She embraces me as I imagine a mother would. I melt, letting her comfort me, not caring that Asher is watching, not caring that I’m crying again.
“I see how much you love my son. Let him be your strength, Alyse. Besides, I need to grow the number of Colloway women,” she whispers quietly in my ear and I laugh through the tears. “Asher, take care of our Alyse.”
“I will, Mom.” He hugs and kisses her. Then she’s gone and I’m in Asher’s arms. “What was that all about?”
“Girl talk. Your mom is incredible.”
“That she is. Are you feeling better?” With my face in his hands, he searches my eyes, wiping away the remnants of my internal conflict.
“Yes.” After the long talk I just had with his mom, I can honestly say that’s true. The clarity I need is floating somewhere in her wise words, just waiting for me to reach out and grab it when I’m ready.
His thumb plays with one of the one-carat drop-diamond platinum earrings he surprised me with in bed this morning. My leather jacket to him pales in comparison to his gift. When his eyes snag mine again, they’re smoky and swirling with love and blatant desire. “You deserve to be spoiled, Alyse. Every day for the rest of our lives.”
The need to be loved by this man is overwhelming. The intense need to believe it’s all real almost buckles my knees.
“Make love to me, Asher.” His name is swallowed as his mouth descends hard on mine, tongues dueling, hands frantic like we haven’t touched each other in months when it’s only been hours. Then he carries me through his apartment to the bedroom where he spends the rest of the night honoring my request again and again.
Chapter 34
Alyse
“Libs, you need to eat something.”
“Oh my God, I can’t,” Livia mumbles, pacing back and forth in the small conference room that’s doubling as a bridal suite. Her wedding dress swishes hypnotically with every step she takes. She lucked out and was able to find an absolutely stunning embellished ivory lace dress with lace cap sleeves, highlighting just the right amount of cleavage. It’s flowy and elegant, with a high waist, accentuated by a thick silver ribbon that hangs long down the back. The design is flattering, while at the same time it hides her growing belly. She’s the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.
“You haven’t eaten anything all day. You’re going to pass out when you say your vows. Here, at least eat a protein bar. Get something in your stomach.” I unwrap a Kind bar and hand it to her.
She looks at it with disgust. I wave it impatiently, forcing her to take it. She takes a bite and chews methodically while she walks.
It’s twenty minutes until showtime. Along with making me her maid of honor, she asked me to walk her down the aisle, which brought me to tears. Everyone else, including Barb, departed about five minutes ago, leaving just the two of us some precious time together before she becomes someone’s wife.
“It’s not too late, you know. You can pull a runaway bride and I’ll cover for you.” I wink, knowing that’s not at all the issue. Livia’s crazy in love with Gray, but she hates public speaking. Even though there are only about fifty guests, I’m sure the only memory she’s replaying right now is the one from her eleventh grade speech class where she completely froze, forgetting her entire speech on whether students should be required to take mandatory drug tests. She locked her knees and passed out cold, hitting her head on the hard tile floor and needing seven stitches.
“Livia.” Forcing her to sit down, I take a seat in front of her. “Don’t think about anyone else. Just focus on Gray and how much you love him and your happy beginning. Let him be your strength.” I smile, reusing Barb’s words.
“Happy beginning. Yeah, I like that.” She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay.”
“This is what you want, right?”
“With everything in me,” she answers immediately. Her eyes water and I squeeze her hands tight, unable to remain unaffected.
“Stop that. You’re going to ruin your makeup,” I scold, secretly trying to hold myself together so I can help hold Livia together.
“I know,” she says, dabbing an escaped tear.
“You are so beautiful, Libs. I’m so happy for you. I know I may not always show it, but I do love you. Very much.”
“I love you too, Alyse.” Pausing, she adds, “Everything I’ve ever done is for you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No sacrifice is too great.”
I nod, feeling like the lines she’s asking me to read between are blurry and confusing. I’m not sure they’ll ever come into focus.