Now, Lex was exhausted. His muscles ached, and his eyes felt gritty and sore. As he rummaged in his drawer for an aspirin, he noticed a piece of paper with a familiar signature and pulled it out. The confidentiality agreement Jacinta had signed. The dry legalese mocked him now.
He closed his eyes, but the image of her burned even brighter in his mind. Her chestnut hair flowed down her back as she lifted her chin and smiled at him. Damn, why did he remember her like that? Didn’t he remember yesterday when she’d gazed at him with such contempt? You’re a sad, sad little man.
She didn’t mean that, did she? He sucked in a breath, and it felt like all his ribs were cracked. Aw shit. He was breaking up because he’d lost the only woman he’d ever loved. Yes, finally he could admit it, now that he was beaten down and alone with his thoughts. He was in love with Jacinta, but she was gone from his life, and she hated his guts.
This was far worse than the first time they’d broken up. Then, they’d barely begun to know each other because the sex had been so powerfully distracting. They had split apart because she’d put her loyalty to her brother ahead of his need to follow the rules to the letter. He had disagreed with her, but hadn’t he done the same thing by trying to protect the reputation of his father against his better instincts?
He grabbed the agreement he’d made her sign, tore it into little pieces, and fed them into the shredder. But what use was it now destroying this pathetic piece of paper, this evidence of his lack of trust in her?
Now he understood where her loyalty came from, knew she was smart, intuitive, kind, and funny. God, she was a tease the way she’d made up that story about him serenading her. That damned song was permanently engraved in his head...
Yesterday, when Jacinta couldn’t get that ring off and started hinting that they could be more, he’d panicked. Yeah, he could admit that now. He’d plain freaked out. Seeing that ring stubbornly stuck on her finger had made him lose his head and say things he didn’t mean. He didn’t know how love was supposed to work, he didn’t want to risk getting hurt, and what if she didn’t love him the way he loved her?
But what if he went to her now and asked—begged—for a second chance? Could he risk getting kicked in the teeth? Before he could think, he was already on his feet, instinct ahead of intellect.
Just then, his cell phone beeped. He answered it impatiently, but seconds later he froze as he listened in growing horror to Hazel his grandmother’s housekeeper.
Nana Alice had suffered a heart attack not long ago. Within minutes an ambulance had raced her to the local hospital near Mariposa, but now she was about to be airlifted to UCSF Medical Center, where she was due to arrive within the hour.
When the call ended, Lex slumped back in his chair. The office felt dark and cold as dread closed in on him. He was responsible for Nana’s heart attack. His inability to trust had led to that blowup in the library, which must have triggered Nana’s collapse. His hands shook as he gripped the cell phone tighter. Jacinta. If only he could call her for support, but he’d lost her. Maybe he’d lose his grandmother too. No. He drew in several deep breaths as he fought for self-control.
God help him, he couldn’t sit here whimpering like a baby. There were things to do. He forced himself to his feet and loped down two floors to Kirk’s office, where he tapped on the door. His cousin looked up in surprise from his desk.
“Lex. Didn’t expect you here.” He rose to his feet, his wariness changing to alarm. “What’s wrong?”
In a few brief sentences, Lex gave him the bad news. “I’m heading out to the hospital right away. Can you let your dad and Holly know what’s happened?”
“I’ll go with you. Dad and Holly aren’t in the office today. I’ll call them while you drive us to the hospital.” Kirk grabbed his jacket before pausing to look at Lex. “If that’s okay with you?”
Lex blinked. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were crawling in afternoon traffic. Kirk had made his calls, and now there was only thorny silence between them as Lex lane-hopped and grimaced at the banked-up cars in front of them.
“Have you told Jacinta?” Kirk suddenly asked.
Lex kept his eyes straight ahead. “No.”
“Why not? She’d want to know about Nana Alice.”
Hell. He did not want to discuss Jacinta now of all times, not when his stomach was churning and his chest felt filled with lead. But even in the middle of this crisis he couldn’t stop thinking of her, wishing for her, remembering what she’d wanted him to do. Trust your family.
