Unforgiven(22)

I glance at the time on my phone and assume he’s at work. It’s noon in Wilmington and, if I was home, I might be meeting him for lunch right now. My stomach turns as I wonder who he meets for lunch now.
“Hello?” Mike says, snapping his fingers in front of my face to get my attention. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry… just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”
“I could see that. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories,” he says as we scoot forward in the seemingly never-ending line for Starbucks.
“No. No bad memories. Just remembering…” I trail off.
“Want to talk about it? I’m a great listener.”
“I left him to take this job,” I say quietly, trying to keep my emotions at bay. “I love him more than anything in the world, but I left him very selfishly to take this job.”
“Why do you say ‘selfishly’? Don’t you deserve to be happy, even if that comes in the form of a job opportunity across the country?” Mike questions me.
“I suppose, but I think I might have been happier if I had stayed in Wilmington, at the station there, and had Matt.”
“So then why’d you leave?”
I contemplate his question. It’s a question I have asked myself over and over—nonstop since I left, and I cannot find the answer. I’m not sure I have an answer. I shrug.
“I don’t know, Mike. I honestly don’t know.”
“You know, Lindsay, I’ve known you for all of what… five days now, but there is one thing I know about you. You have a great head on your shoulders. You’re smart. You’re driven. You may not have the answer today, but you’ll understand someday why you left and took this job. It might not be the answer you like, but you’ll figure it out.” He smiles at me as we approach the counter to place our order.
We wait at the end of the counter for our coffee in silence, as I get lost in memories again. Matt dragging me from our bed after our morning marathon lovemaking session and pulling me into a hot shower. He loved to take his time washing my body, then promptly pressing me against the shower wall for another quick round of lovemaking—it was his thing to do in the shower. God I miss him.
“Skinny vanilla latte?” the voice asks from behind the counter as I reach for the piping hot cup of coffee.
“Thanks.”
“You look sad,” Mike says as he casually wraps his arm around my shoulders, nudging me forward.
“I’ll be okay. It’s just really hard right now.”
“Every day will get easier.”
“You say this like you know this.”
“Sweetheart, who hasn’t had a broken heart before? Just stay positive. Oh, and don’t make plans for tonight. You’re coming out with me.”
“Out?”
“Me and a couple of friends are going to hit the town. You should come along. I promise we’re a good time,” he smirks.
“I don’t know.”
“Come on. I guarantee you every drag queen in Phoenix is going to want a piece of you.”
I can’t help but laugh.#p#分页标题#e#
“Maybe for just a little bit.”
“You’re not going to sit in that high-rise condo all alone, play Peter Gabriel songs, and mope.” He gives my shoulder a little squeeze. “And I’ve now declared it my job to make sure you love Phoenix.”
“I hate Peter Gabriel, so you don’t have to worry about that, but loving Phoenix… that’s not going to happen either,” I say bluntly.
“Well, I’m going to do my best to try,” he says.
Our walk back to the office is quiet, weighted by my somber mood.
 

 
With one swipe of bright red lipstick, I step away from the bathroom vanity and give myself a once over in the mirror. Black skinny leather pants and a silver sequined tank top with black patent-leather stilettos to complete the outfit. My long hair hangs in loose waves and my blue eyes pop with the extra dark eye shadow. My stomach flutters a little in anticipation of going out and meeting Mike and his friends.
I grab my small, black clutch and head for the front door. As I weave through the living room, I can’t help but notice how cold and lonely this condo feels, even though it has million-dollar views and would be the envy of most people my age. I miss my home. I miss my home with Matt.
Pressing the elevator button, I wait patiently and pick at my fingernail. A shrill whistle sounds behind me along with the sound of a shutting door.
“Well, well, well… where are you headed?” Jonah sidles up next to me. I haven’t seen him since Monday night when we had wine.
“Out,” I answer him curtly. There is something about him, an innocence that I’m drawn to, but something inside me tells me I need to keep my distance.