"Why are you acting like this?" Her hands reached for me, but I stepped aside.
Margo had told me to be honest.
"Because I love both of you, and you both hurt me very badly. I need time away from you so I can remember how much I do love you. You are killing my love for you. I have tried so hard to be strong for you, Ivy, because you’ve been there for me. But I can't do it any longer. My whole life has been sacrifices so that you could get well. But I cannot be the staff you lean on every time you feel weak. Because you don't feel weak occasionally. You feel weak all the time."
"I can't believe you’re abandoning me. You’re leaving me like trash on the corner."
I wiped the tears from my eyes. "You need to learn not to say things like that to me. I closed our joint account. You have enough in savings to pay your rent until you have your baby. That's about five months. It's all the money we have left from Mom and Dad. I'm taking the car. It's an even trade."
"Winter, don't do this to me."
If she had said one word about me, I might have stayed, but she was stuck in her own world and her own bubble. Margo had been thrilled when I’d called her, saying it was the thing that Ivy needed to move on. "I'm doing this for both of us," I said. I could barely get the words out. My throat was clogged with so much emotion, so much love and fear, that it threatened to choke me.
"You’re being a selfish bitch," she raged. She stepped forward, and her four inches on me felt looming and intimidating.
"Yes, I am. I love you, Ivy. But yes, for once I'm being selfish." I picked up my purse and walked out.
When I got to Tucker's, everyone was there—Omar, Gig, and Rachel. Rachel held me while I cried, and the guys made homemade pizza.
25
FINN
Winter wouldn't talk to me. I called and texted but got nothing back. I guessed she was either ignoring me or blocking me. Either way I was shut out. Ivy came to work every day, to my surprise. At first she’d looked smug, and then one day—the day after I’d showed up at Atra—she came in looking shattered.
I broke my silence. "What happened?"
"Winter moved out," she answered in a disbelieving tone.
I couldn't believe it either. "Where did she go?"
"She moved in with Tucker."
"She what?" I shouted, fists at my side.
"She moved into Tucker's spare room. She left me enough rent to last me until the baby comes. What am I going to do?" She laid her head on the desk and cried.
I’d lived through enough of Ivy Donovan’s tears. I didn’t need to see this show again.
I slammed out of the trailer and drove like a demon over to Atra.
"Where the fuck is Tucker?" I demanded.
"Right here, asshole." The man himself stepped up from behind one of the shielded stations. His hands were encased in blue rubber gloves, and there were ink stains all over them. I wanted to deck him.
"Where is she?"
"Not here."
"Then where?" I ground my teeth in an effort to be civil and not take the three lengths that separated us and drive his smarmy head into the tiled floor. He may have a few muscles on him, but I threw around fifty pounds worth of lumber, duct work, and pipe every day.
"When she's ready to see you, she'll call you."
I surged toward him, but a pair of small hands caught me. I looked down to see another pair of blue gloves resting against my chest. The ink seeped into my white T-shirt, but the curly-haired co-worker of Winter’s didn't care. She pushed me back.
"Not here. You know Winter wouldn't like that."
I nodded, jerkily as some semblance of sense seeped into my rage thickened brain. Winter told me this was her family and I couldn’t go around decking someone she considered her brother. The last thing I wanted was make her hate me for some other reason. I held up my hands and took another step back.
"I just want to know where she is."
The woman gave me a small smile. "Let her come to you."
That was shitty advice.
I did the only thing I could. I went home and rented that stupid movie.
"This is the worst fucking movie I have ever seen. There are no decent men in this flick. Everyone's an asshole," I complained when Adam wandered in.
"What are you watching?" He joined me on the couch.
"The Joy Luck Club."
"Do you still have balls, or did the Donovan sisters chop them off."
"Fuck you," I tossed back. "Winter told me this story about always feeling like the second wife, and now that she's found out about Ivy, that's how she feels. Second wife, never first. She got that stupid fucking idea from this movie. I blame the Donovans for this. They shouldn't have allowed their daughter to watch this trash," I ranted.