Underestimated Too(88)

Chapter 28





“I did my best to keep Derik away from her and out of the house. I sent him on every business trip that I didn’t want to take. I hated leaving her, mostly because I hated seeing her wake afraid and alone when I wasn’t there to save her. She hated it when I left too. I did take her a couple times. She hated it. She hated the boring meetings that I had let her sit through. She hated to sit in the hotel room.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t let me leave the hotel to shop or see a movie or anything,” I complained out loud, looking to Deidra for support, thinking about the stripes on my ass from the last time I went out and did something without him.

“Needless to say,” Drew continued with a snide grin. “On the occasions that I had to go, she whined like a two year old, begging me to send Derik. The only good thing about leaving her was coming home to her. I’d get so mad at her for sending Marta away. I didn’t want her to be alone. It didn’t matter, she did it anyway and was waiting at the door for my return. Sometimes we didn’t make it away from the door before we were naked, making love on the cold marble floor.

‘Oh, my god, don’t you ever leave for five whole days again. Do you have any idea how much I missed you,’ she asked, throwing herself in my arms after a long drawn out go to hell deal that I lost. I should have sent Derik. Five days away from my wife and I come home a failure.”

That was not a good night, I remembered. He did the same thing then that he does now when he comes home after a bad day at work. Drew losing a deal was like spitting in his face. He couldn’t handle it. I’m sure it had something to do with Michael telling him what a failure he was.

“Removing her arms from around my neck, I said, ‘I need a shower.’ It wasn’t her. I was happy to see her. I was pissed off at myself. Three quarters of a million dollars and I flushed it down the drain, handing it over to Brinkley.

‘Yeah, okay,’ she said disappointed.

I tried to wash it away in the shower, to not think about it. I tried my best not to hear Michael’s voice telling me what a loser I was. It wasn’t working. I was pissed, and trying my best not to go back to the Drew that wanted to hurt Morgan. I was struggling. I was struggling so hard. She should have left me alone. She shouldn’t have pushed her luck.

‘You never quit, do you Morgan?’ I asked, turning to her sneaking in the shower with me. She was instantly frightened when I slammed her wet body against the tile.

‘What do you want?’ I asked, kissing her fiercely.

‘Drew, you’re scaring me,’ she rasped in a shaky voice.

‘You should be scared. You should be terrified of me. Why did you come in here? What do you want?’ I asked, twisting her nipple hard between my fingers.

‘I wanted you,’ she whimpered.

‘You wanted me? You wanted me to do what?’

‘Drew, stop,’ she begged.

I didn’t stop. Who the hell did she think she was? She didn’t tell me to stop. She didn’t have that power or that control. I held the control. I pulled her hair and kissed her lips right after I back handed her with my knuckles. Her tears flowed, uncontrollably while I shoved her against the wall and took her, putting her in that dark place I’d once kept her. I pounded in and out of her fighting the Y-chromosome entrenched deep in my soul. I didn’t want to be this Drew. I was hurting her. Why couldn’t I stop?”

“That’s the day I truly knew I was in love with you,” I told Drew and Deidra. “Drew hit me for the first time that day. Well, the first time that I remembered, and I still wanted him.”

Drew and I briefly stared at each other in a way that only he and I could understand before he continued, “Morgan cried, ‘Drew, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.’ I stopped and looked down at her crying eyes. I never wanted to see that again. Promising myself that was the last time. I was never hurting her again.

‘Why, Morgan? I don’t deserve you. How can you say that?’

‘I love you,’ she cried.”

Drew paused and turned away from the window. “We said I love you before, but that was the first time she’d ever said it like that.”

“Like what?” Deidra asked.

“Like she’s looking at me right now. Like I am the only person she sees. Like her whole world is me,” Drew explained. “I struck her, forced myself on her and she was telling me she loved me. We were not okay. This was not okay.” Drew resumed his position at the window, facing the alley. “I kissed away her tears and pulled out of her, saying, ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.’ Letting go of her legs, she dropped them, and I held her wet body close to me while she clung to me hopelessly.