Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
"Yeah, that thing," I said as if she'd replied.
Finally she said, "Sweetness. You just called me sweetness."
I smiled widely, feeling a strange kind of relief. "So I did."
She swallowed, then cleared her throat. "We never-ah, we never really forget our first crush, I don't think."
"If you say so." Especially not if it never completely went away, I politely didn't point out.
She shook her head as if in denial. "That was a long time ago, Ash."
"So? Aura always thought there was something there, she made my life hell about it. And you know what? She was right. I used the truth back there. Maybe it was a dick move. Maybe it was a stupid idea." I neatly brought her back to the real subject at issue here. "But if we're gonna talk stupid, I have to tell you what you're doing with Karl is moronic."
I took her arm while she was still doing her fish-mouth thing and started ushering her swiftly down the sidewalk, away from our interested crew. I headed toward her place, keeping silent to let her think about things. I was confident her conclusions would be favorable toward me. Charis is a reasonable, sane woman, after all.
Three blocks later, Charis broke the silence as I was using my keycard for her building. "You're making no sense. Nothing you are saying is logical."
"Why is that, Spock?" I nudged her gently up the stairwell.
"You told Aura you were splitting up because of me, when really it had nothing to do with me. But now you're trying to claim it did. You're contradicting yourself."
I rifled through her backpack for her key, which didn't jam like my copy. Her door slid smoothly open. I slid smoothly inside.
It seemed to hit her at last that I'd just bulldozed my way into her apartment. "Hey, what are you doing, Norrell? I'm crashing, not socializing."
"Don't worry, you don't have to socialize with me," I said blandly. "As for being illogical … actually, it makes perfect sense."
I backed her up against the door, put my hands on her cheeks and framed her face.
"What are you doing?"
"Touching your face. Why, would you rather I go for your hair? I can do that."
My teasing hid a multitude of reactions. Being close to her, being alone with her, not drunk, did heady things to my system. I felt exactly like that boy of so long ago, getting so fogged up over so little.
I mean, it was just skinny Sloane here, not Jessica Alba. I wasn't a lovestruck puppy anymore. This giddy excitement, this shuddering up and down my body was like traveling back in time ten years. Even sliding my hands into her hair and locking the silky strands between my fingers made my heart pound.
I'd spent so many hours imagining what she'd feel like. Her hair was shiny chestnut and shimmered with red highlights, and whenever she turned her head it would fall against her cheek like a sleek curtain. I'd wanted to feel it feathering me. I'd wanted to touch her skin under her tee shirts.
Today she didn't look all that different from the girl she'd been then. Heaviness pooled in my groin, reminding me I was no raw youth. There was no going back from this.
I licked my dry lips. Go on, Norrell. Bring on the logic.
"You're not responsible for the failure of my relationship. Aura and I did that all on our own. We're not compatible. But aside from that, the deal is, all this time I had you in the wrong box. I was sure we were platonic. But that was because I had you both around, Aura to fuck and you to pl … ."
Seeing her expression, I quit before I stepped any deeper into my own shit. Even to my own ears, I sounded like a colossal, arrogant prick of proportions so extreme that no self-respecting woman would put up with me.
Evidently that was her take, too. Her withering stare could decay protons. "Try again, dude."
"Right," I said starkly. "I've missed you, Sloane. Every day I thought about you. Everything was going to shit. Then suddenly it was over with Aura, and I saw you again, and it all got good again. You missed me too, I know you did."
She frowned but nodded.
I traced the furrows in her forehead. "You," I said like an imbecile, tracing her lips again. "You."
"Me." She yanked her face away from my touch, but her voice sounded tremulous. "Me … what?"
What I wanted to say was complicated.
You make all the blood in my body pool in my cock.
The days I don't see you I feel incomplete.
The idea of you with Karl torments me.
You're the center of my thoughts.
You're the person I know best in the world, and I want to know you even better.
But she wasn't ready to hear all that.
So what I said was the most important fact of the moment, the issue that was damming everything up.
"You can't marry my brother. He won't be into you. He won't stick to you. He'll make your life miserable."
She blinked. "He won't be into me? What exactly are you implying?"
"Nothing, it's not important," I dismissed. "The important thing here is the making you miserable part."
The way she was eying me, I knew-I just did-she wasn't trusting anything I was saying right now. An all-too-familiar sensation after dealing with Aura so recently.
"No, tell me, Asher. I don't know what it is you're up to, but I'd really like to hear why your brother who wants to marry me won't be into me. Go on, say it. Let me help you out. It's because I'm not a goddess like your girlfriend, right?"
I was floored by the question. Charis sometimes spoke self-deprecatingly about her attractiveness, but that was in a joking manner. Now with this goddess comment, I was getting shades of Aura again. Was she turning into an Aura before my very eyes?
"Don't worry," she said tightly. "I'm fully aware of the situation. I know what all the Norrell men go for. Someone like your mother and sisters, with curves on their curves. You may be surprised to know I … don't … care." Now Charis was on her tiptoes, shoving her face into mine. I loosened my grip, not wanting her to hurt her scalp, but I wasn't about to let her go so she could wiggle away now.
"You don't care." I echoed, relieved.
That was the Sloane I knew-you could always take her at face value.
"No, I damn well don't." Her face was pink and she looked no less pissed then before. "I also know that Karl is the honest one in this scenario. He doesn't pretend a fake passion for me or act like we're anything more than friends. Which is fine by me, so I would really appreciate it if you'd stop with this I'm-hot-for-you crap. You must have learned that kind of manipulative behavior from Aura. I'm not impressed. I'm going to marry your brother. There's no need to try to save me from myself by preten-"
The laughter exploded.
"What is so funny, you ass?"
"Nothing. Not a thing is funny about your intention to marry Karl, Sloane. It's just the irony here, that you're so clueless at your advanced age. I've wondered. Sure, you're practically old enough to be my grandma, but-"
Kick on my shins. Whap on my forearm. Stoically I accepted the cost of my sarcasm and finished, "-but sometimes you act like you've never even kissed a man. Case in point."
Abruptly the attack stopped.
"Is that another insult?"
"Insult? It's a fact."
"It's not a fact that I've never kissed a man. That is false."
"But it is a fact that you act like it."
"Huh." That was Charis at a loss for words.
I exhaled. Her contrariness had made me forget the cardinal rule that actions speak louder than words. With slow deliberation, I gathered up her hair and brought her higher so I could hover my mouth above hers. She smelled wonderful. I bemoaned not spending the last decade sniffing her at every chance.
"If you were a real kissing pro, old lady, you'd know I'm not even remotely faking it," I murmured, so close our breaths touched. "I mean fuck, Sloane … how can you … even … think that?" With the last word, our lips touched. When my mouth began to move, hers did, too.
That small response was encouraging. I pulled her close, and it was almost perfect, except for the cold, slick microfiber of her coat. I released her and began working on the buttons.
Without any hesitation, let me add. As though stripping off her outerwear was a normal thing between us.
It honestly didn't occur to me she'd consider it a bold move until she batted my hands away.
"What the freaking fuck are you doing?" Her voice was breathless, all out of proportion to her words.
I narrowed my eyes. Back on the street, she'd responded to my kiss. Now her thin voice told me she wasn't unaffected by me. Her reddened cheeks, her parted mouth, also reddened … fuck, the girl was in heat. She was fuckable. The signs were there. Was it the first time? Or had I missed it before?