Undeclared(74)

Grace

The clanging of pans in the kitchen roused Lana. She opened the door a crack. “Anyone else here?” she asked.

“No, just us.”

With the confirmation that we were alone, she opened the door fully and exited her bedroom. Her hair was matted to one side of her head and last night’s mascara was smudged in big half circles under her eyes. She grunted a hello.

“Nice look, Sullivan,” I teased. “The smoky eye look is really taking over, huh?”

She flipped me off and sat down in the chair. “Why are you so cheery this morning? And where’s Noah?”

“Don’t know,” I handed her a water bottle and she drank it three quarters of the way before returning the bottle to the table.

“Did he kick Jack out?” she wondered. I shrugged again. I had only the note and some vague memories of trying to lure Noah into bed with me. I had a minor pang of embarrassment, but I took comfort in his note.

“Pancakes?” I offered. After drinking the tall glass of water and taking the two aspirins Noah had left for me, I started feeling human again. He had undressed me for the most part and must have even washed my face. When I went into the bathroom, there was a washcloth draped on a towel rack and my face looked surprisingly clean.

He had taken good care of me and, from the indentation in the pillow next to mine, slept next to me as well. I rolled around a bit in the cool hollow left by his body and sniffed the pillow for a good five minutes, trying to capture the faint scent he left behind.

Pancakes, I had decided, would be a great way to soak up any excess alcohol, and I had just started making them when Lana poked her head out.

“Yes, two,” she muttered. I served Lana two and myself two and set the rest aside to put in our freezer.

“Can you help me sort through my pictures this morning?” I asked Lana. Her head shot up in surprise.

“Are you finally going to submit to the art department?” she asked, barely swallowing her food before she spoke.

“I am,” I could feel my grin stretching my face. I had gone online this morning and looked at Dr. Rossum’s office hours. “I sent an email requesting a meeting.”

Lana clapped her hands and reached for me. “I’m so proud of you, Gracie.”

“In other good news, Noah left me a note that they’re having a party at The Woodlands tonight.” Everything seemed to be going perfectly.

“Yeah? That sounds like fun.” Her enthusiasm was subdued, but she still seemed happy.

“The note also mentioned that I shouldn’t drink much because he wanted me to take advantage of him.”

“Does that mean what I think it means?” Lana smirked.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling too wide. “Yes, or at least I hope so.”

This motivated Lana into action. She hopped up and came around the table. “We need to go shopping!”

“For what?”

“Clothes! Lingerie!” I laughed at Lana’s enthusiasm.

“Why not?” I was a little lightheaded with the idea of having sex with Noah. A little anxiety had driven me into overindulging last night, but today, somehow, I felt excited and empowered. Likely because I had acted a little foolish last night, and Noah wasn’t deterred at all.



“Where do you see this going with Noah?” Lana asked me as we rifled through bras and panties and other scraps of lace and faux satin at the lingerie store.

“Don’t know,” I lied. I had elaborate visions of where this was going with Noah, but I wanted to focus on tonight. “How about this?” I held up a pair of lacy white boy shorts. It seemed sexy and something that I wouldn’t constantly have the urge to readjust.

“Nice, but maybe you should go all out.” Lana offered a red one piece full of lace. Pushing one corner of my mouth up in a grimace, I shook my head.

“You have to unsnap it at the crotch to pee. It can’t be comfortable.”

“This isn’t for comfort,” Lana said. “It’s for sex.”

“Please, can you say it louder? Why not just put a dick on my back?”

“It’s sex,” Lana said more quietly. “You need to remember that.”

“What does that mean?”

Lana laid down the red garment and turned to look at me. Her face was very serious and I thought I saw a glimpse of pain in her eyes. “When you have sex for the very first time, you can ascribe a lot of emotional feelings to that one guy. Sometimes it is really hard to set those aside.” She put her hand on my arm as if she really wanted me to pay attention. “Noah hurt you and your relationship wasn’t even physical. Now he is going to be your first. When he leaves you, it is going to be a million times worse.”