“When are you leaving?” I ask Landon, my voice shaking a bit. I clear my throat, trying to regain my composure. The thought of everyone leaving all at the same time has me suddenly shaken.#p#分页标题#e#
“Whenever you want me to,” Landon says. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.” I turn to Jess, who sits at the end of my bed, her long hair tied up in a messy ponytail. Her bright green eyes pop against her tan skin and dark hair. She’s truly beautiful, inside and out.
“When do you have to leave?” I ask Jess. Her eyes shift to Landon, who looks back at her and nods.
“We’re headed back tomorrow,” she says quietly. “It’s just better if I’m out of the way. You and Landon have a lot…”
“To figure out,” I interrupt her. “I know. In fact, I’ve made a few decisions already.” Landon watches me carefully, letting me take my time to speak. Jess sits quietly and focuses all of her attention on me.
“I’m going home. I’m leaving the job. Phoenix. Everything. I’m coming home and getting myself into treatment. When I took this job in Phoenix, I thought I was finally doing something for myself, accomplishing goals I had set, yet little did I realize I was only hurting myself. I was leaving the things that truly make me happy—my family, Matt, North Carolina. I was fleeing from the things that keep me grounded for a career that was sucking the life out of me. I want to go home to the things that make me truly happy, but in order for that to happen, I know I need help first.”
Jess looks at Landon again and they share a look. “Why do you two keep looking at each other like that?”
“Go ahead.” He nods at Jess. She takes a deep breath and slides up closer on the edge of my bed before she begins.
“Linds, Matt was here.”
“What do you mean was?”
“He left. He went back to North Carolina.”
“Okay…” I say, prodding for more information, when Landon jumps in.
“We went to your condo to make sure there were no more pills. When we were there, he saw something that upset him—enough that he decided it was best he didn’t come to see you here.”
“What did he see?” I ask frantically. I can’t think of anything at my place that would upset him. Landon shrugs and Jess sits with her eyes downcast.
“What did he see, Jess?”
“It doesn’t matter. We just thought you should know he was here and why he’s not now. We didn’t want you blindsided…”
“What did he see?” I scream at both of them. The blood pressure cuff attached to my left arm begins inflating and I rip the stupid thing off my arm.
“The condoms,” Jess whispers. “He counted them. And a picture of you and Jonah.”
“I need to be alone right now,” I tell both of them angrily. Landon reaches out to help Jess off the bed.
“We’ll be just down the hall,” Landon tells me. I roll over into the fetal position again and cry myself to sleep.
“Lindsay, wake up.” I hear Jess’ voice urging me awake. My eyes flutter and adjust to the dark room, the only lights coming from the monitors attached to me. “I’m so sorry to wake you up,” she whispers and sits down in the chair next to me. My entire body aches as I roll onto my back and look at the dark ceiling. Anger roils through me as I remember what Jess told me earlier.
“I just wanted to come in and say goodbye,” she says quietly.
“Bye,” I snap at her.
“Lindsay, I’m so sorry…”
“Sorry isn’t going to help me,” I burst out.
“I didn’t want…”
“Get out of here,” I snarl.
“Lindsay!” Landon yells at her from the door. “Stop it.”
Jess stands up from the chair she was sitting in and the light from the hallway allows me to see the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles before walking toward Landon and disappearing outside the door with him. The door snaps shut, but I can see both of them through the long, glass window that encases the door on one side. Landon stands, comforting her. A brief wave of guilt washes over me, but it disappears just as quickly when I see him hugging her and her head buried in his chest.
“Bitch,” I mutter to myself and roll back onto my side so I don’t have to see them together. I’m hardly comfortable in this miserable bed and, within seconds, the door flies open, the light flickers on, and Landon darts across the room to my bed.
“Don’t you ever talk to her like that again,” he yells at me. “You’re acting like a selfish little brat.” The vein in his neck throbs as he stares at me. His jaw muscles flex as he grinds his teeth in anger.