Until Harry(88)

“Drew is pregnant?” Lochlan asked.

I nodded.

“Oh, honey,” my nanny frowned.

“I can’t stay here and watch them have a family. I can’t stay here without Lavender. I need to get away.”

My father set his jaw. “Like on a holiday?”

I shook my head. “No, Dad, not like a holiday.”

Things were silent for a moment until Layton said, “You want to move away?”

I nodded.

“To where?” he asked.

It’s now or never, I told myself.

“To New York.”

Silence.

“Can you repeat that?” my father said, his voice dangerously low.

I swallowed. “I’m moving to New York.”

My father’s face turned a shade of red I had never seen before. He flicked his eyes to where my uncle stood, and he glared. “What the fuck is this?” he asked.

My uncle’s shoulders sagged. “She can’t be here anymore, Tom. She needs to get away and clear her head.”

“So go down to the country for a spa weekend or something,” my father bellowed when he looked back to me. “You are not moving to America. No fucking way.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m twenty, Dad. I don’t need your permission.”

“Don’t throw that in his face,” Layton snapped at me. “You aren’t thinking clearly; you can’t—”

I cut my brother off: “I can’t ever think clearly here, Layton. I need to leave and figure myself out.”

“Have you forgotten what happened to you last year?” he raged. “You could have died, and now you want to up and leave the country on your own? That’s fucking selfish of you. You can’t do that to us.”

I pushed my hair out of my face. “I’m not trying to hurt anyone, Layton, but this is my decision.”

“It’s a shitty fucking one!” he bellowed, surprising all of us.

Layton was not one to fight; he was usually the peacekeeper, but not today. Today he was furious, and I was his target.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I said calmly.

Lochlan growled. “You aren’t moving to America.”

I set my jaw. “Yes, I am. It’s all arranged.”

“What?” my mother whispered.

I looked at her and hated that I saw tears in her eyes. “I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon after Lavender’s funeral.”

“What?” everyone screamed.

I jumped and tried to think of something to calm everyone, but there was nothing I could say that would change the situation.

“Lane,” Nanny shouted, getting my attention. “You cannot up and leave the country. You’re distraught over losin’ Lavender and about Kale startin’ a family, but this isn’t the right move, sweetheart.”

“Staying here isn’t an option,” I replied. “I need distance. I need space. I need time.”

“Are you hearing this bullshit?” Lochlan snapped at our uncle. “How can you stand there and be so calm when she is talking about leaving the country on her fucking own when she is in this state of mind?”

My uncle locked eyes with Lochlan. “Talking her out of it was the first thing I intended to do when she mentioned it, but I saw in her eyes that she was leaving here whether we wanted her to or not. It’s be on board and help her or—”

“Or nothing!” Lochlan snapped. “If she leaves, I’m fucking done. I refuse to worry myself sick over her. I’ve done it all my life.”

“Are you kidding me?” I said to my brother. “I never once asked you to bother yourself with worrying about me. I never asked for anyone to do that, but you all did it, and I know it’s because you love me, but you can’t protect me from everything. I have to do this.”

“Why?” my father shouted. “Why do you have to leave?”

My shoulders slumped. “It’s too hard.”

“You will get over your crush on Kale—”

“It’s not a crush. I love him!” I shouted.

My father narrowed his eyes. “You’re twenty and you’ve never had a relationship. What do you know about love?”

My father’s words cut me deeply.

“I know that watching him be with someone else is killing me, do you understand that?” I asked, my voice tight with emotion. “It. Is. Killing. Me.”

“She’s in a state over Lavender and—”

“Nanny, stop,” I said, cutting her off. “I’m not blinded. I’m seeing clearly and I need to leave here.”

“If you leave here, Lane,” my father said coldly, “don’t come bloody back!”