Drew had said this at least 10 times over the past couple years. This time was different. This time, I believed him. I didn’t like the reason I believed him. He was going to leave me. That’s what he was trying to tell me.
“Let’s talk to Deidra about it when we go to our next session.”
“I’ve already talked to Deidra about it. She agrees with me. She thinks we need to be apart. She doesn’t think I will ever be able to not control you.”
“You will. You’re getting better. I can tell,” I begged like a little girl afraid of losing the only thing that ever mattered to me.
Drew stood, held my face between his hands, and kissed me. “I hit you with a fucking brain injury, Morgan. Don’t you get it? I hit you with a brain injury,” he repeated like he was realizing that for the first time.
My mother and Justin came in that afternoon. It was so surreal seeing him like this. I tried my best to talk to them, sound happy, and not think about what Drew had said. Luckily they didn’t stay long. The doctor told them it was time for my meds and I’d be asleep for at least three hours.
“Take care of yourself and get out of here,” Justin smiled, kissing my cheek.
I smiled back. “You know I’m never going to get used to hearing that man’s voice come out of your mouth, don’t you? You’re supposed to be a cute little boy with seven freckles on his nose,” I teased.
“I still have three,” he teased back.
And sleep once again took over my body.
Chapter 37
I hated the first week I was home after that incident. I hardly saw Drew at all. He was avoiding me. He used the excuse of having to work late to avoid coming to bed with me. Drew made sure I took the pills that made me sleep for hours. I slept, ate, played with Nicky, and waited, waited for Drew to get over this and come to me. He wasn’t doing it.
“Drew wanted me to help you pack,” Marta said, coming into Nicholas’s room with us.
“Pack for what?”
“He said you were going to the beach house for a while.”
“I’m not.”
“Drew said the plane was going to be ready at three.”
“Marta, I’m not leaving,” I demanded, standing from the plush carpet.
“Morgan, I think you need to go.”
“You don’t know anything. I don’t pay you to think.”
“I told Drew I would make sure you were on the plane.”
“Watch Nicky,” I ordered, storming past her.
“He’s not here,” Marta called after me.
“Where is he?”
“He had to fly to Chicago.”
“He left?”
“Yes, Morgan. He’s gone. Let’s get you packed. Just go to the beach house and let things cool down. You’ll be better off there, and so will Nicholas.”
“I won’t be better off without Drew,” I fumed. She had no right. Drew had no right. He put her up to this. He couldn’t just give up on us. I wouldn’t let him. I could feel my chest tighten and the tears flow. I couldn’t breathe. Drew was throwing us away.
I didn’t pack one thing. Marta did it all. I lay in a curled ball and cried silent tears across my bed. This was really happening. Drew was really letting me go. After everything he’d done to fight for me, win me, and keep me, he was letting me go.
Marta took Nicholas with her to pack his things, leaving me sobbing for my husband. “You have an hour to get it together before we have to leave.”
I jumped off the bed as soon as the door was closed, grabbed my phone and dialed Drew. He didn’t answer. I knew he wouldn’t. I smashed the oversized phone against the door and screamed.
“DREW! I know you’re watching me! Drew! You’re not fucking doing this to us. You owe me, you son of a bitch. Don’t you fucking do this to me, DREW!” I screamed again before getting angrier. “If you let us get on that plane, you’ll never see either of us again. DO YOU HEAR ME, DREW!” I cried, dropping to my knees. “Drew, please,” I begged a desperate quiet plea.
***
Nicholas stood on my lap, patting the square window with his little hand. He loved flying. He knew when we were getting on the plane. He got so excited when we climbed aboard. I held on to him feeling broken. I didn’t know how I would function without Drew. He planned this whole thing. He was just waiting for my appointment earlier that morning with Dr. Tharp. He waited until he got the all clear before sending me away, sending not only me, his wife, but his son away as well. How could he do this?
I smiled when Nicholas turned and smiled at me, cooing da da da da. He was so innocent. He had no idea what was going on. Hell, I didn’t even know what was going on. That’s when the tears started again. Wiping them quickly away, I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to be that girl. I wasn’t going to destroy myself over a man. Drew did this. Drew let us go.