"I suspected as much." I added the peas to the sizzling bacon grease. "Here. Stir this."
She looked extremely nervous, but she did it. And underneath that nervousness was a very relaxed girl.
Because, orgasms.
Multiple orgasms.
Oh, yeah, I done good.
My cock was a hard-on that wouldn't quit, but I was happy. After I'd eaten her out on the foyer floor, she stammered something about my manly needs, and I kissed her until she shut up. We washed up at her insistence; I personally was fine with the idea of smelling her all night. Then I dragged her into the kitchen.
We rarely cook together. I'm not sure if she's ever even eaten my cooking. Having her here with me in my house made me regret not doing this sooner.
The intensity of my feelings was actually disturbing. Aura and I had eaten every bite together for months, but we'd never had fun, I'd never been skip-along giddy, and I'd silently sulked the whole time.
What an asshole I'd been. To Aura and to myself. I should have had Charis over here to do this ages ago. I shouldn't have put up with a half-assed relationship.
This was the life.
AS I PREPARED THE SEASONING flour a few minutes later, I said casually, "Reach over and turn down the heat to low, gorgeous."
"Gorgeous, huh?" I was relieved she didn't pretend not to hear.
"No way I had my face in your fine pussy and you question your gorgeousness, Sloane," I said, again going for levity when really, my heart was pounding.
I admit, I was testing her. She might not be gorgeous in the conventional way, but she was gorgeous to me in all the ways that counted.
The thing is, I want her to accept it when I say it those times we aren't panting for each other.
If that makes me scarred by Aura Renaldi, so be it.
"I guess I can deal with gorgeous, even though you're clearly on something," she said after a long silence.
"You saying I must be tripping to be attracted to you?"
"No, I guess not. It's just that I'm nothing special. I mean, I'm okay I guess. I have rocking calves. No, seriously, have you noticed my calves lately?" She pulled up her leg.
"They're cute as fuck."
She watched me coat chicken pieces with the seasoning. "I can accept that beauty is subjective, Ash. Have you ever been attracted to an ugly woman?"
I shot her a look. "I don't even know what that means. Either I'm attracted or I'm not. If I'm attracted, she's not ugly."
"But if she's ugly, could you be attracted?"
"No, because ugly means I'm not attracted. Listen, Sloane, if you're determined to get into one of our logical merry-go-rounds-"
"I'm not. I just … you said you're attracted to me." Her face, I noticed, was red. "So I can deduce from that that that you like my looks."
"Now you're getting it. I could enjoy looking at you all day," I said frankly, then smirked. "And I know you can say the same for me."
She snorted. "So conceited."
"I'm awesome at being conceited, too," I said modestly.
She gazed around waved her hand. "What did you do? This place looks different."
"Spiffed it up for you. I'm expecting you to stick around."
"Yeah?" She sounded breathless.
"Yeah."
"So I guess this is that discussion that you threatened earlier."
"Might as well be. Hand me that big frying pan and that container of grease. And over there, that round thing."
"This? What is it? It looks like a filter screen archaeologists use for sifting artifacts."
"It's just a splatter screen."
"Don't you use a deep fryer basket like at McDonalds?"
"Not the way my mama taught me. This is how my grandma fried chicken back in South Carolina."
"Asher, sorry to tell you, but you do a really bad southern accent."
I didn't let her sidetrack me. "About this thing."
"You should pay attention to what you're doing," she said quickly.
"It's heating up. So this thing we're doing. Yes." I ushered her away from the stove and turned her jaw to face me. "Charis. This thing."
I saw her swallow.
"You and me," I said gently. "We're involved."
"Right. Involved."
"Mm-hmm. We're not buddies. We're not friends with fucking benefits."
"Was that a pun?"
"No. It was emphasis. We're fucking not just fucking."
"I see. That's interesting. 'Cause I thought … I was thinking … since we are friends, we'd take this slow."
"Yeah, well, that's not the way it is. I want you. I want everything you have for me. Your body, your mind, your heart. We're taking this as fast as we can, to make up for lost time."
Her eyes were wide and I saw her swallow.
"That's what I want," I continued, keeping my tone businesslike. "And all that platonic crap? That's ancient history. Also, in case you had any idea of dating someone else, you're shelving that."
"Oh, I am?"
"Yes. You're exclusive to me and I'm exclusive to you. So there it is. What I want. Now you. Is that what you want, too?"
I held my breath, trying not to let on how much I hung on her words.
Her lips pressed together. Her hands opened and closed repeatedly. She started pacing in a frenetic circle in the center of my kitchen.
Shit, I knew I should have just pounced on her to loosen her tongue.
The frying pan had begun to smoke. I turned down the heat. Floured chicken patties made splattering sounds as I laid them in the pan.
I felt her hand on my waist. "It's all so insane. But yes, Asher, that is actually what I would like, too. I feel like this is all happening too fast, but it feels right somehow, dangerously right. I don't know how to stop it, or even if I should try."
I stiffened. Fuck yes.
She went on in a rush. "I'm crazy about you. You make me want to shove you down a manhole sometimes, but that's only sometimes. You're about the most perfect best friend I could even postulate. I trust you more than anybody, and … if you really think we should try, well, I want you to be my lover, and my … I guess … mine. For a while at least. I'd like to try it, anyway, and see … and see how it goes. If it blows up in our faces, well, at least … " Her voice drifted off, but that was okay.
I could see through her words. She was scared.
I didn't blame her. I was, too.
But she hadn't said no.
My throat threatened to close up even as my heart tried to float out of my body. "I like your thinking, Sloane."
If I turned around and grabbed her right then, I'd be fucking her on the kitchen floor as the chicken burned.
I took her hand and moved her away from the stove, since I didn't want to set either of us on fire and I was a little less controlled than I should have been.
I gulped a few times, then cleared my throat. "We have shit to work out. I haven't even fucked you yet. That's coming tonight."
"Really? It's a foregone conclusion?"
"It is. Short of a wildfire, nothing will stop us happening."
"The woman does have some say in this, you know."
"So what does she say?" I challenged.
"I say … it's a date."
Joy. Stupid grin.
She grinned back at me and knocked me across the shoulder, then, at my wince: "Oh, I forgot that's where Karl hit you, I'm super sorry."
"As I was saying," I went on, going with it, using my puppy dog eyes. "We need to work out some things."
"Um. Like?"
"Like, I'm graduating in a few months. You're done, what, in two years?"
"I'm supposed to defend my thesis next spring."
"Cool. I'll stick around campus. It doesn't matter where I live. I can work from anywhere."
"But you have employees. Hundreds of them, don't you? In Arizona and Colorado."
I waved a hand. "No more than twenty. I mostly work with contractors. And I delegate most of that shit."
She kept shaking her head. "I can't believe you're thinking that far ahead. This is crazy, it's all so crazy."
"You keep saying that, but it's absolutely sane. You said it yourself. It's dangerously right, Char."
She started to say something, stopped, then went ahead and said it. "Did you ever talk this way with Aura?"
I knew immediately what she meant. "We discussed the long term. We danced around the topic a lot." I paused for emphasis. "The way it was with Aura has nothing to do with the way it is with us. There's no point dancing around things with you, Sloane. We know each other too well, and I like to have a working plan. You are what I want."
"For now?"
"For as long as it lasts."
I thought the vagueness of my answer would set her mind at ease. Personally, given how well we got along and the violence of my feelings, I didn't see an end to the thing between us, but anything could happen, right?