Undeniably Asher (The Colloway Brothers Book 2)(37)

I can’t believe I denied her earlier today, but the first time I’m inside of her is not going to be on my desk. As much as I want to ravage her, I also want to romance her. I don’t want her to think I’m only in this for sex, because while I can’t wait to get her underneath me, I want so much more from her than just her body. I want her heart.

It makes mine palpitate a bit when I think about how much I really genuinely like this woman already. The more time I spend with her, the more I know I could easily, so very easily, fall in love with her. Hell, if I’m honest with myself, I’m already falling.

“Where did you learn to cook?” she asks, taking the seat I’ve pulled out for her.

“My mom,” I reply, taking my own chair.

“Really? You actually spent time in the kitchen with your mother learning to cook?”

“Didn’t have a choice.” I sip the buttery wine before cutting into my chicken. “She made all of us learn. We each had to help with one meal during the week.”

“Really?” She’s smiling, but it’s sad. I don’t know much about Alyse’s childhood, but I do know Alyse and Livia’s mother walked out on them, leaving them with a deadbeat, gambling addict father to raise them.

I can’t imagine growing up without my mom, who taught me so much that I’m still only realizing it now as an adult. Knowing Alyse didn’t have one to teach her to do simple things like cook or ride a bike, let alone do the more important stuff like build her self-esteem or handle conflict makes me ache for her. I, on the other hand, had an idyllic childhood, at least until Luke started with all his bullshit.

My brothers and I were raised by great parents who loved us and had morals and a great marriage. We went to church, we gave back to the community, and we were a tight family unit. Still are today.

As much as I want to talk about Alyse’s upbringing, I want tonight to be about beginnings, not sadness. I try to lighten the mood. “Really. Of course, we all hated it at the time, except for Luke. Luke loved to cook. And he was good.” I laugh remembering some of the inventive meals he and my mom came up with.

“Well, I’d say she taught you very well, too, because this is excellent.”

“Thanks.” I smile. “My mom always said a woman loves a man who knows what he’s doing in the kitchen.”

“Well I would agree with your mother.” Her eyes drop shyly down to her plate. “What’s your specialty? Your favorite thing to make?”

“Lasagna. Or anything pasta, really. Whenever it was my turn to cook, I always wanted to make spaghetti, but my mom made me branch out into other food groups.” She nods, but doesn’t respond. “Can you cook, Alyse, or am I going to have to do all the cooking in this relationship?”

She studies me for a few heartbeats like she’s trying to dissect my question. “Is that what this is? A relationship?”

“Is that what you want?” Jesus, please say yes. I have spent the last four years trying to avoid relationships of any kind. One or two “dates” was all I would allow, then I’d move onto the next one. I think I took one woman out three times, and when she asked if I wanted to go away for a weekend…well, I made sure she saw me out with someone else. So the fact that I’m sitting here silently begging her to say yes is not lost on me. I want from her what I’ve denied anyone else for years.

And Christ…I want it badly.

I watch her struggle to speak and I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until after she quietly says, “Yes.”

I nod. We’re silent for a couple of minutes while we enjoy the meal I cooked especially with her in mind.

“Do you?” she asks softly.

“Do I, what?”

“Want a relationship?”

I think about how to respond without scaring her. I want so much more than just a relationship. I want her. All of her. Every fucking part of her.

Every thought.

Every memory.

Every secret.

Every dream.

Every fantasy.

Every breath.

I want every waking and sleeping minute to belong only to me. I want her heart, her very fucking soul. I want it all.

Never in my life have I wanted someone to be wholly mine more than Alyse.

“Yes.”

Her smile is magnificent. Like a thousand brilliant suns raining down on me at once. My cock is stone hard at the thought I will be inside her within the hour. I didn’t prepare dessert, because I plan on that being Alyse. Spread out on this very table. I want to reach out and touch the silky skin of her face. Only if I do that I won’t stop, and for now, I want to talk. I want to know everything about her.