“I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” Her voice turned sharp. “I’ve been at home looking through Will’s letters. I just can’t believe it’s only been two years since he’s been gone.”
My memories of Will were fading and I hadn't realized how much until I met Gray. Will had been such a big part of my life that at one time I felt like I was losing pieces of me. For so long I'd been a part of the unit that was Will and Samantha. I hadn’t been able to move on because my future had always been as part of that unit. Everyone I knew identified me as Will's girlfriend, Will's wife and then Will's widow.
“I’ll always miss him but…” Looking down at my ring, I started tugging and it slid off like my finger had been buttered. Palming it, I spoke more forcefully. “He’s not here anymore.”
Carolyn started crying and usually that set me off, but not this time. “I’m sorry. You should talk to Tucker.” I’m not sure if she even noticed I hung up. I texted Tucker right after to call his mom and then I shut the phone off. I went upstairs and pulled out my jewelry case. I didn’t have much. There was a pearl necklace my parents had given me when I was sixteen and a watch that my grandmother had gifted me on my graduation from high school. There were a few pairs of earrings and a couple of bracelets. I wore none of it other than a pair of gold hoops I never took out. I slid the ring inside, shut the lid and then kissed the box. I loved Will. Some part of me always would.
But it was time.
Out on my deck, I soaked in the sun and finished up the cap, sweater, and tiny booties, all in ivory alpaca yarn. Making baby items was one of my favorite crafts—and not just because the projects were a lot quicker to complete. I loved the soft yarns, the tiny booties, and the idea that some of my items were the first thing that a new human being ever wore.
I had started ticking off the days left in Gray’s visit. My chest would get tight when I thought about him leaving. July was fast approaching. Ever since the fishing trip, I'd had different fantasies, imagining attending class with him. Holding hands as we walked across campus. Eating together in the cafeteria. We’d both be older students, and so we’d talk about how no one around us makes any sense, only we make sense together.
One night he appeared at the bar without Adam or any of the other guys. He just showed up.
“When are you on break?”
“Maybe ten minutes? The band has two more songs in the set list.”
He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and then spent the next ten minutes downing two waters. “Driving,” he explained when I asked him.
Eve’s eyes were wide but she didn’t say a word. When the band finished its last song of the set, she pushed me out of the bar saying that she’d be fine. Gray took me by the hand and led me inside, down the hallway and into the storeroom.
“It occurred to me,” he said as he knelt down between my legs, “that I’d made some promises I never delivered on.” I was so glad I was leaning against the door because otherwise I would have fallen over.
His rough fingers and mine made swift work of my shorts. When I was nude from the waist down, he lifted one leg over his shoulder. “Lean against the door, baby. Your knees are going to get weak.” He was smug when he said this, but why wouldn’t he be? I was coming two minutes later.
“One more time,” he said, kissing my inner thigh and rubbing the heel of his hand against me softly while I convulsed around his fingers.
This time both my legs were over his shoulders and he held me up with just one palm. He used his other hand to spread my lips and spear me repeatedly with his tongue. I felt the abrasiveness of his evening stubble against my super-sensitive skin. The only thing I could do was hang on. I dug my hands into his hair and clenched him tightly with my thighs, but he never complained that I hurt him. If anything, my eager response turned him on because he half growled, half laughed against my skin.
My heels thrummed against his back as my second orgasm swam through my bloodstream, setting fire to my nerves. It was sensory overload, and I sobbed out my release when I climaxed. Lowering me to the floor, he hugged me close, making sure that he didn’t release me until my shaking had stopped and I could stand on my own, although I felt as wobbly as an infant.
“Shit hot in the bedroom, right?” He winked.
“And the storage room,” I muttered weakly. Wickedly, he licked each of his fingers clean and I almost had another orgasm right there. When I reached for him, though, he danced away.
“You can return the favor later.” Then he pressed me up against the door and kissed me so hard that I couldn’t remember my own name. Drunk on the taste of him and in a fog from my orgasms, I couldn’t come up with a decent counter argument so I just clung to his shoulders and kissed him back. I don’t remember much about the rest of the night. I was in a sex daze.