Unforgiven(30)

“Excuse me.” I choke on the water. “You really don’t know anything about me.”
“Exactly. I want to, though, Lindsay. I want you to tell me why you’re so angry, and I want to see the funny Lindsay we talked about this morning.” I roll my eyes, more so out of habit, but also because I don’t want to share the ugly parts of me.
“What do you want to know?” I ask, my voice flat.
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“Pitch Perfect.”
He laughs.
“What’s so funny?” I ask him.
“Nothing. That’s a good answer,” he says and continues to chuckle.
“What else?” I ask him, prompting him to move on.
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Gray.” His forehead scrunches together, seemingly not buying my answer.
“What’s your favorite animal?”
“I don’t have one. I’ve never had a pet.”
“You’ve never had a pet?” I shake my head. I’m not about to get into my fucked up childhood with Jonah. I can barely take care of myself, let alone an animal.
“Tell me about your dreams.” He twirls his empty wine glass while paying close attention to me.
“My dreams?” I question him. “I don’t dream. I’m usually too tired.”
“Not those dreams, Lindsay. The dreams you think about when you’re alone. When you catch yourself daydreaming. What do you want to do before you die? Those dreams.”
Our waiter returns with the bottle of wine just in time. He uncorks the bottle and swishes a small amount in a glass for Jonah to taste. Jonah approves and the waiter fills our glasses and disappears just as quickly as he arrived.
“So where were we?” he asks as he sips his wine. “Dreams.” He smiles across the table at me.
“Dreams,” I repeat quietly. “I don’t know that I have any,” I tell him.
“Oh, come on. Everyone has a dream, Lindsay.”
“Well, then. Tell me one of yours?” I turn the tables on him. If I can keep him talking, I can avoid talking about me.
“I want to be a charitable entrepreneur, but I don’t want to work in a stuffy little office. I want to travel to third-world countries and help those who don’t have medical care, or basic human needs—all while getting to see the world at the same time.”
“That’s an amazing dream,” I admit. Here I thought he was just a little rich kid who liked to get high on Daddy’s money. He sips some more wine, and I play with the stem of my wine glass.#p#分页标题#e#
“So what’s your dream, Lindsay?”
I pick up the wine glass and press it to my lips, letting the cool white wine slide down my throat. It pools in my belly, spreading a warmth that starts in my abdomen and quickly spreads to my legs and arms.
“It might sound funny, but I’ve always wanted a real family.” I toss back the rest of my glass of wine as his brown eyes pierce mine. He’s quiet as he watches me, and I shift in my seat nervously.
“Then a real family is what you’ll have—if you want it badly enough.”
The rest of dinner is less stressful. Our serious conversation turned into light-hearted discussions of local news and the insane political environment in the state of Arizona.
“This state is a fucking madhouse,” I say, telling him about my interview this last week with the craziest politician I’ve ever encountered. “Who elects these people? I just don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get, Lindsay. Politics is the evil of the world, run by money and idiocracy.”
“No shit,” I admit. We then toast to the idiots that run the state of Arizona and our hopes for better elections in November. We laugh and enjoy dinner and each other’s company, even taking a selfie together with our glasses of wine. I feel good—happy, even if it’s medicated and temporary.
“Let’s go have dessert.” Jonah stuffs a wad of cash in the black folio on the table and rises, helping me out of my chair.
The ride home is quiet, but I catch Jonah watching me out of the corner of his eye. We pull into the parking garage and he hurries around the car to open the door for me. He reaches for my hand, and I let him hold it, leaning into him just a bit to steady myself. Mixing the pills with the wine was probably not a great idea and I’m really starting to feel the effects of it. My feet feel heavy and I can tell I’m leaning into him as we walk down the hallway to my condo.
Jonah opens the door and turns on the kitchen lights as I kick off my heels and pull a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Want one?” I ask as I twist off the cap and drink.