“I can’t believe how fast you ate that.” I giggle quietly, pressing another kiss to her cheek. I cannot get enough of this baby girl. Propping her on my chest, I burp her gently, alternating between rubbing circles and gentle taps on her back.
“I like the way a baby looks on you,” he says, his voice groggy. Matt stands in nothing but a pair of pajama pants, his shoulder pressed against the door jamb.
“Why are you up? This was my feeding.”
“I could hear you talking to Emmy through the monitor and I like watching you with her.” He walks across the carpeted floor and leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips. Emmy lets out a giant burp and Matt scrunches his nose in disgust.
“God, for how cute babies are, they sure do smell.” I can’t help but let out a laugh. He kisses me again quickly before whispering in my ear, “Get her back to sleep so we can practice making a baby.” He wags his eyebrows at me.
“I love practicing with you,” I say with a smile, still rocking Emmy.
“We’ve been practicing for a long time,” he says with a noticeable sigh. Matt and I decided to start trying to get pregnant a couple of months ago. We’ve only been married for six months, but I knew it might take some time, as my body is still adjusting and settling into itself after years of abuse, and there is always a lingering fear for me that maybe a baby isn’t in the cards for us. I pray every night that the things I did to my body won’t compromise or affect Matt and his dreams.
“Go back to bed. I’ll be there in a minute,” I whisper as I look at Emmy, whose eyes are getting heavy.
Matt and I are babysitting Emmy and her two-year-old sister, Abigail, or better known as Abby, for the weekend. This is Landon and Reagan’s first overnight trip away since Emmy was born—and I love every second of it. Both little girls are stunning with dark hair, blue eyes, and olive skin; a perfect combination of both Landon and Reagan. Abby is the light of her Uncle Matt’s eye and she rarely leaves his side. I love watching Matt interact with the girls and my heart thrums with excitement as I think about starting a family with him.
Swaddling Emmy in her blanket, I lay her back in the crib. Her little eyelids almost immediately close. I lean over the railing and watch her little chest rise and fall through the blanket. Closing the bedroom door behind me, I pop my head into the other room, where Abby snuggles a bumblebee pillow pet to her chest and her long, dark hair splays on the pillow. I am the luckiest aunt in the world. Landon and Reagan are blessed with the most beautiful little girls I’ve ever laid eyes on. Landon loves all of his girls more than anything, and even though his hands are full with the little girls, he insists on trying one more time for a boy. Reagan is hearing nothing of the matter, and I laugh every time I see him with his arms full of little girls dressed in pink and their toys. He always thought he’d have a house full of boys.
I crawl back into bed, pulling up the sheets. Matt instantly rolls over and wraps his arm around me, pulling me into him. He nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, loudly inhaling the scent of my hair. His hand snakes under the hem of my short nightgown and his fingers trail small circles against my stomach.
“Mrs. Kennedy, do you realize we’ve been married for one hundred and eighty-three days and almost nine and a half hours.”
“I love when you call me Mrs. Kennedy.” I press a light kiss to his chest. “And how do you know how many days we’ve been married?” I wiggle in his arms and manage to turn toward him.
“Because I will never forget one minute that you’re mine.”
“I’ve always been yours,” I say softly. “Always.”
“I know, but every day that I wake up and have you next to me is the best day of my life.”
“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” I push myself up and swing my leg over his waist, straddling him. He pushes my nightgown up and positions my hips directly over him.
“Let’s practice,” he says with a devious smile pulling me onto him. I’ve known Matt’s been anxious to start a family, but I wanted to settle into married life before jumping into parenthood, and he has been completely understanding and supportive of this. The last year and a half has been a whirlwind for us. The most challenging part for me was getting settled back into my career while finding a delicate balance that supports my priorities of sobriety and putting my family first.
We spend the next thirty minutes making love. I’ll never get enough of him. I close my eyes as the clock turns to four seventeen in the morning. Just as I doze off, Emmy starts squealing through the baby monitor. I barely remember muttering “your turn” before feeling Matt crawl out of our bed.