Traffic had ground to a halt. Maybe this was his opportunity. Lex took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you,” he said abruptly.
“Yeah?”
“The company isn’t doing as well as we used to think. Since I took over my dad’s position, I’ve been uncovering a few tough truths. Basically, my father was covering up for our falling profits by overinflating the value of some of our assets.”
He went on to outline what he had discovered in the past few months, not skimping on the details. At the end of his explanation, he waited for his cousin’s reaction.
Kirk drummed his fingers on the armrest. “So we need a fresh injection of capital. And we need to get our books in order before we renegotiate our bank loans. Might be some short-term pain, but that can’t be avoided.”
Lex’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t expected his cousin to go straight to the possible solutions. The traffic began to move again, and he eased out the clutch.
“Aren’t you going to criticize my dad’s dishonesty? And me hiding it from everyone?”
Kirk frowned. “Yes, your dad was reckless and stupid, but I understand why you tried to cover up for him. It’s the same reason why your dad covered for mine when he almost bankrupted the foundation. Family loyalty. It makes us do stupid things, huh? Even though our dads didn’t get along, they stood by each other. And even though you had problems with your dad, you couldn’t bring yourself to expose his failings.”
Lex jerked his head up. “You knew about my problems with Dad?”
“How blind do you think I am?” Kirk lifted his eyebrows. “I don’t know how you put up with all that pressure he used to lay on you. I was kind of glad he didn’t pay me much attention, though paradoxically, I hated being ignored and pushed aside.”
“Huh.” Lex eyed his cousin closely. “What about the fact that I didn’t trust you or Holly or Uncle Ralph?”
Kirk lifted his shoulders. “Listen, I was angry yesterday. We all were. But I realize now you had your reasons for suspecting it was one of us. Hell, I’d never have guessed it was Nancy Bird in a million years.”
“I’m not too keen on taking her to court, not after what my dad did to her.”
Kirk nodded. “I agree. We don’t need the bad publicity, especially now.” He hesitated. “Uh, there’s something I need to get off my chest. Something you won’t like.”
“Go ahead. Seems today is the day for bad news.”
Kirk cleared his throat. “The thing is, a few weeks ago I was going through a bad time. I was sick of you treating me like I was incompetent. I thought you didn’t want me back at all.” He shifted in his seat. “So I approached another company about a possible job.”
Lex narrowed his eyes at his cousin. “VHL?”
Kirk gaped. “You knew?”
“Lucky guess.” Not for anything in the world would he admit he’d had his cousin’s emails monitored. But at least he hadn’t read any of them, because deep down he’d wanted badly to trust him. And his instinct had been right. “So what happened?”
“I exchanged a few emails with the CEO, but in the end I couldn’t do it. Our company and this family still mean a lot to me.” Kirk’s mouth turned down at the corners. “It was a crappy, underhanded thing to do. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“Hey, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. Just look at me.”
Kirk nodded slowly. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
“Me too.” Lex cleared his throat. “Should have had it years ago.”
Kirk dragged a hand over his face. “You, me, Holly, Dad—we’re to blame for Nana’s heart attack. All that drama yesterday must have stressed her out.” His voice lowered. “She’s going to be all right, isn’t she?”
“Hell yeah,” Lex answered roughly. He had to believe that. He stepped on the gas. Thank God the traffic was thinning. The hospital wasn’t far now. “She’s tougher than she looks.”
Kirk nodded. “She’s survived a lot. And she won’t want to miss anything now you and Jacinta are tying the knot.”
The leaden weight in Lex’s chest re-formed, and he could only manage a grunt.
Why hadn’t his cousin guessed that his reunion with Jacinta had been a complete sham? And then he knew why—he hadn’t been faking it. All along, subconsciously, he’d wanted the reunion to work.
Maybe it could still work. Half an hour ago, he’d been on his feet, ready to charge after Jacinta when the call about his nana had come through. His heart thudded painfully. He couldn’t lose either one of them. For Nana Alice he’d have to put his faith in modern medicine, but for Jacinta it was all up to him.