Undeclared(45)

I realized then that is what I should do with the Art program, too. I needed to stop living the fear of failure. By not submitting my photographs to be reviewed, I was guaranteeing my continued failure, just like Lana had said. Sure it was easy to say that photography was just my hobby or that I didn’t want to infect it with money. But I needed to grow up and accept my lumps, whatever they may be. I had survived one break-up with Noah; I could make it through another. I could even survive rejection from the art department.

I guess we’ll see tomorrow how warm I can be. I texted back, deliberately provocative. So brave, I thought to myself, when I didn’t have to be there in front of Noah. His response took a minute, but when it came, I felt flushed with excitement and happiness.

Sorry for the delay in replying. Had to adjust myself. Can’t wait. Be safe and don’t look at anyone but your brother.

Yes, sir. I wished there was a salute emoticon, but there wasn’t, so I sent a winking smiley face. ;)

I headed for the will call booth to pick up my tickets. Inside the envelope with my name on it were two tickets, a lanyard, and a note from Josh.

Come to the Fieldhouse after the game. Someone will let you in. Just wait for me.

The game was a blowout. Everyone was scoring touchdowns for State, and Josh was pulled from the game early in the fourth quarter. I sighed in relief and happiness. Post-game celebratory attitudes were a lot more fun to deal with than the post-game mopes. I had taken some great photographs early in the first quarter and then went down to sit in the friends and family section.

I said hello to the parents I recognized. Nate Levacki’s parents both hugged me and said they missed me but promised that they took good care of Josh whenever I missed a game. Nate, who we all called by his last name, was Josh’s roommate and the starting tight end. Mom never came to Josh’s games and after the first year, Levacki’s parents finally stopped asking about her.

By the time I got down to the Fieldhouse, the team had apparently already started changing, as several of the players drifted out toward the exit with street clothes and wet hair. Josh, unfortunately, didn’t show up for at least thirty minutes more.

By that time, I had stretched out onto the floor along one wall within the hallway of the Fieldhouse, the painted white brick walls protecting me on one side and my backpack serving as my pillow. I threw my arm over my eyes to protect them from the harsh fluorescents that lit the hallway. I was a little tired from the game and the drive. Josh finally showed up and woke me from my nap by nearly stepping on me.

“Nice bed, Grace,” Levacki smirked.

“I wouldn’t have had to lie down if you prima donnas hadn’t taken time to Bieberize your hair.” I referenced his carefully styled sideswept bangs and stood up.

“I’ve got to give the ladies an excuse to brush the hair out of my eyes,” Levacki replied, swinging his head to the side so his bangs lifted and resettled.

“Guys who wear more product in their hair than a girl are never going to get laid,” I said.

“Kids, kids, kids.” Josh laid a hand on both of our shoulders and separated us, forestalling any sexually suggestive comeback Levacki might have had. Josh liked to pretend I was still twelve and tried to prevent any male from saying anything that intimated I might know what a penis was or what it was used for.

Another teammate of Josh’s came up and slapped him on the back. “Good game. See you at West End?” The teammate peered around Levacki and Josh at me. I gave a little wave. “You can bring the chick. She’s hot.”

“This is my sister, you asshole,” Josh scowled. The reference to my supposed hotness got Levacki’s back up, as well, and he pushed the teammate away. “We’re not taking her to that hell hole.”

The player shrugged and walked off. “Your loss,” echoed down the hallway.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Some girl Levacki is seeing suggested a new bar that has a battle of the bands tonight.”

That did sound halfway entertaining, plus I could tease Levacki about his new girlfriend. We grabbed some food and went back to the guys’ apartment, where we all played video games for a bit. Several other of Josh’s teammates arrived. Josh pulled me into the kitchen to grill me about why I was staying overnight. Usually I just did a day trip but this time, I asked Josh to find me a ride that would stay until tomorrow.

“Don’t give me this bullshit about missing me, either,” he warned. I hopped up on the counter while Josh pulled a beer out of the refrigerator.

I picked at the label of the bottle he handed me. “I just wanted to get away from Central.”