“It has a tracker?” I repeat, and he must recognize my tone, because he slows down and turns toward me again.
“It has a tracker, Ellie.” He nods then adds, “You and Hope are in that car. You both are coming to mean something to me, so if you want to be pissed about it, you’re going to just have to get over it. It’s gonna stay, and there isn’t anything you can say that will make me take it out,” he says causally, like we’re talking about the things he needs to pick up from the grocery store.
“You’re crazy,” I whisper, taking a deep gulp of air. “You’re seriously cuckoo. Like, white coat, padded room crazy,” I ramble, looking at him.
“Wasn’t crazy before you, so if I get diagnosed as mentally unstable, that’s all you, baby.” He grins and I cover my face.
“I’m going to tell your mom about this,” I tell him, knowing his mom is probably the only person on this earth that he’s scared of. Hopefully she can help me fix her son, or get him medicated, I think as we begin to walk again.
“Baby, she’s had a tracker in every car she’s owned since she and my dad got together.”
“So this is obviously genetic. Your dad is crazy too,” I tell him then feel myself slow down when I see Jax grinning. “What?” I question, tilting my head and studying him.
“Nothing. You’re just really fucking cute when you ramble.”
“I don’t ramble. Sometimes I have a lot to say about stuff, but I don’t ramble,” I gripe, knowing damn well I ramble. I have done it since I can remember. I tend to over share or say too much, when I should just shut up.
“Fine, you don’t ramble.” He smiles again then leans to the side of the stroller, looking in on Hope. “She’s out.”
“She had an early morning,” I say as we start walking again. “How mad at me is Ashlyn?” I ask after a long moment of silence.
“She’s worried,” he says quietly, pulling me a little closer to his side. “She knows how I feel about you. She also knows that women can be bitches, so she’s worried you’re gonna freak and leave all of us behind if something like this happens again.”
I want to tell him I won’t leave, that I’m brave and strong, but I know that’s a lie, so I keep my mouth closed and my side pressed tight to his as we move along the shaded path.
“I know we just met, Ellie, but I need you to know that, while we’re figuring us out, I’m all in.”
“I have a daughter, Jax,” I remind him quietly.
“So? What does Hope have to do with this?”
“I have a kid. Dating me is not as simple as dating a girl who has no responsibilities. I have a human that counts on me for everything, a mini person who lives, breathes, eats, and needs loads of attention,” I tell him, and he stops walking and turns me to face him.
“I know this, Ellie.” He smiles, leaning in and kissing my forehead before whispering there, “I know this, and I’m still here with you right now. If I wanted to be with someone else, I could be, but I’m not. I want this. I want you and Hope.”
“You scare me,” I admit, leaning my forehead into his chest.
“You scare me too, baby,” he says, taking my hand and placing it over his heart. “Do you feel that?” he asks as his heart beats against the palm of my hand.
“Yes.”
“Twice, you’ve taken it. The first time I saw you looking so afraid, like the world was against you when you walked out of those woods alone, I gave it to you. Today, when you pulled away from the house, you took it. It knows it belongs to you, so it willingly went with you when you left. It’s yours, Ellie, if you want it.”#p#分页标题#e#
“You’re really good at this kind of thing, aren’t you?” I ask him, lifting my eyes to meet his.
“Never done anything like this before,” he confesses, making my breath catch and my body melt deeper into his.
“There’s so much…” I pause and lean my forehead against his chest again while locking my jaw. I don’t know why I haven’t told him about Hope’s dad. Well, I guess I do. When people find out she’s not my biological daughter, they have a tendency to act like she shouldn’t call me her mom, that I shouldn’t consider her my daughter. They don’t understand that she’s mine. No, I didn’t give birth to her, but I have taken care of her since she was just a few weeks old. I was the one who endured sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and bottle feedings. I was there the first time she rolled over, her first step. I will be there for every first she has. She’s the one person in this world who loves me, really loves me, unconditionally. She was my brother’s Hope for a brighter future, and now she’s mine.