Unforgotten(14)

Amazing.

I glance down at his bare shoulder, glowing faintly from the moonlight that streams in the window. Then my gaze slides along his shirtless back, drinking in the soft lines that curve and dimple around his muscles, the velvetiness of his skin, the proximity of his lips to the top of my arm.

And suddenly I have trouble breathing. I want to reach out and touch him more than I’ve ever wanted anything before. I push myself closer to him but it’s not enough. It will never be enough. I need to feel his bare skin against my own.

Just the thought of it makes my entire body glow with heat and my arms and legs start to prickle with that peculiar awareness again.

It’s the same sensation I felt outside in the forest earlier. It’s like a … need. A desperate, aching, burning need. Like my entire body is on fire and Zen is the only relief.

And then, I simply can’t take it anymore. I can’t control it. It controls me.

I roll toward him, push him onto his back, and climb on top of him. My lips crush against his. I kiss him so hard, it’s as though I’m trying to extract the very life out of him and unite it with mine.

He tastes like everything I’ve ever loved.

Zen shifts beneath me, obviously having woken up, and begins to move his mouth in rhythm with mine. Like a dance.

I feel everything in that moment. The curve of his chest, the rigidity of his hip bones, his legs between mine. It’s like my nerve endings are on fire. My senses are more alive than they’ve ever been.

With my lips still firmly secured against his, I start to pull my nightdress up. Desperately wanting to destroy it like an enemy. Rip it to shreds.

At that moment, Zen pulls away and everything comes crashing to a halt, knocking the world off balance. I feel like I’m plummeting through space with nothing to break my fall. I open my eyes to see Zen gazing at me, a confounded expression on his face.

“What are you doing?” he asks in a measured tone.

I shake my head, feeling hot and flustered and breathless for reasons I can’t explain. “I don’t know. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I just feel this crazy … urge. Like a craving. But I don’t even know what it’s for.”

Zen studies me for a moment and then his mouth curves into a huge grin and he starts to laugh.

“What?” I ask, scooting off him. “What’s so funny?”

His laughter fades quickly. “Sorry. It’s not funny at all. I’ve just been waiting a long time for this.”

I squint at him. “For what?”

“For you to feel…” He looks uncomfortable. His face even flushes. “W-w-well,” he stammers. “For you to feel ready, I guess.”

“Ready for what?”

He glances away, fidgeting anxiously with the hem of the sheet. Then, as though he’s finally gathered the courage to look me in the eye, he meets my gaze and holds it tightly. “Something that will bring us closer together. As close together as we can be.”

Yes! I immediately think. That’s exactly what I want.

The internal heat starts to glow again but I’m still confused. “I don’t understand. What is it?”

He hesitates before answering. “That’s the thing. It’s not really something I can explain. I mean, I could—” The red tint of his skin is back. “But I think I’d rather just show you. It would be more meaningful that way.”

“If it would bring us closer together, then why haven’t we done it already?”

“Well, at first you weren’t ready. Mentally, emotionally…” He stops and averts his eyes again. “Physically. I mean, I had to teach you what a hug was. What a kiss was. What a soul mate was. You knew absolutely nothing about love or the emotions that went with it.”

I smile. “You’re a good teacher.”

He chuckles. “I don’t know about that. It’s not like I’m a professional or anything. Before I met you all I cared about was gadgets and computer hacking and food. I didn’t really think about girls.” He stops, his face reddening again. “I mean, I thought about girls, I just never … you know”—he clears his throat—“anyway, let’s just say I didn’t know about this stuff either.”

“So who taught you?”

His entire face softens. “You did.”

I sigh and bite my lip. “I’m confused.”

“Sorry. I’m not being very clear. The point is, I knew you weren’t ready to do what I wanted to do. And then by the time you were ready, I didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“Why not?”

He grazes his finger over my shoulder, sending tingles everywhere. “Because I knew they would just take it away from you. Like they took everything away. Once we figured out that they were erasing your memories, I knew if we did this, it would be gone, too. And I couldn’t bear to think about that. So I decided we should wait.” He paused, releasing a heavy breath. “Until we came here.”