Plain and simple, she’s the most incredible woman I have ever known.
Alyse’s phone buzzes for the fifth time today. I haven’t missed the fact that the other calls have been from the same number, a number I’m not familiar with, and when I hand the phone to Alyse, she checks it, declining the call.
Those little seeds of doubt and worry have fucking rooted and are growing at an alarming pace. But in checking the caller ID this time, I’m relieved to see it’s Heather. I grab it off the stand next to me and hand it to Alyse, sure she’ll want to take it.
“It’s Heather, baby.”
She sits up, putting the phone to her ear. The conversation is short. All I hear is Alyse’s terse one-word replies. “Yes.” “Okay.” “Fine.” “Sure.” “Bye.” I don’t know why, but it marginally relieves the ache I’m feeling to know whatever mood she’s in isn’t just directed at me.
“What did Heather want?” I decide to ask a direct question instead of an open-ended one, hoping to get more than one or two words out of her.
“I have to go back to Detroit tomorrow.”
My heart sinks.
“For how long? Next week is Christmas. You remember we’re spending Christmas Eve and day at Gray and Livia’s.” Usually we’d gather at my mom’s, but because the wedding is just two days later, we all agreed it would be easier to have Christmas here this year.
“I know. I have some new potential clients I need to meet with. I’ll be back Tuesday night.”
“I hate being away from you, even for a night.”
I pull her back into me, lips lingering on her forehead before we resume our previous position.
Before Alyse came back into my life, I would have said nothing would ever be more important than my career and my business and my family. But it’s not anymore. Alyse has jumped into my top slot. Permanently. I never intended to find my soul mate, never intended on getting married after Natalie, never intended to have a family.
But now…now the last two are all I can think about. I don’t want to be away from her. I’ve even cut my weekly trips to Detroit back significantly, not at the jeopardy of my business, but because I don’t need to be there as often as I have been. I have competent executives who can handle the management of that office without my constant presence.
“I can come with you,” I announce before even thinking it through. I’m sure I have back-to-back meetings on Monday and Tuesday that will need to be rescheduled, plus I was just in Detroit last Thursday so I have no need to go back. With the way things seem to be with Alyse, though, I feel like if I let her out of my sight for even a day, I may lose her completely.
Screw work.
“No, it’s fine. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on and will be working the entire time I’m there. It’s just one night, Asher.”
Fine. There’s that fucking word again.
I turn her over so she’s now forced to look up at me. I cup her cheek, stroking her supple skin with my thumb. “Are you sure? I can rearrange my calendar, no problem.”
Her eyes water and for the millionth time today, I ache to know what’s going on behind those sad, desolate, chocolate puddles.
“You would do that for me?”
You don’t have to be a psychiatrist or have any mental health training at all to know that Alyse suffers greatly from abandonment issues, but in that moment, the full extent of them hits me like a ton of fucking bricks. She doesn’t even feel like she’s good enough for me to cancel a few meaningless meetings? No one has put her first.
Ever.
No one.
My heart bleeds for her.
Right then and there I vow to spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how loved and vital and cherished she is. It will take a while for her to believe it, but I’ll work tirelessly until she does.
I catch a tear that’s escaped. “Alyse…baby, when are you going to believe that I would do anything for you? I would slay dragons. I would walk through hell. I would wage wars. I would lie and cheat and steal and kill for you. I’d break every fucking law and commandment for no one else but you. I am madly, deeply, unconditionally in love with you. Your happiness is my first and only priority.”
I finally see a ghost of a smile and my Alyse shines briefly through her veil of sadness and watery eyes. Seeing that she’s still inside her new coat of protective armor, I feel like I can take a full breath for the first time since last night at eleven-thirty.
“Wow. Dragons, huh?”
“Don’t forget the killing. And the wars,” I tease, tugging playfully on her lower lip.
That gets me a brief laugh before she turns somber again.