He gave me another reassuring squeeze. “It’s over.”
It was then I realized what I was doing. And it was a second after that that I wondered if Myrna would snuggle close to her vampire after pissing him off royally.
“Lucien?”
“Yes, my pet?”
“Earlier,” I started, he tensed and even though I didn’t want another wineglass incident, especially when the thing he was holding now and very able to throw and shatter against a wall was me, I forged ahead, “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
He didn’t reply so I got up on an elbow and looked down on his shadowed face.
“I’m sorry I made you mad.”
He rolled to his back and pulled me on top of him, a hand in my hair pressing my face into his neck.
He still didn’t reply. He simply started to play with my hair.
I decided it was time to get things straight.
Unfortunately, my mother wasn’t answering her phone which meant she was probably out at a movie. Mom liked movies, any kind of movies, mostly weepies and rom coms, but she wasn’t adverse to an action film, the bloodier the better.
Aunt Nadia, who was always my favorite auntie and the one I could talk to about anything, wasn’t answering either which meant she was probably out with Mom.
I didn’t want to call any of my other aunties or cousins because I didn’t want them to know I was such a moron or more of a moron than they already thought I was.
I called Lana who answered. But she said Rafe was going to be there any minute. She was in a tizzy of excitement. I could hear it and now I understood it, but she promised she’d call me back first thing in the morning.
So I was still as in the dark as ever about everything that was happening.
Therefore, it was up to me to get things straight.
“I thought I was giving you what you wanted,” I told Lucien and his hand in my hair stilled for a few moments before his fingers started twirling a lock again.
Then he said something that threw me way off guard, “I want you.”
Me? He wanted me?
No one wanted me.
I was, as I just noted, a moron, amongst other not so good things.
This made my stomach feel warm at the same time it made my heart lurch and fear crawl up my spine.
This was just great. Instead of two contradictory emotions now I was having three.
“You have me,” I lied before pointing out the obvious, “I’m right here.”
I felt his head move, his lips touched my temple before he settled onto the pillows again.
“I had you, sweetling,” he murmured, using a different endearment, this one old-fashioned and way, way, way too effective. So effective it wiped out the heart lurch and the crawling fear and significantly intensified the warmth in my belly. “Every day and every night, I’ve had you. Until today and tonight. Now, you’re gone.” His hand clenched in my hair gently and he asked softly, “Why have you gone, Leah?”
Something stuck in my throat. I knew what it was but I swallowed it away and pretended it wasn’t there in the first place.
I knew I was lying to myself now but I figured lying to myself was definitely the best way to go.
“I’m here,” I whispered, “right here, where you want me to be.”
His hand went out of my hair and he moved me. He slid me off his body and shifted me so my back was pressed to his front, his arm tight around my waist, elbow cocked, hand pressed flat between my breasts.
“Remember that,” he said into the back of my hair when he’d repositioned me.
“What?” I asked.
“That here is where I want you to be. For twenty years, I’ve wanted you here.” His arm tensed and pressed me deeper into his body as I felt his face press deeper into my hair. “You don’t wait twenty years for a whore, Leah. You don’t take her shopping for books. You don’t move your clothes in her closet. You don’t take her amongst your people. And you certainly don’t put up with her when she’s misbehaving.”
I decided to focus on the last thing he said because it pissed me off. The other stuff made a lot of sense. It also made my belly feel warm again and I really didn’t need that.
But Myrna wouldn’t get pissed off. Never.
I tamped down the anger and decided to go with resigned.
“So, where does this leave us?”
“Where we’ve always been,” he replied, his voice somehow lighter like he’d not only had some weight lifted but also like he was amused. “But instead of you coming out fighting, you’ve retreated and put up our defenses.”
Oh no.
He had me totally figured out!
He pressed closer and stated firmly, “But I’ll get through.”
Oh no he would not. Not if I had anything to do with it (which I did).