I turn on the hot water in the sink, grabbing a couple of washcloths and cleaning myself up quickly before walking back into the room. I take a second to appreciate her—her hair spread out across my pillow, her body glistening with sweat, her legs still slightly parted, showing off her pussy.
I walk to the side of the bed, trying to figure out exactly what I want to say to her. I fucked up. She was a virgin, and chances are she’s not on the pill, but I can’t bring myself to be disappointed if she got pregnant. I want that. I know I’m clean; I get tested every couple of months. I got checked right after I met her.
Her eyes slightly open as I bend, placing the warm cloth between her legs.
“How you feeling?”
“Fine. Sleepy,” she replies with a small smile, her eyes heavy with sleep.
“You want a shirt?” I ask, knowing that she always sleeps in something. Someday, I will get her used to sleeping naked, but not now.
“Yes, please.” She sits up, watching as I grab a shirt from the dresser for her, and a pair of boxers for myself, pulling them up on the way to the bed.
“I really hate covering you up,” I tell her, helping her into the shirt.
She laughs, flopping back onto the bed. “I’m so tired.” She yawns through her words.
“Well, sneaking out of the bed this morning before spending the day hiding from your man will do that to you.”
“I’m really sorry about that,” she says, her voice quiet and her eyes soft. “I hate that you were worried. I just didn’t know what to do. I feel like ever since I met you, I have wanted something I’ve never wanted before, and that scares me. I don’t know what I’m doing, and my head is all messed up. I just want to make sure I’m good enough for you.”
I know I’m looking at her like she’s crazy. Sophie’s not being good enough for me is laughable, but I can tell by the look on her face that she’s serious. I sit down on the side of the bed before pulling her around into my lap.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I push the hair out of her face.
“Stop calling me that,” she snaps, slapping my arm.
“No, baby. If you think for one second that what you just said isn’t completely whacked, then you’re crazy.”
“I’m not. It’s true.”
“No, first of all, you’re way too good for someone like me, but I’m way too fucking selfish to let you go.”
“I’m not too good for you.” She shakes her head. “You’re too good for me. You make me feel safe, and that makes me worry. I don’t want to use you as a crutch.”
“Baby, when you’re in a relationship, it’s give and take. It’s only right that I make you feel safe, because you make me feel whole.”
“This seems like it’s moving really fast,” she whispers, laying her head on my shoulder.
“You have no idea what fast is. We have been together for a few months, and I’ve been going slow, wanting you to be comfortable. But like I told you yesterday, I’m done. I will make sure you’re happy, but I won’t let you continue to put things on hold just because you’re afraid.” I run my hand down her back and kiss the top of her head. “I need to tell you something.”
“Oh God.” She buries her face into my chest. “The last time you said that you needed to tell me something, you told me you had my background ran.”
“Are you on birth control?” I ask, ignoring her last remark.
“No,” she says quietly.
“I forgot the condom. I’m clean. I got checked right after we met.”
“I could still get pregnant,” she whispers.
“You could.” I pull her tighter against me. “I wouldn’t mind that.”
“I’m starting to think you’re the crazy one.” She looks up at me, shaking her head.
“I know what I want. I keep telling you this, baby, but you’re just not getting it. You are it for me.” I lean forward, kissing her forehead.
“How is it possible that you can scare me and make me feel safe at the same time?” she asks, looking up at me, her finger running across my bottom lip.
“I don’t know, Sophie, but I do know that what we have is good. No more running.” I run a finger down the center of her face.
“I won’t run again.” She yawns, cuddling closer to me. I bite back a smile, wondering how one chick can make me crazy happy then make me just plain crazy.
“All right. Let’s go to sleep.”
I settle her back on the bed before letting Daisy into the room. I climb in next to her, and Sophie shifts, her head going to my chest, her arm around my waist, and her leg over mine. I hear her light snore a few minutes after she relaxes. Daisy jumps up on the bed, pushing her way under the covers before settling in. I close my eyes and smile as an image of Sophie, round with my child, flashes through my head.