Unrequited(32)

I thought back to high school and the thoughtless, immature kid I used to be. I hoped I was different—better. "Maybe you just know the wrong guys."

She absently tapped a finger against the top of my hand. "I dated this guy a couple of years ago, and I guess I was ready for something more serious—an actual boyfriend. I didn't have one in high school. I hung out with a lot of people but never had a boyfriend. I wanted one though. But…it never worked out. After high school, I got this job as a runner for a marketing firm downtown."

"That was your first mistake," I interrupted. "Those white collar types are total duds in the sack."

"Shush it," she tsked.

"I already know where this is going, and it will end up with me having to make up for my gender. Good thing I'm up for it." I lifted the arm that wasn't being held and kissed my biceps.

"Oh my God, Finn." She laughed. "Do you want me to tell this story or not?"

"Tell me."

In a way, I didn't want to hear about her past loves or her past boyfriends, but I wanted to know her and that included all the uncomfortable bits of her past. Besides, I was the one with the uncomfortable past. And I was the one driving her around wearing panties and a shirt. I could handle a few stories about her exes, emphasis on the ex part.

She squeezed my arm and then continued. "This one guy started flirting with me, and I was so into it. More the feeling than the person, you know?"

I nodded. I did know. It's how I’d ended up drifting into and then out of the relationships I'd had. It was easy and convenient. And I could have been with anyone and felt the same way, which was why they inevitably ended.

"I realized that at the end, but in the beginning I thought it was all Hugh."

"Hugh?" I coughed. A douchenozzle name if I ever heard one. "His name was Hugh?"

"I know." She laughed. "He was a new marketing hire and had just graduated from Central. He was very proper. Never used contractions and talked about existentialism for hours. 'I thought about life, and therefore I am existing,'" she intoned, mimicking a male's voice. "He didn't really want a girlfriend, but he thought of himself as a good guy so he couldn't admit all he was really after was a regular hookup. I was…overwhelming for him. He wouldn't acknowledge me at work because I was clerical staff, and he'd tell me not to text him so often or that we should only see each other on Saturday nights."

"Did he cheat on you?" I wondered if Hugh needed a visit.

"Not that I know of, but he made me very self-conscious of expressing any kind of strong feeling. He once said that for an Asian I had a lot of emotions."

"I hope you broke up with him soon after, or I will have lost all respect for you."

She laughed a little. "I wish. It ended because I was laid off and had to find a different job. When I started working at Atra that was the last straw for Hugh. Not only was I too clingy, but I was working at a tattoo parlor and a dingy one in a strip mall on the south side. Quelle horreur!"

"Sounds like you escaped a fate worse than death."

"It wasn't one of my better decisions."

"We all have past relationships we regret." It wasn't that I was unhappy that I’d dated Ivy, only that it bothered Winter. She didn't respond, so I figured I'd change the subject. If I was taking her home to the farm, she should have a little warning about what to expect from my mom.

"How many horses do you have these days?"

"Just four. We used to have more, but when I left for college, Mom started selling off stock because it was too much work for her. Dad never enjoyed riding. I guess that's probably why Mom kept them." That came out more bitter than I had intended.

"How is she?"

"Not great."

"Oh?" she asked, and when I didn't immediately volunteer an answer she added, "You don't have to talk about it."

"No, it's fine." I squeezed her knee reassuringly. "I was just trying to figure how much to lay on you." My family life gave Winter's a run for the money in the fucked-up category. "I know you met my dad a few times at the baseball games, and he came off as this awesome guy, right?" She nodded. “Every one of my friends had loved my dad. He came to every game and couldn't stop talking about me, no matter if all I'd done was make a routine out at first. He was the type of guy who remembered your name even if he'd only met you once two years ago. Winter Donovan, how are you, my lass? Looking more beautiful than two years ago. How's your mum and pop? Still working at the café? Best roast beef and mashed potatoes I've ever had."