“Where’s Mom?” Usually she would be running around the kitchen like a chicken with her head cut off by now.
“She needed a few things from the store. She’ll be back shortly,” Gray replies.
“Why are you guys here so early?” I ask after taking a nice long drink of the cold, tasty liquid. Mom doesn’t normally drink, except for an occasional glass of wine, but she always has each of my brothers’ favorite beers on hand when we come home.
“I wanted to help your mom with the cooking,” Livia says, looking up from the wedding dresses she’s perusing.
“That’s nice, Livia.” I smile and she returns it. Livia and I are also trying to mend things, although that’s taking a little bit longer. One of my biggest personality flaws is the ability to forgive and forget. I’m not good at either, especially when it comes to someone hurting the people I love.
“Why are you here so early?” Gray eyes me suspiciously. I haven’t told him about my intent to hire Alyse yet, but he’s no fool. He spent an hour lecturing me weeks ago on why I needed to stay away from her.
She’s like family.
Don’t use her.
Awkwardness.
Blah blah blah. But I’m a grown fucking man. I make my own decisions and I almost always get what I want. I want Alyse. Surprisingly for more than just sex, because if that’s all it was, I would stay away from her. Or I’d try my level best, for to some degree I agree with Gray.
Livia is all Alyse has and now that she’s marrying my brother, we’re bound to see a lot of each other at family functions. So if I use her, as I have every other woman for the last four years, yes, I would be a rat bastard. Thing is, I don’t want to use her. I like her. A lot.
I need to change the subject. The last thing I want to do is get into a conversation about Alyse in front of her sister. “Is Luke coming?” I ask.
Gray shakes his head disapprovingly. He knows exactly what I’m up to. Bastard. “He said he would try. I’m not holding my breath.” He sounds rather caustic and I see a look of hurt pass over Livia’s face before Gray spins her in his arms so she’s facing him. He cups her face. “I’m sorry, angel.”
“Try to be nice to him. For me,” she replies softly.
“You know I will.” When he brings her mouth to his, I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment, so I turn and leave, heading to my bedroom. I have no idea how Livia knows Luke, all I know is that she does. Another one of the little mysteries that surrounds Livia’s disappearance and Luke’s long absence.
Since Luke has resurfaced and apparently cleaned up his shit, we’ve talked a few times, but it’s strained—on both sides. Last time I talked to him, he told me he’s in the process of relocating his PI business from Dayton to Chicago so he can be closer to family. Having been out of our lives for over ten years, he’s almost like a stranger to me and I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I think I’d like to have my big brother back.
I spend the next few hours catching up on emails and making a few phone calls before taking a shower to get ready for my date with Alyse. I have a lovely little Italian restaurant picked out. It’s a hole in the wall, but it’s quiet and romantic and their chicken cannelloni is to die for.
Alyse didn’t give me her address, but I know where she lives. I’ve driven by her house a couple of times over the last few months to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. About a month ago I saw her in the living room windows. I stopped on the street, drinking in the sight of her for several minutes.
She was cleaning and singing. She looked so goddamn carefree and happy. Even then the thought crossed my mind that I wanted to be the one to put that smile on her face. I quickly put the car into gear and got the hell out of there before I did something even more stupid than stalking, like walking up to her door and demanding that she let me fuck her against the closest wall.
At five-thirty, dressed in dark jeans and a black wool sweater, I head downstairs to visit with my family a bit before I head out. When I hit the landing, the noise from the kitchen draws me in that direction. I don’t know if it’s like this with every other family, but in our house the kitchen is the hot spot. I’ve spent more than one night standing around the island, drinking and laughing with my brothers, my mom, and my dad when he was alive. That kitchen is full of dozens of good and bad memories, but I cherish each and every one. Even though I’ve not lived at home since I went away to college, every time I’m back here it feels like where I should be.
“Hey Mom.” I kiss her on the cheek before I grab a piece of cheese from the charcuterie platter. One thing I’ll say about my mom…we’ll never starve when we’re home. By the time I leave on Saturday, I’ll probably have gained five pounds.