15
FINN
Winter looked worn out when I picked her up for dinner.
“What’s wrong, and whose ass do I need to kick?” I said only half-jokingly.
She gave me a wan smile. “Nice to see you, too.”
Something was wrong because she’d required a lot of cajoling to let me take her to dinner, which surprised me. After all we'd shared at the farm, I thought we left solid. But she hemmed and hawed and then finally caved. It pissed me off a little and worried me a helluva lot more.
"You look like a truck ran over you."
"Thanks," she said sourly. Then she laid her head down on the table.
I quickly stood and went to her side of the booth. I pushed her unresponsive body over and pulled her into my arms. "What's going on?"
"Ivy's pregnant," she mumbled into the tabletop.
I thought for a moment that I misheard her. "Pregnant?"
She nodded.
"Holy shit." A dozen thoughts tumbled in my head. How far along was she? Did she name the father?
"Yes, that was my response too." Winter sat up, but her head was still so heavy she had to prop it up with a hand. Leaning on her elbow, she stared at me with dark, worried eyes.
"What’s she going to do?" I knew that answer, though. Winter wouldn't have looked this way if Ivy had made a different decision. My heart beat so loud I swear she could hear it.
"She's keeping it. I know it sounds stupid, but I just…I could have been aborted, you know? Ivy didn't want that. And I can't stand the thought of my nephew or niece not being part of the family. I asked Tucker to take her on, but he said no. Maybe I should push Ivy to have an abortion. I just don't know. I feel like we're making all the wrong decisions already."
I pushed her head into my shoulder so she couldn't see me. So I couldn't see her.
"When's she due?" I asked, my voice hoarse and dry.
"She didn't know. She couldn't remember the last time she had her period. The nurse said without an ultrasound, we wouldn't know the accurate due date, but between twelve and sixteen weeks."
Twelve and sixteen weeks? My dad died one hundred eight days ago. That was fifteen weeks ago. Fuck. FUCK. I pulled up the memory, the one that I'd tried to forget after Winter had found me that night. The one I hadn’t told her about. But all I could remember was Ivy in the drugstore. Ivy in my truck. Ivy and I drinking. Ivy and I… No. I closed my eyes. Nothing happened that night. I would've remembered.
I cleared my throat. I had to come clean. Better now than later. Winter already felt vulnerable because she felt like she was second place. "You know that night you found me? I was in a bad place."
"Everything okay here?" A brown-haired waiter whose hair flopped into his eyes interrupted.
Winter immediately pushed away from my chest and brushed her own hair back. "Yes, everything is fine." She picked up her menu and looked at me and then at the space across from her, meaning, I was supposed to go over to the other side. Not happening.
"I'll have the steak, mashed potatoes, and soup."
"Soup and bread. Lots of bread." Winter put in her own order.
The waiter took off, and I tried again. "I'd been drinking a lot after Dad died. It was a tough time, and I did a bunch of stupid things."
"Did you want bread before or with your entree?"
Goddammit. Would he just shut the hell up and put in our order. “With the entrée,” I said impatiently.
"With the soup, please," she replied with a soft smile, trying to make up for me being an asshole, I suppose.
Winter elbowed me in the side, but I didn’t flinch, too busy glaring at the waiter who refused to get a fucking clue. He stood, half bent over, as if Winter were going to give him her phone number. Hello, asshole, I’m sitting right next to her.
“She said with the soup,” I repeated loudly. Was I going to have to starting mauling Winter in front of him so he’d stop staring at her like a stupid cow?
He finally shuffled away, and I turned to Winter to finish confessing. Before I could open my mouth, though, she said, “I know what you're going to say, and you don't need to explain."
"I don't?" I blinked. Had Ivy said something?
"Yes, it's in the past, and there's no reason for us to spend time dwelling on the past. It didn't involve you and me and it won't affect us in the future."
That…that was incredibly generous and maybe entirely too optimistic, but if she thought it wouldn't affect us then why should I spend any mental energy on it?
I made one more stab at it so she knew I was truly sorry. "You know that I drank with Ivy. I never did drugs with her, but I definitely drank."