I promise.”
No more running.
“Shay?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s go home.”
FORTY-FOUR
Vinnie
I RIDE home on the bike, then return with the car, not wanting her to ride now that she’s pregnant. I even bring Colt in the car with me, and the smile that appears on her perfect lips is worth the barking I had to listen to the whole way here. Shay hugs Talon good-bye, and I give him a chin lift, a silent thank-you. He nods in return, his eyes telling me that he’ll always be here to save her, he doesn’t care who it’s from or who he has to cross to do so. I respect that. Talon isn’t so bad after all. I’d never admit it, but I get a little jealous as Shay kisses Colt on top of his head, telling him over and over how much she missed him.
“Can you stop kissing the dog, please?” I grumble. “How am I supposed to kiss you after that?”
“It’s not like I’m kissing his mouth,” she says, amusement dancing in her eyes.