I hear the door to my room squeak open, but I don’t bother to look. I close my eyes and chew on my bottom lip as I hear the footsteps slowly approach my bed.
“She doesn’t even look like herself.” I hear the familiar voice. My brother. My protector. The only person who understands and fully accepts what a mess I am.
“Lan?” I ask quietly, turning toward his voice. He stands next to Jess with his arm around her shoulders and they both look down at me. Jess’ eyes are full of unshed tears and Landon looks tired.
“I’m here,” he says, releasing Jess and leaning down to hug me. I roll onto my back and wrap my arms around his neck tightly and begin to sob again. Aside from Matt, Landon is my safe place. He’s always looked out for me and, no matter what, he was there for me—always. “Shh… I’m here,” he says again as I cry into his shoulder.
“When did you get here?” I ask between sobs.
“This morning. Jess called me last night.” It’s so strange to see him standing next to Jess again. There was a time when all I wanted was them to work through whatever it was they were going through. I wanted Jess for my sister. I believe that everything in life happens the way it’s supposed to, and I cannot wait for him to marry Reagan. Jess is happy with Gabe, and regardless of the fact that she’s not my sister by blood or marriage, she will always be my sister through friendship.
“Why didn’t you let us know how bad things were?” he asks me, finally relaxing his grip on me and releasing me from his hug.
“I didn’t want you to worry,” I admit. “I made this decision and I had to live with the consequences.”
“I will always worry about you,” he says, tousling my hair. “That’s what family is for. To lean on each other in the hard times.” He sighs. “Lindsay, if there is one thing I learned about us early on, it’s that life is always going to throw us a curveball. Nothing will ever come easy for you and me. That’s just how the universe works for us. But if there is one thing you can ever trust or believe in, it’s that, no matter what, I will always be here for you. Always.”
Jess stands behind Landon, who is sitting on the edge of my bed, holding my hand. She wipes tears from her eyes as she listens to Landon.
“I’m so sorry, you guys,” I tell them, my lip trembling. “I thought I had it under control in the beginning. They just helped take the edge off,” I say, my voice trailing off. “But then, I started using them to numb the pain.”
Jess sits in the chair next to the bed and Landon stays sitting on the edge of my bed. We all sit in silence until Jess addresses the elephant in the room.
“Lindsay, you have to get help.”
“I know. I was planning on it before you even said anything.” It’s so hard to admit you have a problem, especially to the people you love the most.
“I’ve never been so afraid of losing you,” Jess chokes out. “You scared me so bad last night, Linds.”
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her through the falling tears. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m so thankful I did, Lindsay. I kept thinking what if this had happened when no one was around to help you?” Jess warns. I nod. She’s right. I’m very lucky I wasn’t alone. The door opens again and a lab technician and a nurse enter. Landon leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek.
“I’m going to take Jess and get her something to eat. We’ll be back in just a bit.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I sigh, showing him my arm, which is attached to the IV stand.
Four vials of blood drawn, two additional nurses, and two doctors later, Landon and Jess return. Landon carries a tray of hospital food and sets it on the bedside table next to me.
“How do you feel about chicken broth, Jello, and apple juice?” Landon quips.
“Like they’re trying to starve me,” I tease.
“Bad joke, Linds,” Landon grumbles, and I roll my eyes. Jess sits at the end of my bed and watches me as I take a sip from the small, plastic container of apple juice. Surprisingly, the cool, sweet juice tastes like heaven. In three swallows, I finish the juice and see Jess crack a small smile.
“So, it looks like I have to stay another day or two,” I casually mention. “They’re making me see a psychologist before they’ll release me.”
“Good,” Jess interrupts me. “Sometimes, talking to a neutral third party helps you see things and evaluate things without prejudice. I still talk with a counselor for some of the issues I am working through.” She looks at Landon, whose eyes drop from hers to the floor.