“Maybe we can talk alone, man-to-man, for a minute.” Bobby looked at me expectantly, hoping, I guess, that I’d take the hint and leave, but I wasn’t going anywhere unless Bo wanted me to and his firm clasp told me I was staying.
“We don’t have private business ever. Where’s Mom?”
Bobby shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’ve been wondering what you’re doing with your trust.”
“You need to borrow some money?”
Shooting me another uneasy glance, Bobby said slowly, “Just maybe a little bit, to fix up the house.” He waved his arm around the room.
“Where’s Mom?” Bo leaned over farther, looming over both of us. Even I felt intimidated.
“Your old lady moved out years ago,” Bobby sneered.
Bo released my shoulder and pulled my chair back, away from Bobby. For a moment I wondered if Bo would hit his father. Instead, Bo tugged me to my feet and started toward the entrance. I heard Bobby’s chair scrape backward and winced at the thought of the scratches the chair was making on the once-beautiful hardwood floors. Bo picked up the pace and we walked faster, as fast as we could without appearing like we were running.
“Now wait a minute there, son,” Bobby called out. Bo whirled around.
“I’m not your ‘son’ and haven’t been since I discovered you’re a lowlife piece of shit that gets off on beating a woman half his size while jerking off to fantasies of his kid’s conquests. I don’t claim you, old man.” Bo spat at the floor. “I only came back here to see Mom, and since she isn’t here, I’m gone. Don’t speak of me. Don’t even think of me. You can rot here with the spoiled food and the spilled beer.”
I squeezed his hand hard, trying to convey every ounce of nonverbal support possible. He squeezed back, and we turned and walked through the door. Bobby was calling something out behind us, but we both ignored him.
The sun was setting, turning the horizon on fire. I heard Bo take a deep cleansing breath, and I did the same.
BO
RELIEF. I’D FACED DOWN MY old man. I didn’t know if AM understood how fucking scared I had been of this moment. She got me, so it was likely she knew without me verbalizing it. I hated appearing weak in front of her. The old man wouldn’t approve, but I was determined to stop measuring myself by those standards, the ones that he had defined. I didn’t even realize I had been until I stood in the house, remembering all the directives about what a real man did or did not do. A real man got a lot of pussy. A real man didn’t pick up after himself. A real man showed a woman her place.
A real man? Bobby looked like a broken-down and abandoned car. Unwanted. Ugly, inside and out. I looked down at the top of AM’s dark brown hair, the setting sun making it look blue in some areas, more mysterious. I loved pulling my fingers through her long hair, wrapping the strands around my fingers like I could tie her to me with some spell. If there was a higher entity out there, I had to thank him or her for AM. I’d be lost without her.
I wanted to pull her into my arms and show her exactly how much she meant to me. I could express myself so much better when we were alone, in bed, and naked. But I also didn’t want to expose her to the unsavory lusts of my father, so I hustled her into the car.
“See how fucked-up my past is? Still want to be with me?” I asked, trying to joke about it but failing.
“Yes, Bo. As long as you don’t try to keep pushing me away.”
“I’m trying hard to hold on to you.”
“Don’t doubt it,” she answered with no hesitation. “Where to now?”
“I need to find out where my mom is. How about I drop you off at the motel, and you can get us a room while I go and ask a few questions,” I suggested. I suppose I could have asked my father, but I didn’t want to spend another second with him. In a town as small as Little Oak, even Ricky Cartwright at the gas station would know.
I KNOCKED ON ROOM 214, and AM let me in. I noticed the two double beds and scowled. “Why two beds?”
AM shrugged and closed the door. “The clerk kind of weirded me out. Asked me a bunch of questions, so I figured two beds gives you plausible deniability.”
“Christ, AM, I’m not embarrassed to be sleeping with you.” I threw our bags onto one bed. “I’m damn proud of it. Plus, everyone’s going to hear you scream with pleasure tonight anyway.” I picked her up and threw her onto the empty bed, joining her there immediately. She wiggled underneath me until my head was resting between her breasts.
“You find your mother?”
I didn’t answer right away, enjoying her fingers running through my hair, lightly scratching my scalp. It was both relaxing and arousing. “Yeah. She’s living in a house over on Betsy Ross Road.”