“You’re not catching me doing anything. I know how much that drives you crazy. I do it when I want crazy shower sex. You always walk in the bathroom when I’m in the shower. All I have to do is have my dick in my hand and know you’ll be wrapping your legs around me before I get out.”
“Damn, you’re good,” I admitted, not even feeling the crimson flood my face. We’d talked about so much kinky sex with Deidra, it really didn’t bother me.
“The best,” Drew snidely remarked.
Deidra laughed at us. “Okay, Drew. You were saying how much in love you were with Morgan,” she beckoned for us to stop being rivalries.
“Oh yeah, my life was more than I’d ever thought it could be. Morgan was the reason for that. She truly was my whole world, and I would have poisoned her food everyday if there’d been a magic potion that would have kept her from remembering. Her remembering ate at me like nothing else. It consumed my days and nights. I’d lie awake watching her sleep, feeling remorse for all that I’d done to her, all that I’d taken away, and all that I’d kept her from experiencing for years.”
Chapter 30
“There was so much that she missed because of me. I never took her to a movie, a Broadway show, on a vacation, a honeymoon. She never had a girlfriend to shop and talk girl stuff with, do their nails, and complain about her man. I’d deprived her of everything she should have been experiencing.
I stroked her hair while I watched her sleep. Her sleep was usually troublesome and she’d wake up and take something to get back to sleep. This was the part that haunted me most. Just like it always started, she tossed her head from side to side, moaned in her sleep and breathed quick, short breaths. Sometimes I could kiss her forehead, shush her, and soothe her nightmares away. Sometimes I couldn’t.
‘I’ve got you, baby. You’re okay,’ I soothed, holding her tight. This was one of those times I couldn’t stop it. She clung to me, calming her breathing, trying to talk herself down.
‘Drew,’ she mumbled panicked and scared.
‘I’m here. You’re okay.’ I would comfort her over and over,” Drew spoke, looking at Deidra, “Morgan wasn’t okay. I made Morgan not okay. I had to come clean with her. I had to tell her everything regardless of the outcome. I had to tell her.”
“You were going to tell me, Drew?” I asked, not knowing this. Why hadn’t he ever told me this?
“Yes, I was going to tell you right before you remembered,” he said, turning to me and then back to Deidra. “I thought about it the whole time I was away from her on my next trip.” Drew continued, getting back to his story with Deidra as if I wasn’t in the room.
Why did he do that? Grrrrr.
“I was going to tell her when I got home that day. I’d send Marta away for the weekend and get it out. I had to, it was eating me up. If she chose to leave me, I’d live with it. If she chose to disclose everything to Callaway, I’d live with it. I didn’t care anymore. I had to make it right with her one way or another.
I smiled when I watched her through the cameras lie to Marta and tell her I’d called and told her to take off for the weekend. She hummed some song that I didn’t know but knew it was familiar to her when she stopped and thought about it for a second before continuing. I was sure she was trying to figure out how she knew the country song while she prepared her surprise meal for my arrival.
I didn’t get to talk to her that night. Derik had gotten there before me, dropping off some documents that I asked him to run over to the mansion for me. I could have killed him right there. Morgan was on the floor, and he was on top of her. Rage engulfed me; I threw him off her and hooked him in the jaw. He went off, blurting shit about me putting her in her place and how I should be treating her.
‘Get out!’ I screamed over and over. He needed to leave before I ripped his head off. I couldn’t believe he touched her breast. Who the hell did he think he was?
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, pulling Morgan to her feet.
‘Yeah, I’m going to get some ice,’ she sadly said, walking away from me.
‘Morgan.’ I tried to reach her. I could tell she wasn’t so happy to see me anymore. She pulled away and left me standing. I had no idea how to handle her upset. I never cared before. I did what I knew how to do. I went to my office and worked.
I chose to go on the next trip. Things felt strained between us and I didn’t like it, nor did I know how to fix it. Maybe if I left for a couple days, she’d miss me. I’d come home, and we’d be back to normal, whatever that was.