Until Series(41)

Asher was standing on the porch with his arms crossed and feet planted apart. His dimple was out. I hopped up in the truck and shut the door. I heard Asher call Beast over to him. I waved as we backed out of the driveway. Asher didn’t wave but I did get a chin lift so that’s pretty much the same thing.

“I never thought I would have a front row seat to my eldest son falling in love,” Susan said. I looked over at her, dumbfounded.

“What? I don’t think so,” I said, looking out the window and trying to fight my smile.

“Oh, yes, honey. I know so. You know, James grew up in this town. I moved here after college to work in the hospital. When I got to town, I was warned by dozens of women about him. They all said he was so good looking that he had a different woman in his bed every night. Well, I made it my mission to stay away from him. Why would I want a man who obviously wasn’t faithful and never wanted to settle down? Then one night, I got a flat tire on my way home. A very handsome man pulled up and helped me get the spare on my car. I had no idea who he was until after he finished and introduced himself. When he said his name, I got out of there as fast as possible.

“The next day, I ran into him in town and he asked me out. I said no and he walked away, so I thought that was it. But then everyday he would be somewhere that I was. He would ask me out and I would say no. This went on for about two months. Then one day, I finally said yes but made him promise to never ask me out again. He agreed so we went out on one date. Next thing I knew, I was staying at his house, he put a ring on my finger, and I was planning a wedding. All of that happened in just a few months. And if you talk to his mom, she will tell you a similar story about her and James Sr. I think the Mayson men don’t bother getting serious until they see someone that they can’t live without.”

“Um, Asher was already married,” I reminded her. I liked Asher a lot but I was not going to get my hopes built on false dreams.

“He was for about three months. I never met the girl and didn’t even know she existed until a couple weeks after they were married when she answered the phone at Asher’s apartment. I’m not a man but I would think that if I found a woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I would want my family to know about her.”

“Can we talk about something else?” I asked, trying not to sound rude but wanting to change the topic. The thought of Asher in love with someone enough to marry her made my stomach turn.

“Sure, beautiful,” she said, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Thanks,” I whispered, squeezing her hand back.

We stopped for coffee on our way out of town then headed to Nashville for a day of shopping and manicures.



Asher

Watching November pull away with my ma, I get that feeling in my chest, the same one I get every time November smiles at me. It’s like taking a shot of whiskey. After the burn, you’re left with the warmth. I wait till I can’t see the truck anymore and drag my hands down my face. Beast barks, getting my attention.

“Come on. We got shit to do,” I tell him, walking into the house. Fuck me if I’m not starting to sound like her. She’s always carrying on one-sided conversations with the dog like she expects him to talk back.

I walk into the bedroom and see that she made the bed while she was in here getting ready. She left the bathroom light on so I go to turn it off. There is girly shit all over the counter. I wait to see if I feel panic and none comes. Not that I actually expected it to. Shit, when she told me that she couldn’t do casual, I had to laugh.

If I could put a ring on her finger right now, I would, but I don’t think she would consider that to be slow. Grabbing my boots and socks, I head out to the living room and call Mike.

After what November told me about her childhood, I am done. I don’t care what I have to do, she is mine and I will never let her feel second best again.

Remembering the tone in her voice when she opened up about her childhood—the neglect and the abuse—has me in such a rage that I have to remind myself that she is here with me and it will do neither of us any good if I get sent to prison for murder. We were in bed and November was lying on top of me as I played with her hair when I finally asked the question that had been nagging me.

“Tell me about your mom,” I said, feeling her whole body go tight. It made my stomach clench knowing that whatever she was about to say was bad. So bad that she was not breathing and her nails were digging into the skin on my arms.

“My mom was an illusion,” she whispered, her body getting closer like she was trying to press her way inside of me. “She was one person to the world and then with me, she was someone completely different.” I squeezed her to encourage her to keep going.