Unchain My Heart(68)

“Jade, you gotta understand: it's nothing personal against you. I have to protect my people, everyone in my club. As a person, I think you’re great. But the danger you bring to my family . . .” His voice was solemn, his face contorted with pain.

I nodded; my throat burned, thick with tears. Over the months I’d come to like everyone at the club; they’d gone out of their way to make me feel at home. I could fit in there, in spite of our differences, if only I could have that chance.

“It's time for the funeral. You are welcome to come back to the compound for the wake to celebrate our memories of Ratbag. But after that—I’m sorry.” He gave Mia a quick hug and led her from the room, his hand on the small of her back, steering her away.

She gave me a look that tore at my heart. She needed a friend: someone to tell her everything would be fine. Someone who could laugh and cry with her. But Cobra wasn’t having any of it.

Daddy had accompanied me to the funeral, worried that I would overexert myself so soon after leaving the hospital. Mom wanted to come as well, but that would have just been awkward, so I’d convinced her that I’d come back to their house with Daddy afterwards where I could put my feet up, and allow her to pamper me with cups of tea and her famous scones.

“Ah, there you are,” Daddy said as he held out his arm. He looked distinguished in his black suit, and just a little out of place amongst all the bikers dressed in denim and leather. But if Owen Summers felt unbefitting, he wasn’t showing it. The true mark of a professional man, he was used to dealing with people from all walks of life.

I gave him a small smile and hooked into his arm. Ryder had explained to me that we should stay apart to avoid drama today, so I was thankful I had someone by my side. My parents had taken me back to their home as soon as I was discharged from hospital. Mom had taken a few days off work so that she could keep an eye on me.

It was a good thing, because we had a chance to talk about everything. I explained to her just how much I loved Ryder, and how good he was for me. Losing the baby wasn’t going to miraculously make me stop loving Ryder. At first I’d seen the disappointment in her eyes. She wanted me to marry well, like she had, into a wealthy family.

But when I explained to her that all Marcus’s success and wealth meant nothing to me if he treated me wrong, she started coming around, agreeing that Ryder had protected and cared for me a hell of a lot better than Marcus with all his money and prestige did.

Deep down, Sylvia Summers was a sucker for love and a hopeless romantic herself. The more we spoke about Ryder, the more I could see that she was warming to the idea of her daughter being with a man who loved her that much. I told her that Ryder had asked me to marry him and that I’d said yes. She wasn’t overjoyed, but she also didn’t oppose it.

Now it was just Daddy and Harrison that had to see my point of view. And I was determined to make them see it, regardless of how long it took to win them over.

Surprisingly, Daddy had been civil to everyone. I wasn’t sure if it was out of respect for Ratbag, or that my mother had quietly gotten to him. She always had a way of bringing my father around to her way of seeing things. Men thought they ruled the world—in reality, it was run by the women they loved.

If they accepted the love.

My man had been overcome with grief, blaming himself for the loss of Peanut and Ratbag and Jamie’s disappearance, so he’d stayed at the club since Sunday. He’d hardly slept, working with Hammer through the nights, trying to find leads. He’d called me every morning and every evening to make sure I was OK, but I could hear the tension in his voice.

It was something he had to do, so I tried to give him the space to deal with it, but I wished he’d come home to me so that I could massage his back, and kiss his brow, and help ease the tension.

But more than anything, I needed his arms around me at night. I woke up every morning, my pillow soaked with tears as I cried even in my sleep. Everything in me ached for Ryder. It felt as if the loss of Peanut was the catalyst for a rift between us. I couldn’t stand the way he was distant and cool when I needed him to be loving and caring. Three nights without him had been hell; I didn’t want to do it anymore.

I drew in a shocked breath when I saw Ryder as he and the other brothers carried the coffin in to the chapel. Deep lines marred his brow, and his eyes seemed set deeper into his face. Dark circles under his eyes proved that he hadn’t slept in days. My heart lurched when he gave me a small sad smile, then cast his eyes downwards. This wasn’t the Ryder I knew and loved. It was eating him from the inside, and it killed me to watch.