Unforgotten(79)

He’s regarding the other people in the park, completely enthralled. As though it’s the first time he’s ever seen humans.

After a few minutes, beautiful white flakes begin to dance out of the sky, falling around us, covering the ground at our feet in a fluffy white dust. Kaelen looks slightly startled as he stares upward.

“It’s called snow,” I tell him, guessing from his reaction that he’s never seen it before.

Because it’s the same reaction I had when I saw it for the first time.

Six months ago. We’d just arrived on the Pattinsons’ farm. It was early spring. The sky clouded over with gray, the temperature dropped, and suddenly out of the sky came this magnificent white powder. I spun in circles underneath it, loving how it covered my dress in tiny sparkling specks. I never wanted it to end.

It was so beautiful.

Kaelen stares blankly upward. If he finds any beauty in the frozen rain, he doesn’t express it.

“How did you find me?” I ask. I keep my voice low, barely a whisper, but I know he can hear it.

Even so, he doesn’t answer. Just keeps his gaze forward.

“Were you close enough to track me?” I guess, even though I never felt my tattoo vibrate so I know this is probably not the answer.

But again, he doesn’t respond.

I glance down at his left wrist, his own black mark peeking out from under the cuff of his shirt. “You do realize they gave you one, too.”

I see his gaze flick downward but he stays silent.

“That would imply they don’t completely trust you. That it’s possible you have the same tendencies as me. To disobey. To run away.”

“I would never disobey Dr. Alixter.” It’s the first thing he’s said since we sat down and I can tell by the way his voice slips into that eerie monotonous tone that he’s reciting one of his automated responses. Something he’s been programmed to say. Without even knowing that he’s saying it.

“Right,” I say, nodding. “Because he’s looking out for your best interests.”

His head clicks toward me. “I sense insincerity in your tone.”

I snort. “How observant.”

“Why are you being insincere?”

“It’s called sarcasm.”

“Sarcasm,” Kaelen repeats. “Used to convey scorn or insult.”

I have to laugh at how much he sounds like me when I first escaped the compound. Exactly like me, actually. And I immediately realize that they must have uploaded both of our brains with the same definitions.

“It means I’m ridiculing you,” I explain.

He faces me, cocking his head inquisitively. “Why?”

“Because you have no idea what you’re talking about! Because you’re completely brainwashed, just as I was, regurgitating everything you’ve been taught to so blindly believe. Because Alixter isn’t looking out for anyone’s best interests but his own.” My voice is rising alarmingly fast. I have to take deep breaths to calm myself down.

Silence follows. Heavy and uncomfortable. Hanging in the air like humidity.

And then, “Are you implying Dr. Alixter is a dishonest man?”

I scold myself for getting so worked up. For letting him affect me like that. My words are just wasted breath. Wasted energy. I should know there’s nothing I can do to fix him. His brainwashing is deep. Too deep. Much deeper than mine ever was. He’s already proved that to me. Alixter found whatever defect in my wiring allowed me to eventually break through the programming and see the truth. And he fixed it. In Kaelen.

The thought brings a wave of sympathy crashing down on top of me.

He was never given a choice.

Despite what they led Kaelen to believe, despite how much Alixter was able to make him feel grateful for who he is and what he’s able to do, he was never asked if he wanted to be special. If he wanted to be brought into this world in such an unnatural way. If he wanted to fight a battle that he doesn’t even know why he’s fighting.

And that’s when I realize …

Kaelen is a victim, too.

A victim of Diotech. A victim of science. A victim of Alixter’s greed.

I, at least, had someone to set me free. Kaelen has no one.

“Yes,” I say softly. This time my voice is compassionate, not bitter. Tender, not angry. Genuine, not sarcastic. “That’s what I’m implying.”

Kaelen appears to be digesting this information. I decide, knowing how his brain works, that it’s better not to give him time to process.

“Kaelen,” I say as gently as I can. “Alixter is not an ally. He’s an enemy. He doesn’t care about you. He only cares about his own agenda.”

If only I knew what that was.