Asher's eldest brother is Asher's opposite in almost every way. The man I'd agreed to marry is an impractical soul, a will-o'-the-wisp who never commits to anything. As long as he has enough money to travel, he seems to be happy. When he runs out, he makes more, then turns around and spends it. He's the same with his personal relationships-an absolute manwhore.
An interesting life I'd signed up for.
If I loved him, it would be a problem. I'm actually fiercely possessive about the things and people I care about. Cheating is not okay in my book.
Fortunately, love wasn't part of our arrangement.
"Well, go on," Asher said impatiently.
"So he said, I have this problem, I need to get married to receive my inheritance, and I don't have anybody in mind, so how about it, what do you say? And I said sure, why not?"
Asher stared at me. "You said sure why not."
I shrugged. "It's not like I'm about to marry anyone else. I really didn't mind helping him out. We get along fine."
"You get along fine."
"Would you stop repeating me?" Now I was getting irritated.
"Charis, who the fuck gets married to help out a friend?"
"Lots of people, I'll bet." As if I cared.
"So it's a fake marriage."
"What? No, it has to be real. It'll be a real marriage. We'll have a courthouse wedding, we'll live together, the whole deal."
"So you'll fuck him?"
I couldn't stop myself from gaping in shock that he went there. I gave him one of my severe looks. "You did not just say that to me, Asher Norrell."
Red color flooded his face. I didn't often get to see him embarrassed. I could probably count the times on one hand-hell, on one finger.
His features hardened.
Oh, shit, that's not embarrassment. He's really pissed.
"Yeah, I said it," he drawled. "You're marrying my brother. I want to know if you intend to fuck him. Fuck-him. My brother. Or have you already?"
My own face was burning now, and my chest. I felt my nipples do their nipply thing, a chronic problem with Asher's company. "You are acting extremely immature."
"So I'm the immature one. That is what you see here."
"Exactly." Oh, lord. Now he was breathing hard and leaning forward in my space. My heart pounded. Not good. Very not good. I literally couldn't think when he was this close. My brain imploded and to hide it, I screwed up my face in a frown as if I were contemplating the historical roots of Western empiricism. I rock at sneakiness.
"You accepted a marriage proposal to do a friend a favor and that doesn't sound like complete and utter feeblemindedness to you?"
"I get what you think of it," I snapped. "But you don't know everything." Oh, damn, now why did I go there?
He fell on my slip. "What don't I know?"
It takes a lot to rile me, but when I get there my temper can be hot. "You don't know my life plan," I shouted.
"Yes, I do. You're getting your degree and then-" He paused, and I jumped on his hesitation.
"Yeah, go on, and then what? It's acceptable to go without a social life for the rest of my life?"
"What the hell are you talking about? You have a social life, Sloane!"
"Yeah, friends. But I don't exactly have guys lining up out there waiting to date me, do I?" When he looked disbelieving, I yelled, "Show me! You show me a man who can hack a chick like me but isn't a complete stuffwad. The ones that like you, they only want you if you're shooting for a lucrative career. I'm talking really lucrative. Assistant professor does not qualify."
"Assistant? That's a load of-"
"You think I'm guaranteed to get tenure? Not hardly. And no, I know I don't have to get married. I wasn't really expecting to. But why shouldn't I? Huh? Your brother's a decent guy. He's-"
"Decent, hell. Karl will cheat on you the moment you step out of the courthouse."
"How could you say that about your own brother?"
"Because I know Karl. He's entering his third decade and he's never had a girlfriend in his life. He won't commit to a goldfish, let alone a woman!"
"Well, maybe I don't care! It doesn't matter anyway. It's happening. So get out of my face about it."
"Dammit, Charis. You're making a big mistake. You even know you're making a mistake. Admit it."
Oh, shit. He knew me too fucking well. "What makes you say that?" I fixed my gaze on the carpet.
"You wanna know what makes me say that?" He hustled forward, and abruptly I found myself caged in against the back of the couch by his legs and arms. "Because yesterday I tell you I've broken up my long-term relationship, and you proceed to get toasted out of your skull. It's only then that you tell me you're getting married. You know what I think? I think you're jealous."
CHAPTER 11
Three Years Ago-Secrets
Charis: Secrets. Are you good at keeping them?
Asher: I'm fantastic at it. You have a secret? Lay it on me.
Charis: Of course I have secrets. But, like, isn't the point of secrets not to share them?
Asher: You can share anything with me.
Charis: Oh, really. Anything. So like, you want me to tell you what feminine products I-
Asher: I knew it! I knew you were going there.
Charis: Do you want to know?
Asher: Sure.
Charis: What?
Asher: Sure.
Charis: O-kay. You don't mind hearing about my feminine products.
Asher: Is there an echo in here? You're a babe. You need me to go to the store for you? It wouldn't be the first time.
Charis: Oh. I forgot about your sisters.
Asher: Yeah, my sisters, too.
Charis: Oh. Oh, right. No, I didn't need, um … anyway … all that's very interesting … I'm gonna just check … oh, look, a text from Professor Constantine!
Charis
WHAT?
Fuck oh fuckery fuck fuck.
He could not know. How could he know?
"What-ah-what are you talking about?" My denial sounded so lame.
"I think you saw me and Aura and wanted what we had, or what you thought we had. You wanted a dude to be crazy about you and all the good shit women want. Romance. Passion."
I started to breathe again. "Oh, really."
"Yeah, oh, really." His tone was sarcastic. Crap, but he was sexy in this mood.
I could feel his breath, smell his spicy soap. Hopefully he couldn't read my reactions, my shuddering with waves of desire … and heartfelt relief.
Because he was way off. He'd guessed wrong.
Oh, I was jealous all right. But not of his relationship. I didn't want a relationship like he had, with all those crazy ups and downs.
No, it was Aura I was burningly, lethally jealous of. We're talking the bared teeth, unsheathed claws, fantasies of peeling her lovely freckled skin off one inch at a time brand of jealousy.
Aura, herself, is fine. A bit annoying, but not horrible or anything. She can't really help that she's irresistible.
It's the fact that Asher loves her that I hate.
Yeah, I'm kind of a wench.
Not that I've ever hinted I felt that way. It's not my place to feel jealous. I have no basis for it. We're only friends.
My feelings are my problem. Hell, he thinks of me as an older sister.
So I keep it to myself. Telling him would serve no purpose, and besides, I want him to be happy.
I really hoped he'd find that happiness with Aura. He was over-the-moon crazy about her, had been since he'd met her. If she was what he wanted, I wanted him to have her.
That was my thinking, anyway. In my selfless moods.
Sometimes I get selfish, though, and go all Evil Queen on her and wish I could poison her apple. Or at least beat her girly ass up. But as I tell my ethics students in the morality section, what we feel is one thing. What we do about what we feel is another.
It would kill me if he knew how badly I'd like to be in her place. I'd puke for a month if he expressed pity outright. So this was a secret that was going with me to the grave. (Or the urn. I'm still undecided about the best thing for my remains when my time comes. I wonder if any trace of DNA might ever be able to be extracted from charred human ashes, and if so, what would a person have to do now to-)
"So you thought, why not settle for Karl?" Asher brought me back to the issue at hand-his loony hypothesis. "Maybe he'll change. Maybe Karl will be the perfect husband despite all the evidence to the contrary. Then I go and break up with her. Come on, you said it, Sloane, we were the perfect couple, Aura and me. Obviously we were some kind of inspiration for you. Now my relationship is dead you finally see what a mistake you're making. If Aura and I had no chance as a couple, then you and Karl are dead in the water. Admit it, Char. You wimped out. And you regret it now."