It was close to eight and the shop was dead, Dex still hadn't come out from his office and Blake had disappeared a few minutes before, when the urge to pee struck. I beelined toward the restroom, ignoring the open call of Dex's office as I did my business and closed the door on my way out, thinking of when I could ask Dex at what time I could take a break. I'd brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my purse and—
"Even a fuckin' idiot can figure out how to do it."
The tile floors carried the not-so-quiet conversation down the hall. I recognized the deep baritone voice as Dex's and my stomach revolted.
There was a laugh. His. "I don't give a shit if she's hot. I'm not lookin' to get my dick wet. I need to get shit done around the shop that I don't like doin'," he snickered. "How hard is it to find a reliable bitch to help out around here?"
I froze for a split second right there in the hallway. The words seeped into my pores, rejuvenating my blood cells and apparently my tear ducts as well.
He thought I was a fucking idiot? All because I asked him a simple question?
I wasn't stupid. I knew that. Knew it without a doubt. I hadn't gone to school any more because I couldn't afford it, not because I wasn't smart enough. And while I'd worked for a boss that was an asshole back at the cruise line, he wasn't an unfair asshole. He was simply an overzealous, hardworking asshole.
He'd never upset me though, and here I was. Standing like a pathetic fool that wanted to cry. Then again, I always wanted to cry. I cried when I was happy, sad, excited, and frustrated with life. And I hated it. Especially now.
Because I shouldn't let shit like Dex's skewed opinion bother me. I needed a paycheck like I needed my next breath. I shouldn't care what one delinquent biker thought about me as long as he paid me, right?
Right. Why did it feel like I'd gotten stabbed in the gut, though?
Chapter Four
I checked my bank account at least three times after overhearing Dex's one-sided conversation. Unfortunately, the amount that showed up on my screen stayed the same each time.
Seventy-eight dollars and thirty-nine cents cemented my fate.
I needed gas, I wanted to buy some groceries so that Sonny wouldn't have to buy them again, and I had to pay my cell phone bill in two weeks. None of that was even including the credit card I'd run up on the drive over to Texas when I'd stopped for gas. Did I have a choice? Not really.
The only option I had was to bite back the ugly feeling that continually swam up the back of my throat when I thought of Dex's harsh words. Was this what I'd sunk to? I mean, the universe couldn't be that cruel.
It couldn't be. There was no way that a handful of surgeries had led me to work for a man that called me a fucking idiot. I wasn't even going to touch his use of the word 'bitch'.
Don't cry, Iris.
Sacrifices were necessary sometimes, I knew that. After Dad had left, we'd moved from a house into an apartment. Downgraded the car. Quit going out to eat. And that was all before the universe and all its assurances of having a happily-ever-after went supernova on me. Life was hard sometimes and there was no book or movie that could prepare you for how harsh it could be.
Except maybe that zombie television show where everyone died. That was pretty accurate.
If it were Will who had found me the job, I wouldn’t have a problem shooting the finger at this place and walking out. I knew he’d forgive me if I made him look like a douche bag. He owed me for busting my butt to feed him and keep him clothed for years. But Sonny? God.
I wanted to leave. Whether it was Pins and Needles, or Austin altogether at that point, I wasn’t sure, but the urge to flee was right on the horizon. Why hadn't I just gone up to Cleveland with Lanie?
This terrible feeling of embarrassment didn’t work for me. Then again, I’d made the commitment to work here, and I really needed the money. Like so badly I was desperate to see just one more digit in my bank account balance.
My pride wasn't going to pay my bills.
But finding another job would.
“What’s up, new girl?”
I looked up to see Blake coming into the shop with a brown paper bag in one hand.
I’m sure my smile was shaky because my hands were still trembling. I was nauseous too, and I was still seriously considering bolting. Knowing that Sonny worked around the corner if I needed anything, and that I needed a paycheck badly, were the only things that kept me in my seat. “Hey, Blake."
"You got some lunch in?" he asked, coming to stand right in front of the desk.
Lying, I nodded because it was all I had in me. The peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich I'd made that afternoon was still sitting in my purse.