Unforgiven(65)

“I’m all set,” I say quietly, and all three of them turn to look at me. Reagan jumps up from her seat and heads towards me, so I step back inside and open the door for her. “Let me just get my purse and we’ll head out.”
I pull myself back inside the house and close the door. I walk toward the front door and wait for Reagan, when Landon and Matt come walking over. Matt has his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans and his head down. He stands back further into the living room while Landon walks over and pulls me into a hug, his embrace so tight I can hardly breathe. In this moment, I become that scared little girl that he used to hold when our world was crumbling around us and I break down and sob. I cry because I’m scared—I’m scared I won’t be strong enough. “Don’t cry, Linds.” Landon tries to comfort me.
“I’m so scared.” My voice shakes as I tell him.
“The hardest part is over,” he says softly. I pull out of his embrace and wipe the tears from under my eyes. I notice Matt has stepped back even further, allowing Landon and me some privacy. “I’ll take your suitcase to the car. Call when you get there and every chance you can, okay?”
“Okay,” I promise, nodding. Reagan comes down the hall with her purse in hand.
“Ready?”
“Yeah,” I sigh as she opens the front door and walks out. I glance over to Matt, whose head is still down and his hands are still stuffed in his pockets. “Have a great trip, Matt,” I say quietly and step through the front door and onto the steps. I’m about halfway down the steps when I hear his somber voice.
“Linds?” I stop and turn around, meeting his dark brown eyes. He looks at his old hat that I’m wearing, then his eyes meet mine.
“Yeah?”
“Good luck.” I can feel myself on the verge of another round of tears, so I nod my head and whisper a quiet “Thanks” before turning around and taking the rest of the steps down to the waiting SUV. Landon closes the car door and leans in the window.
“I mean it, Lindsay. Call.”
“I will, I promise.” Reagan puts the car in drive and we take off for Raleigh.
 

 
Reagan drops me off and we say our goodbyes quickly to keep from crying. We were both awkwardly silent on the two-hour drive with our emotions simmering at the surface. As a doctor, she’s familiar with the rehabilitation process and told me what I could expect. She was spot on. The first hour was check-in and paperwork followed by a luggage inspection, and then a thorough physical and mental evaluation. To say I’m already exhausted and it’s not even noon would be an understatement.
I am finally assigned a room and follow the counselor down a long hallway to the last door on the left to meet my roommate, Samantha. She’s young, nineteen, and from a small town just outside of Wilmington. She’s pretty in a unique, plain kind of way, with long, jet-black hair and gray eyes. She’s quiet and keeps her nose tucked into a book while I unpack.
There is a regimented schedule here that we must follow and it’s now lunchtime. Samantha walks me to the cafeteria, where there is a limited variety of food choices, but since I’m not only being treated for drug addiction, I have a special diet prescribed by the nutritionist. A tray labeled with my name sits waiting for me, taking the guessing out of what I would have chosen. We sit at a small, round table and eat quietly when Samantha finally opens up.
“I’ve seen you on TV,” she says quietly, her gray eyes scanning the cafeteria to see if anyone is watching us. I turn to see what or who she’s looking at. No one is paying us any attention. In fact, I think there are less than twenty of us total in this rehab center. I smile at her and nod my head.
“Seems like a lifetime ago.”
“You’re not on TV anymore?”
I shake my head from side to side. “Not anymore.”
“You were really good. I almost didn’t recognize you, though, when you walked in. You’ve gotten really skinny.”
“Part of the reason why I’m here,” I admit. “That, and pills.”
She smiles a crooked little smile. “I did whatever I could get my hands on. Pills, booze, smack…” My eyes widen in disbelief. “For a preacher’s daughter, I didn’t say no to anything.” I remain quiet and eat slowly. I decide to change the subject. I’m not sure I want to learn everything about Samantha on my first day here.#p#分页标题#e#
“So what do you read? I saw your nose stuck in that book all morning while I was unpacking.”
“I love romance.” she smiles. “I love when the girl gets the guy or the guy gets the girl. I want that someday. Someone who will fight for me.” I swallow hard when I think of Matt and how I actually had that, but I was selfish and let it go.