Unforgiven(43)

“I missed you too,” I admit. And I have. Jess was my only girlfriend in Wilmington. My friends from high school moved away for college and never came back. When I returned after graduating, I dove head first into my internship at WXZI and it was me and Jess. I hear a man clear his throat and Jess pulls out of our embrace.
“Oh my gosh. Lindsay, this is Gabe. Gabe, Lindsay.” He sets down the two bags he’s carrying and reaches out his tan hand to shake mine. Gabe is tall and gorgeous with dark brown hair and almost golden eyes that stand out against his tan skin and dark lashes. He’s striking—and muscular. I notice his arms flex as he shakes my hand. I realize I’m standing in a silk bathrobe and I make sure I’m covered and tighten the belt on the robe. I catch Jess looking around the messy condo and she looks back tentatively to Gabe.
“Sorry for the mess. I’ve been so busy at the station this week that I just haven’t cleaned up.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Jess smiles. “I’ll help you.” She sinks into Gabe’s arms and gives him a quick hug and kiss and all but shoves him out the door. I smile as I watch her assure him she’ll be fine and will call him later.
“I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since we’ve seen each other,” Jess says as she kicks off her shoes and sits down on the couch. She pulls a throw pillow into her lap and tucks her feet underneath her. She’s exactly as I remember her; casual and stunning. Then, when I sit opposite of her, I take in how much she’s changed since the last time I’ve seen her. She looks older, but better. She’s gained a little weight, but in a healthy way.
“So talk to me; what are you doing these days?” I ask, curious to catch up with my old friend.
“A little of this, a little of that. I’ve been teaching some online classes. English,” she says, “And also taking some classes in social work.”
“Social work?” I question. “That’s a far cry from broadcast communications.” She nods her head and twists her fingers around each other.
“I don’t know if Landon ever told you…”
“He never told me anything about you two,” I interrupt her. She looks away from me, her attention focused on the mantle that hangs above the gas fireplace. “I’m not sure exactly what went down with the two of you, but Jess, he loved you and respected you. He never discussed what happened.”
“Nothing happened,” she sighs, “except he helped me find myself again when I was lost,” she says quietly. “I was in a pretty dark place, and I’ll never be able to repay him—for loving me the way he did.” Her voice cracks.
“What happened, Jess?” I shift on the couch and pull a pillow into my lap.
“So much.” Her voice trails off. The smile on her face slowly fades. “We’ll talk—before I leave, but not right now. I just got here and I want to see this amazing condo and hear about you.” She clears her throat and swallows down her emotions. “I mean, look at this place, Lindsay. Holy shit,” she says, trying to sound excited.
I can’t help but smile. “I know. I’m so embarrassed by the mess, though,” I stand up and begin picking up all the throw pillows that are all over the floor. I arrange them neatly on the couches and the oversized chair.
“I don’t care about the mess. Tell me about you. How’s Matt?” And there it is. A knife directly to the heart.
“Ah, we’re not together anymore.” I stand up straight and turn around.
“What?”
“Yeah, we decided long distance wasn’t our thing.”
“Christ, Lindsay.” She places her hand on her heart and her face twists into a frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s hard. So hard,” I admit.
“How’s he handling it?”
“Not well. I’m pretty sure he hates me.” I rearrange the pillows on the couch again so I can avoid looking at her.
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“No, I’m pretty sure he does.”
“When’s the last time you talked?”
“He called me a couple of weeks ago. It was short. Formalities.” I shrug.
“Well, if he called you, he surely doesn’t hate you.” I sit down next to Jess on the couch and fold my hands into my lap. Thank goodness the Oxy has kicked in and I’m no longer shaking or nauseous.
“I made the biggest mistake taking this job,” I admit to my friend.
“No, Linds, don’t say that. It’s scary and new and you’re navigating this alone. Be proud of your accomplishments.”