Unsuitable(96)

I can’t even be jealous because she deserved to be loved. And, after what he lived through, he deserves his revenge.

But I can’t be a party to it. I have too much to lose.

“I understand your need for revenge, Kas. For what he did to you and Haley—”

“And you.” His eyes snap to mine, anger flaring in them. “He put you in prison. He stole eighteen months of your life. Because of him, you lost Jesse. This isn’t just about Haley anymore, Daisy. It’s about you, too.”

My heart constricts painfully.

I take a step toward him. “I don’t want you to do anything for me. I made my peace with what had happened to me a long time ago.”

But I do want that bastard to die for what he did to Kas. I just don’t want Kas to be the one to do it. Kas has endured and suffered enough. More than anyone ever should. I don’t want him to suffer anymore. I want him to be free of this.

“I don’t want you to go after Damien. I want you to stay here with me. I want you safe.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I understand your need to do this, but I can’t be a part of it. I won’t stand in your way, and I won’t ask you to choose. But”—I pull in a strengthening breath—“if you keep on your path of revenge, then…this is where we end. I can’t risk Jesse. I love you. I honestly do. But I love Jesse more. He will always come first. I have to protect myself to protect him. I need him back home with me, and I can’t…I won’t let anything jeopardize that. I’ll keep your secret. You can trust me on that. But I can’t be here anymore. I can’t be with you.”

“Jesus.” He squeezes his eyes closed, tipping his head back.

He stays that way for what seems like forever when, in reality, it’s seconds. Jaw clenched, eyes tightly shut, his body is so still that I’m not even sure if he’s breathing right now.

Please, Kas. Don’t go after him. Let it go. Stay with me.

He exhales a breath that sounds a lot like a decision made. And I watch as he opens his eyes and lowers them to mine. I read his answer there, and my heart sinks.

“I never should have started anything with you. I knew it was wrong. I’m sorry—”

I cut him off with my hand. “Don’t…”

His eyes stare at the floor. “I have to finish what I started…what they had started seven years ago. I have to put Doyle in the ground for what he did. I’m sorry, Daisy.”

He looks back up to me, and the apology in his eyes guts me.

And that’s when it hits me.

This is it.

Kas and I are over.

Over before we really got a chance to begin.

Pain, the likes of nothing I’ve ever felt before, lances through me.

If I had ever questioned how much Kas meant to me, I just got my answer.

More than I knew possible.

“Okay.” I blow out a fortifying breath, holding myself together when all I want to do is fall apart. “I guess there’s nothing left to say. Except for…good-bye.”

His eyes flicker with regret. “Good-bye, Daisy.”

Those softly spoken words splinter my heart, gutting me.

Putting steel in my back, I curl my fingers into my palms until my nails bite into my skin. I start to walk away.

As I pass him, I breathe him in, and the scent of him is almost enough to stop me in my tracks.

Almost but not quite enough. Because there’s someone out there who needs me more.

“Daisy…”

Kas’s voice touches my back, and it’s agony, stopping me in my tracks. Misery lodges in my throat.

I suck in a breath, closing my eyes.

It takes an age before I find the strength to turn back to him, and when I do, he’s still leaning against the wall, not looking at me, eyes on the ground, his arms wrapped around himself.

Summoning his own strength, he turns my way and lifts his eyes to mine, and for the first time, I see Kas.

The real Kas.

He’s wide open and bleeding for me.

God, it hurts. It hurts so fucking much.

Tears fill my eyes. I bite my lip to keep the pain in.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better man for you. The man you deserve.” His voice is rough with emotion.

And the tears spill down over my cheeks.

I know they affect him. I see his hand flex, like he wants to reach out and touch me. But he stays where he is.

“I don’t think I’m capable of love anymore,” he speaks softly. “I haven’t been for a long time. But I do know what I feel for you, and it’s…”

He gently shakes his head, his eyes briefly looking away before coming back to me. I see the shine in them, and it makes me cry harder.

“What I feel for you is debilitating and terrifying and exhilarating…and the best thing to ever happen to me. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. And, if you only ever believe one thing I’ve told you, then believe this; if I could love someone, then it would be you, Daisy. A million times over, it would be you.”