Under Fire (Love Over Duty #1)(60)

"I'm sorry, Lou," he said. "I couldn't stop myself last night, but I should have known better."

Hurt gathered in her belly, making it tighten. As always, logic was her go-to strategy. She looked up at him, though she rarely felt comfortable enough to look someone straight in the eye. Especially when he was dressed and she was wrapped in a towel.

"Don't look at me like that, Lou. I know what it costs you to look straight at me, and I am so not worth it, believe me."

Six looked tortured. Common sense was telling her that it was best to just go back to her room and let him work through it, which totally lined up with her usual MO of avoiding, well, life. But for once she held her ground. "Okay, first please quit the martyr act. We are grown-ups who had consensual sex. I'm sure you've done that before, so don't start getting weird just because it was me. Second, I'll look at you any way I damn well please. You didn't care how I looked at you when I was riding  …  well  …  you know," she said, gesturing toward his shorts. "Third. If the only difference between you tugging at the corner of this towel to do something  …  urgh  …  hot, or sexual, or something, and you walking out of the bathroom without kissing me good morning is the fact that I gave your company a check, I'll cancel it. I'd rather pay you to help me, but I'm sure I can find somebody else if it's the difference between us doing this or not." Her knees were shaking and her voice was loud enough that she suddenly realized if any of Six's team were still in the house, they'd likely heard her stumbled words. She felt pink spread to her cheeks. 

She stepped toward the bathroom door, feeling like she was going to pass out before she made it to her own room. Her heart was pounding, and her head was spinning.

"Lou," Six said quietly, his hand looping her wrist. "You like your lists? Fine. I'll give you mine. First, I'm not being a martyr. We can't build a reputation as a professional firm if I hook up with one of our first clients. Professionally, you must see how weird that looks, no matter how badly I want to. And what kind of message does it send to the guys who work for me? And yes. I have had sex before, lots of it, but what we did was much more than that. So please, for both our sakes, don't minimize it. Just because I shouldn't have done it doesn't mean it wasn't perfect. And for the record, how you looked riding my cock-and yes, you can say that word because, as you mentioned, we're both grown-ups-was burned into my memory. And third, if it was as simple as just giving into this, you'd have been out of that towel and up on the counter with my face between your legs before you could cry out my name. It's just  …  Shit, Lou. I'm trying to figure out what the right thing to do here is, and my duty wins out every time."

Six ran his finger along her jaw and applied just the tiniest amount of pressure to encourage her to look up at him.

"I don't have expansive experience at this, Six," she said, honestly. "But I am not prepared to go through everything it takes to open myself up to you if you aren't sure."

He released her chin and sighed, and she knew they were done with the conversation. From the way his eyes held her, she knew their relationship was, at best, on temporary hold. For a moment, she considered whether she was brave enough to stand up on her tiptoes and initiate a kiss. Or whether she had what it took to simply drop her towel and stand in front of him, naked. She was certain she could convince him. But she'd never know for sure if he'd really wanted her or not.

And who wanted a guy who needed convincing to be in a relationship with you?





CHAPTER NINE

Six was glad they'd decided to take Cabe's black truck. It blended into the night better than his would have, and being invisible was just what they needed right now. Plus, the darkness totally matched his mood. Agitation crawled through him, and the absolute silence he could usually find when he needed to focus was creeping further and further out of reach.

After lunch, a quick call into Officer Meeks had confirmed that the van used in the attempted abduction of Louisa had been found, burnt out, in an abandoned lot. None of the police's efforts to find the owner, Demyan Kovalenko, had been successful.

Which was why Six was currently parked down the street from Kovalenko's home, doing something the police didn't have the manpower to do. Waiting and watching. Yet for some reason, the patience he'd had in spades as a sniper had gone AWOL. Sitting in Cabe's truck, waiting, was driving him crazy and he didn't know why.