As it was, I had to endure her stern lecture on throwing away the one good, solid relationship I'd ever had. I should immediately apologize to my dear, sweet Aura for whatever I'd done and beg her to take me back.
"Thanks, maybe tomorrow," I lied. "What I'm actually calling about is Charis. What's going on with her?"
This was family code for spill all the gossip immediately.
Mel wasn't spilling. "Why are you asking me? Why don't you ask her? She lives only a mile away from you."
I sighed. "Just tell me what's been happening."
"I honestly have no idea what's going on with her." From her tone, I pictured her shrugging while she worked on balance sheets. "I haven't seen her since turkey day. We're mostly out of touch these days, you know that. Why, what is going on with her, Ash?"
Annoyed, I almost hung up, but then she went on, "I guess she's throwing a party now that you're on the market again."
"I-say what?"
"It's been, how long, your entire undergraduate career? She's probably had it with being patient."
"Being patient? What are you talking about?"
"Oh, if you have to ask … "
"I have to ask. You need to put it out there, Mel. I'm not a mind-reader."
"You know, her crush on you."
I extended my arm and stared at the phone. I wanted to call her back with video. One look at her face would tell me if she was kidding.
"Mel … "
Her sigh was overdone. "Don't pretend ignorance with me, Ash. You may be a certified technogeek, and your hair is still occasionally scruffy, but even I can see you're six foot three of stone solid hotness even when you're not wearing those clingy muscle shirts of yours. They topple like dominoes when you walk by, little brother. Don't even pretend this is news."
"Who said anything about they?" I shook my head, as if she could see my exasperation. "We're talking about Charis here. Hello? Polo shirts. Long colorful hats. Has the lyrics to every single They Might Be Giants song memorized. Calls me twerp at will."
"Right. The girl you were ga-ga for when you were just a baby."
"I fucking wasn't a baby, I wa-"
"Thirteen, I know. I remember. We all remember. Do you remember how flattered she was? How flustered she got? She thought the whole thing was super awkward and asked me what to do. I told her all about young boys and older girls, it was just a phase, testosterone spraying, howling at the moon and all that."
I groaned. Not that I was surprised. But I'd just like to lay a curse on all busybody sisters.
"Well, I just thought she should understand she was basically the same as a sister to you. And she does. I mean, when she ran into you there on campus, what-when was it-"
"Freshman year," I gritted.
"Yes, then, she mentioned how much you'd grown, and you could just see her looking freaked out."
"I could?"
"Well, I could. She said it felt weird to think of herself as a sister to you, and I said that's practically what she was, and she got it. But I'm not sure she ever got it got it."
"She did," I said flatly. "She definitely got it. She uses the word 'sister' all the time. We're close. I'd know about it if there was anything more. Our friendship is platonic, always has been. It's a hundred percent non-sexual."
I was so accustomed to defining it that way over the years that the words just came automatically. But of course now everything was fucked. I was just getting used to the fact that my underlying attitude had never been that of a platonic friend, it just played one on TV.
But hers?
"Oh, sure it was always platonic, because there was Aura in the picture. You weren't available." Mel's tone said she was talking to a total dunderhead. "And Char wouldn't poach on somebody else's territory. She plays fair. Plus she isn't a fool, she knows she's not your type, bro. You go for the-" I could virtually see her making curvy motions with her hands. "-wiggly girls. I will admit she's never outright said anything. But I honestly wouldn't be even a teensy bit surprised to find out she's harboring a huge thing for you. I've seen you together, remember. You guys have this back-and-forth chemistry going, it's like Abbott and Costello. You might see plain old friendship. But I see."
My head was swimming. "What do you see?" I said roughly when she just stopped there.
"You know. The way she draws back. Whenever you and Aura go at it, you know, getting all kissy, Charis looks away. She gets more hyper when you're around. You have to be somewhat aware of what's going on. You watch her all. The time. Like you're twins or something."
