Unchain My Heart(51)
What a fucking nightmare of a day it had been. But for Peanut’s memory, I’d fight for Jade and me. I’d let nothing stand in our way ever again.
Then I remembered she’d said yes—my Princess was going to marry me. And that alone made it worth being alive. We had the rest of our lives to make it up to one another and build a family that Peanut would always be a part of. Always.
Chapter Thirty-Eight — Harrison
Revenge. All-consuming, revenge. I wanted that more than anything. I breathed for it. It was the only thing that kept me going. Because what else was there left to live for when the person you loved with all your heart was no longer there? And taken with her was the seed of our love, a tiny life that had never had a chance to experience life outside the womb?
My hatred was laser-sharp and focused on all the scum-of-the-earth kinds of people who caused innocent members of society to have their lives cut short.
Hatred drove me; it fed me, fueled my actions. Yet I never felt fulfilled. Never satisfied. Maybe I needed one more hit. One more act of revenge. Yeah, that should do it—quell my need to get an eye for an eye.
The sad thing was that I couldn’t stop, even now that it was coming closer to home—to my own blood and flesh. Because I wanted the baby that the biker had planted in my sister’s belly dead. I didn’t care that I'd burn in hell for all eternity. Fuck, that was where I'd been headed for a long time. This wasn’t going to change a fucking thing. There was no place in Heaven for evil fuckers like me, no angels to rescue me from myself, and my all-consuming hatred.
Sitting with my hands in my hair, nausea took hold of my gut, swirling in it all the feelings of loss and rage and helplessness. Despair.
What had I become? A fucking monster that wished for the death of an unborn child. Despicable. Hate-worthy. Yes, I was all that and even more.
Aware of someone entering my office, I didn’t even bother to look up. This shit was eating me alive, but I had no idea how to stop it. Or if I even wanted to. I just wanted it all to go away. To leave me in fucking peace.
“You look like fucking shit.”
My head jerked up. That fucking obvious, huh?
“What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I'm fucking busy?” I grunted. The last thing I needed was a pep talk by my boss.
Callahan sat his ass down on the only other chair in the room and proceeded to put his feet up on my desk, his hands behind his head as he appraised me between narrowed eyes.
“Over the years we’ve been through a lot of crap together, dipshit. But I've never seen you come apart like this.” Even though he insulted me in camaraderie, the concern in his voice couldn’t be hidden.
“Jade got pregnant by a biker. A fucking biker!” I ranted, my heart racing at the thought. It was ludicrous that the little sister I’d protected all my life was now involved with the very type of person I wanted to see wiped off the earth.
He whistled through his teeth. “Christ, Summers, hasn’t anyone ever told you that whatever you fear most in life will be put in your fucking path to test you? Even I know that.”
“What the fuck do you mean? I never wanted Jade to get involved with a fucking biker . . . that’s the last thing I want for her—”
He picked up the letter opener from my desk and scraped under his nails with it. “Exactly my point, asshole. The less you want something, the more likely it will happen to you.”
“You can’t be implying that I brought this on. That it's my fucking fault—”
“Not in so many words I wouldn’t, because I value my balls. But this unhealthy hatred you’re harboring . . . it can do no good, man.”
“Callahan, you’re my boss, not fucking God. Stay the fuck outta this. Besides, we are on the same team, remember? To rid this planet of the scum—”
“Well then, you’ll be pleased as fuck to find out we have a raid planned for the Scorpio Stinger MC.” He raked a hand over his buzz-cut, eyeing me for my reaction.
This bit of information got me sitting upright in my chair, my personal woes forgotten for the moment. I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?” I couldn’t help the snarl that curled around my lips; I was like a Rottweiler smelling his prey.
His eyes glistened. “We got inside information . . . one of their crew leaked it—spilled his fucking guts in exchange for witness protection. Texan is what they call him. We caught him red-handed dealing drugs with a street value of over a half million bucks. And a woman was found dead in his motel room . . . naked and brutalized. His fault—at least, that’s what the rap sheet says. He had no choice if he wanted to stay the fuck alive.”