It wasn’t enough. Her experience with Kyle had taught her that. Duty wasn’t enough. She wanted—needed—love.
She craved Nicolai’s love. And to quote the immortal words of Shakespeare, therein lies the rub.
She wanted him to love her for herself. Wanted him to need to save her because he couldn’t imagine existing without her. After everything she’d lived through—her father’s abandonment, her mother’s decades-long torch for a man who would never return, Kyle’s abuse and betrayal—the thought of happily ever after and eternal fidelity should’ve made her laugh then gag in disgust.
But she believed in fairy tales, hippogryphs, loup-garous and…she believed in love.
Did it make her selfish to want her prince to battle the dragon and rescue her for no other reason than love?
Yes.
Yes, it did.
Because if she denounced the mating, if she walked away from Nicolai and chose her fantasies of love over him, her death would be another burden for him to bear, another stain on his soul. Because she loved him with every fiber of her being, she couldn’t consign him to that hell.
She loosened her arms and they fell to her sides. Her body remained motionless even as she teetered on the edge of a great precipice.
On one side stretched the normal, steady, familiar life she had known and desired for three years.
On the other yawned a wide, obsidian chasm. In its unknown depths lay a future with Nicolai, scary, unfamiliar and uncertain.
Tamar inhaled. Closed her eyes. And stepped out into the abyss.
A sensation like the downy touch of wings enfolded her, keeping her afloat, keeping her safe. Nothing was guaranteed. Not tomorrow, not the life she’d yearned for. And the bottom line came down to this—she’d rather have a future where she woke up to Nicolai every morning, touched him, made love to him, than the ordinary, mapped-out existence she had always envisioned as the ideal.
Nicolai had proven over and over during the last few days that he placed her safety and protection above all else—even his life. He cared for her, definitely wanted her. Maybe one day, he would love her.
Damn it, she was willing to take a chance on him.
On them.
Love jimmied her heart open wide enough for hope to sneak in. With a smile, she wheeled around and headed back in the direction of the cabin.
Fuck Kyle. Fuck Fate. And fuck normal.
She’d convinced herself she’d fought these past three years for a safe, average existence when she’d been fighting to hide from what life had to offer. If she never risked trusting or loving another person, she wouldn’t end up in another horrible relationship. Fear had become her safety net…and her jailer.
Well damn it, she was instigating a prison break.
“This seems almost too easy. I’m a bit disappointed.”
The low melodious voice reached her seconds before she spotted him among the trees. Tall, lean and as gorgeous as he’d been that night outside the restaurant. And as evil.
Evander stepped from the cover of the trees, his malevolent form a profane blot on the golden, innocent forest. She wouldn’t have been surprised to see the grass shrivel and blacken under his feet as he moved closer.
Her heart kicked hard against the wall of her chest, a frantic, anxious animal that smelled evil’s foul stench and fought to escape its presence.
“Evander,” she said, shocked and pleased her voice was steady instead of shaking like her insides.
He tilted his dark head to the side and a smile, beautiful and horrible, curved his sensual lips. “I see my reputation precedes me,” he drawled, gliding another foot closer. Tamar retreated and his onyx eyes glittered, appearing amused by her aversion. “Then again it’s not like this is the first time we’ve met, is it, Tamar? Even though I was regrettably sidetracked in our initial meeting. We didn’t get to spend nearly the amount of time I looked forward to having with you.”
Anger spiked through her at his casual reference to Resa’s murder. He had so little regard for the bright light he’d snuffed out with one pounce of his massive body. The bastard.
“A pity I can’t say the same. Personally, I was grateful for Nico’s timely interruption.”
His chuckle crawled over her skin like a thousand spiders. “Nico, is it?” Another disturbing laugh. “Oh this is going to be so sweet.” He inched closer. “Did you know he was so careless in his haste to get back to you last night he led me right to you? Your death will destroy him.” His voice dropped the smooth, urbane tone and in his growl she heard the creature that lay beneath the olive skin and beautiful features. “I’m going to enjoy killing you.”
Her nightmare played out before her in 3-D.