Untamed (A Bad Boy Secret Baby Romance)(128)
“It’s fine, Jack.”
“I keep calling you Caroline.”
“You’ll get used to my real name,” I say, winking at him.
“But, really now, go home,” he says. “I’ll stay to tidy up. Your belly is getting bigger than mine!” He rubs his beer belly, looks at it forlornly. “Except mine won’t ever go away.”
I smile. “You know, they say losing the pregnancy weight is pretty tough as well.”
“You’re young, you’ll manage. Go on, see you on Monday.”
“Thanks, Jack,” I say, climbing up from my knees slowly, my hand instinctively going to my belly. I’m nearly at six months, and due to start maternity leave fairly soon.
“And thanks again,” I say. “For giving me a contract.”
“I’ve seen you with the kids. You’re a natural. We’ll get you some more specific training after things settle down. But I think it’s good for the school to have a young, American teacher, anyway. To be exposed to different cultural elements at a young age.”
“You really think so?”
He shrugs. “I try to hire not just Australian teachers, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“I had.”
“I think it’s good for them. Attitudes towards people that are different from us is something I believe kids pick up at a young age, and it just gets progressively harder to correct. The kids here at the school will have a head-start, in that regard, even if it’s an unconscious one.”
“I hadn’t considered that before,” I tell him. “I was going to do a module on diversity education and exposure for children… back at college before I was forced to leave.”
“Well, if you’re ever interested, I’m subscribed to all the journals. I could talk your head off.”
“Thanks,” I tell him.
“How will everything be, if I might ask? To take care of the baby?”
I sigh. “To be honest with you, Jack, I haven’t even begun thinking that far ahead. After everything that’s happened…”
“It’s okay, Deidre. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“When I figure it out, I’ll let you know?”
“No worries,” he says. He nods at me, shuffles his feet for a moment, then continues down the hallway outside.
I gather my things, say bye to everybody, receive no less than four rubs of my belly, and then go outside. It’s warm, the sun is shining, and I soak it all up in my black sweater, feeling a little like a cat.
With a hand over my eyes, I look around for the car, see it parked a small ways up, and start walking. Duncan’s leaning against it, reading a book.
A book.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him read a book.
“Hey,” I call, smiling. He snaps the book shut, comes to me, holds me and kisses me.
“I missed you.”
“Yeah right,” I say. “I saw you eight hours ago. What are you reading?”
He opens the door for me, and I climb into the car, and then he hands me the book.
The Happiest Baby on the Block.
I turn around, look in the back seat, and see piles of books on parenting, on what it’s like being pregnant, on giving birth.
He gets into the car beside me, and I say to him, “Someone went on a shopping spree today.”
“Well, we’re getting closer,” he says. “Things have calmed down now. I’ve got some catching up to do.”
“I’ve got some books at home, Duncan.”
“I know,” he says. “I’ve read them all.”
For some reason, that makes me laugh.
“What, were you reading in secret?”
“Just while you were at work.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be that complicated. I mean, we’ll manage.”
“I want to give our son everything I never had, Dee. Everything you never had. I grew up without parents. How can I possibly know how to be one? Now is the time to learn whatever I can.”
“You’re over-thinking it,” I tell him. “Nobody knows how to be a parent the first time. People manage by following their hearts. Parenting is instinct, you can’t just read a book and then follow some sort of blueprint.”
“I know it’s not a blueprint, Dee. I’m not treating this like fighting training.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. But in my mind, over-thinking it is probably better than under-thinking it. At least I’ve read about other people’s experiences. I mean, Dee, I never had parents. I was never once told off by my mother, never kissed goodnight by someone I cared for, never been shouted at by someone I didn’t want to let down. I never had a father to look up to, to learn from. I never felt a soft touch when I was upset. These are experiences people draw on when they become parents, and it influences how they behave to their children.”