"You're imagining things. We're relaxed around each other. She's the only person I can totally unwind with. I like looking at her because she's calming. Sloane's the most relaxing person I know." That much was true. Charis was blissfully relaxing, when she wasn't lying there with her panties exposed.
"If you say so. I'm just a mother with two kids. What do I know?"
Now my irritation was palpable. "I know what I'm talking about. I know women."
And what I know best about women is when a woman wants me. Flirting is a second language to me. Charis didn't flirt.
But what if a woman didn't flirt but was interested anyway? my devil pointed out.
Easy one.
Body signals.
Tight nipples. Touching. Blushing. Giggling. Smells. There were a thousand little tells.
Charis had none of the tells.
Except, said the devil, Charis wore bulky clothes that hid her body. She flushed a lot, but that was just the way she was. And she did touch me in jest, jabbing me and trying to trip me and the like, and of course all that tickling, but no way that was even remotely …
What was I doing? This was psycho. Thanks to Mel's demented assumptions, I was imagining a huge conspiracy to hide the fact that my best friend had the hots for me.
Shit, if she knew I was even wondering about it, she'd crack up. She was always making saucy remarks about my "studly tush"-and there alone was your proof. If she were coyly hiding an attraction, she wouldn't be out there about how fine my muscular ass was.
Would she?
No way. Just no way. I'd only just realized I was still hot for her less than twenty-four hours ago.
She was innocent in this fiasco. That didn't mean I didn't intend to change things around. As soon as I knew exactly what the things in question were.
CHAPTER 9
One Year Ago-Pop Quiz Fail
Charis: If you were stuck on a plane with nothing to read, what would you do? Oh, and this is a nonstop flight from New Highland to Europe, so we're talking at least nine hours. And sleeping is not a valid answer.
Asher: Are you going to Europe?
Charis: Of course not. This is a hypothetical scenario.
Asher: Right. Why would I think maybe you'd ask about a real trip? You're all about studying airplane behaviors from afar. Fuck if you'd ever board a real jetliner.
Charis: Listen, you, I don't study airplane behaviors … is that even a thing?
Asher: You tell me.
Charis: Sometimes you can be very sweet to be with. And then there are times like these. Come on. If you were stuck on a plane …
Asher: I assume I'm in first or business class.
Charis: Sure. Whatever you usually do on a business trip.
Asher: I'd watch the first two Terminator movies.
Charis: No, I mean if you can't watch video or get online or anything.
Asher: You didn't say that.
Charis: I'm saying it now. Why are you smiling?
Asher: Kiddo, what I'd do for nine hours on a transatlantic flight my momma taught me not to brag about.
Charis: No! You don't mean-
Asher: If I get to select a pretty woman to join me in my cabin, I'm all set. Hey! Go gentle on that rib, you're fucking worse than Karl. You asked.
Charis: You'd do … on a plane? Seriously, is there even a modicum of privacy? Wait, you mean the restroom … no? Anyway, remember we're talking nine hours. You couldn't possibly … for the whole nine hours.
Asher: So young. So naive. Worry not, my good child. One day you will come to me for wisdom on these matters and I will make you wise. But I can't do it alone, it must come from you, when you are ready.
Charis: Huh.
Asher
TURNS OUT I'D UNDERESTIMATED MEL and her powers of gossip. By dinner time, I'd received a series of texts and emails, peppered with about a hundred emojis, most of them from family.
Winona: Aw bro. Did I see this coming or did I see this coming? Aura wasn't right for you. Glad you saw the light and ditched the bitch. Surprise birthday party for Hunt coming up. Tres convenient. Will populate with prospies waiting in line. (Y) [thumbs-up emoji]
Douglas: WTF? I thought Aura was TPW. When I get BIT it's UN me ANOTT. [translation: What the fuck? I thought Aura was the perfect woman. When I get back in town, it's you and me, a night on the town.]