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Until Series(60)



“I’m sorry.” I sniffle, wiping my face on his shirt.

“Did you just wipe your snot on me?”

I start giggling. “No, just tears. I promise.”

“Uh huh,” he mumbles and kisses the top of my head. I pull my face away from his chest and look into his beautiful eyes. I’m so lucky. “So, now that you have your stuff here, baby, you know that means you’re officially moved in, right?”

I’m in complete shock. He totally tricked me into moving in. Actually, come to think of it, he tricked my dad. He got his way without having to fight with me about it. I love staying here, but I like having a backup plan.

“Oh my God. You bossed me and got your way, and I didn’t even notice you were doing it.”

“I didn’t boss you, baby. I told you that you would want to live with me.” He is right, as mad as it makes me. I want to be here as badly as he wants me to be.

“You don’t think this is too soon?” I mumble, shaking my head.

“Fuck, no.”

Okay. He is sure about this. Me, on the other hand, I am not so sure. “I don’t want this to go bad because we’re so new. I feel like this is moving so fast. I’m worried that it’s just because it’s new to you and you don’t really know what you’re asking. Like you’re going to lose interest sooner or later and I’ll be heartbroken, and stuck moving out of a house that I love when I knew it was too soon to move into it in the first place.”

His hands move to my neck, his thumbs are under my jaw, tilting my head back so he has full eye contact. “You’re pissing me off.” Eeek! He looks pissed. Crap. “I’m a grown man. I know what I want out of life. I know who I want in my life. You’re not in my head, you don’t know how I feel, so stop trying to make choices for me,” he says, shaking my head gently. “I’m trying to slow down for you. For me, going fast would be you wearing a ring instead of a necklace. Trust me, I’m taking it slow, as slow as I can.”

For some reason, I know he is telling the truth. What he doesn’t know is that if he’d asked me to marry him, I would have said yes, no questions asked. From the moment I saw him, I wanted him. Granted, I thought he was a big jerk after he spoke, but I still wanted him. When my apartment was broken into and he was there with me, taking care of me, and making sure I was safe, I knew then he was really a good man. And the way he talks to me and looks at me, well, that seals the deal.

“I love you. You’re it for me. I knew from the moment I met you that I was done for. I like having you here and I don’t see that changing, unless you don’t feel the same as I do. Then you need to tell me that so I can convince you that you do,” he says, smirking at me. I wonder if he felt the same about his ex. Did he love her?

“Did you love your ex-wife?” I blurt out, feeling his body stiffen under me. “Never mind, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.” I try to escape off his lap.

His eyes narrow and he takes a deep breath. “You can always ask me anything,” he says, pulling me deeper into him and pressing my head into his warm chest. “I never loved her. I thought I was doing the right thing. We had been sleeping together for about a year and I knew that I didn’t want anything serious with her. She always hinted at more, but I knew she wasn’t the one. I did care about her, but I wasn’t in love with her.

“I had been gone for a month and when I got back, she was waiting for me outside my apartment. She told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I knew I had to do the right thing. I never wanted my kid to grow up in a house where I didn’t have access to him or her twenty-four seven, so I did what I thought was right at the time. I told her that it would work out and we would get married. That way, she would have insurance for all the medical bills, and I would have full access to my child. I thought maybe I would grow to love her. She claimed to be around three months along.

“When I was leaving to go out with my squad, I was gone for two weeks, give or take. We had been married for a month and she moved in right away. When I came back from an assignment, a friend of mine stopped me before I could go home. He told me that she had slept with him and that he was sorry. I went home and confronted her about what she had done. She didn’t deny it. She said she was trying to get me jealous to make me realize that I loved her. It didn’t work. I kicked her out and told her that my lawyer would be in touch.

“A couple days later, she came by and told me that she had lost the baby. I asked for proof and she never showed me any. To this day, she tries to contact me every once in a while. I don’t take her calls, but she has been known to show up out of the blue. Kenton knows about her because after she claimed to have lost the baby, he did some digging for me. He found out that she never went to the doctor for any kind of treatment during the time she claimed to be pregnant. I guess she thought I would knock her up after we got married and I would never be the wiser. She didn’t count on me staying wrapped up even after she claimed to be pregnant and I had a ring on her finger. But, something in the back of my head didn’t feel right. I never fucked her without protection and I’m thankful to this day that I listened to my gut.”