Unraveled(19)

“No. No. It’s all good. Is that his name, Gray? I like it. It’s unusual.”

“It’s a color. Who names their kids colors?”

“Weird people. California people.” Eve’s boyfriend had arrived in the lounge and parked himself on a bar stool while I finished cashing out the drawer and she completed the bottle count.

“Opposites, then,” Eve cooed. She let go of my hand so she could pat her heart.

“Don’t go having us married in your imagination. I can’t even get my ring off, which means according to you that I’ll only attract the slimiest of slime.” The beautifully cut facets sparkled even in the crappy lighting of the bar as I waved my hand in front of her face. “This is Carolyn’s, you know.”

“Will gave you his mother’s ring?”

“Yes. But then David had to buy Carolyn a five-carat diamond to replace this one.” I pulled the diamond around to the inside of my hand. “It all worked out.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

Picking up the bills, I started counting again. “No. He was pretty angry. Besides, I could probably be used in an instructional video about how not to interact with males."

“Go up to him and explain.”

“Explain what?” Randy interjected.

“Sam made out with a guy tonight down by the storage closet and then he saw her ring and got mad. I told her she should go and explain that she’s not married anymore.”

For a moment I was irritated that Eve was sharing but what the heck, a male opinion might be worthwhile. “What do you think?” I asked him.

“I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable kissing a girl who’s got her wedding band on.” He popped more nuts in his mouth, swallowed them, and added, “But if you want to see him again then an explanation is worth a shot. Be real obvious about it. Guys are dense. Go up to him and say ‘Hey, boy, I want to do you tonight.’”

"Is that how you picked Randy up, Eve?" I teased.

"No way. He was even denser. I had to basically club him over the head and then drag him back to the car. Even then I had to climb onto him before he realized I was interested.”

"Hey, no," he protested. "I just wanted to be sure you were sure.”

"I couldn't have been a surer thing if you'd had paid for me." She shook her head in mock dismay. "But I took him against the car anyway."

"Against the car?" I was torn between being aghast and envious.

"If you haven't tried that position then I’m really sorry because up against the wall or door while he's between your knees, one leg slung over his shoulder is," she paused and shuddered, "un-friggin-believable.”

I stared at her and recalled the truncated promise Gray had given me. Just the memory made me shiver. "I believe you. I think I'm turned on just by hearing you describe it.”

"I know I am," said Randy.

"Can't wait for tonight, baby." She leaned over and cleaned his tonsils out. I watched them far too long to be polite. I realized then that I had been missing sex and more, real intimacy with another person. I missed what Eve had with her boyfriend, the right to have casual intimate contact. To hold hands with someone in public, to know that on all the important holidays someone was thinking of me. I’d missed it so much that I’d attacked a stranger in the hallway. Should I go after Gray and explain? Should I explore these feelings he’d roused? I thought I was immune to men and that my girl parts had shriveled because not one guy in the two years since Will died even warranted a second look let alone stirred sexual desire.

Eve must've seen my envious glance or felt my overlong stare because she broke it off and shooed her boyfriend away.

"It's been two years, why not give another guy a chance or at least just hook up? Get back in the game.”

I looked down at my left hand and the diamond winked backed at me. "I don't know how.”

“Go over to Adam’s house tomorrow. Maisey said he’s staying there for like six weeks. Or ask him over to your condo for coffee.”

“Coffee?”

“Or a movie.”

“What kind of coffee? And a movie? For someone I don’t know.” This sounded like terrible advice.

Randy snorted. “It’s never coffee.”

“What?”

“It’s never coffee. Or even a movie,” he elaborated. “You invite him over for anything and he’ll know you’re asking to have sex.”

“I thought you guys were dense and that I had to ask for things straight up.” Getting back into the dating pool was going to take a lot of effort. Probably more effort than I was interested in exerting. Yet…wouldn’t it be nice to leave the bar and crawl in bed next to someone? The ache I felt in my heart may not be soothed, but the ache in the body could be.