"What?" I demanded. "What was that look for?"
"Just felt sorry for the old boy. No matter how many donuts he leaves, he'll come away empty handed."
“How do you know?”
"I know a hell of a lot about pain and loss. When my baby brother died, I turned to his wife. They'd been high school sweethearts, married just days before he died in Afghanistan. I thought I loved her, but she ran off with a Marine she knew all of five seconds." He laughed hollowly. "And she told me I didn't love her, that I only loved Will."
His story astonished me. Tucker had a steady stream of one-night stands. Some hookups lasted a week but hardly longer. I never once thought he nursed a broken heart.
"Was she right?" I asked.
He sucked in his lower lip and gave me an abrupt nod. "Yeah, I didn't want to let her go because she was the last piece of Will I had left. Finn isn't into you because he wants your sister. If he wanted your sister, he could have her. I only wanted Sam because Will was gone. That isn't the case with the two of you. The only person who’s making you feel second place is you."
Who’s first wife now? Finn had said when I’d told him to leave that night.
After those revelations, Tucker disappeared.
I couldn’t sit still, so I drove to Finn’s farm, bypassing the main road and taking the little-known access road toward the back of the property. I wanted to see it again—the pond where we'd made love, the land he cared about.
I parked the car and got out. The walk through the small forest wasn't easy. No one had used this path for a long time. I only knew about it because Ivy'd had me drive out here more than once after she and Finn had broken up and she'd lost her driver's license due to multiple OWIs. She'd wanted to see what that asshole had been up to. We never caught sight of him—only his truck, which had changed over the years.
I settled down on the spot where we'd had our picnic and drew my knees underneath my chin.
"Winter Donovan, right?"
My head jerked up. Mrs. O'Malley had crept up behind me, although how I didn't hear the horse, I didn't know.
"You were lost in thought," she explained, reading my silent confusion correctly. "Where's my son?"
"Working. It's nice to see you, Mrs. O'Malley." I stood and watched as she dismounted.
She swung her leg off the horse and came to stand beside me. Her riding boots were old leather and covered with dust. She wore actual jodhpurs that were slightly baggy around the thighs, a helmet, and a trim vest over a long-sleeved blue denim blouse.
"You two haven't been back since that one night." I felt my cheeks heat at the memory of that. I hoped she hadn't been around the pond that day.
"No ma'am, it's been a busy few weeks," I lied.
She stuck her hand under my chin and pushed it upward. She was about five inches taller than me, and I guessed she wanted to look me in the face. "You have this sad, martyred look on your face."
"Martyred?"
"Yes, very. I know it well. I've worn it every day of my life, so I recognize it easily when I spot it on someone else's face. Is this about the baby?"
I did a double take. "How do you know about that?"
She flicked her fingers. "Henry is a gossipy old man. He keeps me in the loop. He was convinced Finn would fail. Too young and not enough experience."
"Finn isn't going to fail," I retorted.
She shrugged as if she couldn’t care less. "Henry told me about the drama. Must have overheard something in the trailers. You are apparently noisy—in all your activities." She looked down her nose, and I flushed, deep and red. Note to self: don't have sex in construction trailers.
"I couldn't say, ma'am," was all I could choke out.
"I didn't want Finn to take this job. In fact, I actively tried to get him to quit. I had Henry call off the concrete subcontractor and create a few other problems that would delay the project so he'd walk away. I underestimated Finn's stubbornness."
"He doesn't walk away from anything." I thought of the daily donuts and coffee. The frequent trips to Tucker's to see me. I wondered about all the phone calls and text messages I'd missed.
She pursed her lips and looked out at the pond.
"I love Finn, but I've always thought of him as inherently lazy because everything came easy for him. He didn't need to study hard in high school to achieve As. He never had to work to gain any girl's attention. He was a naturally gifted athlete and had a good sense of humor which drew people to him. He wanted for nothing. Not friends, appreciation from his teachers, or material goods. He had everything, including the deep admiration and love of his parents. Particularly his father.