“Okay, but I’m still going to Maine tomorrow.”
My mom shrugged her shoulders. “You’re a grown woman,” she replied, leaving me alone, alone with a deep breath and my own self-pity. How did things get this complicated?
Chapter 38
“Come here, you little monkey,” I coaxed, grabbing Nicholas around the waist after getting one shoe on him. “We’re going on the airplane,” I explained, like he had any idea what I was saying.
“Da, da,” Nicholas babbled. I didn’t even hear him open the door. It was Drew, and Nicky was going after him. He ran as fast as his little legs would let him, falling down twice to get to Drew. I wanted to run to him too. I didn’t. I stayed seated on the floor, watching. Drew picked him up and hugged him so tight. Closing his eyes while he embraced the feel of his son.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing.
“I’m not letting you go to Maine.”
“Why?” I didn’t get it. What the hell?
“You didn’t leave anything behind there. You don’t need to go to Maine.”
“You’re divorcing me. You can’t tell me what to do.”
“You’re not going to Maine.”
“You’re impossible. You don’t talk to me for two months, and then out of the blue you call me because my credit card was charged for an airline ticket to Maine? What the hell, Drew?”
“It wasn’t two months. It was fifty one days. Why do you want to go there? There’s nothing there you need to go there for.”
“I want to visit Starlight.”
“And Dawson,” Drew decided.
“I’m sure Dawson is happily married, loving his little family, unlike me.”
“Dawson is not married.”
That got my attention. “What do you mean? Lauren told me they were getting married. They had a baby girl, Starlight told me.”
“Starlight doesn’t tell you everything. Lauren left Dawson. She moved away with some guy named Joel.”
“Joel was her boyfriend before Dawson. She took the baby from him?” That made me not like my ex-best friend even more. Dawson didn’t deserve that. Dawson was a good man.
“No, she left the baby. Dawson has full custody of her.”
Now I hated her. “How do you know this?”
“I was there when we sold the house. I saw him at the coffee shop with Starlight.”
“Okay, Drew. I see what this is all about. You don’t want me going there because you know Dawson is single, and you’re afraid that we’re going to pick up where we left off. Is that it? Is that why you don’t want me to go to Maine?”
“Yes,” he quietly admitted.
“Drew, you big dumb idiot. I don’t want Dawson. I want you. I want our family back. I can’t take this. You can’t just send me to the beach house and forget us. Marriage doesn’t work that way.” I wanted to walk towards him when Nicky squirmed from his arms. Afraid of rejection, I didn’t.
“Morgan, we have never had a normal marriage and you know it.”
“I don’t care about that. It’s enough. I want us, Drew.”
“I need some time.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I need some time away from you.”
“Because you don’t want me?”
“God no, Morgan. Because I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want my son thinking that it’s okay to hurt you. I have to get some things worked out with myself before I can take care of you.”
“And that means you’re not giving up on us? You just need some time?” I asked, hoping he would say yes.
“I don’t know. I’m afraid of the next time.”
“That was my fault, Drew. I should have used our word. I shouldn’t have provoked you.”
“No words can stop me in that state, Morgan. I know what I am capable of.”
“Okay, so where does that leave us? Am I supposed to just sit around here and wait? Wait for what, Drew? I don’t even know what you’re saying.”
Drew dropped to his knees and pushed the bulky red car to Nicholas. He laughed, causing us both to smile at him.
“Drew, please don’t leave me.”
“Damn it, Morgan. Come here.”
That was all I needed. I was in Drew’s arms in half a second, sobbing at his smell, the feel of his strong arms, and the emotions that only he and I could feel.
“You can’t do this to us, Drew. We’ve come too far,” I begged.
“I need some time, Morgan. This can never happen again.”
“I’ll give you time. Just don’t give up on us. We’ll stay here, and you can come whenever you want.”