I’d been to the doctor with Jade and we’d heard the heartbeat and seen the ultrasound pictures. I was convinced Peanut was a girl, and had already started thinking about suitable names. We’d find out for certain at our next appointment. I was going to spend big on pink shit for the baby room if I was right.
When I wanted to take a bet on it, Jade refused, just laughing and reminding me that I had a fifty percent chance of being wrong. She was adamant that it didn’t really matter what sex our baby was; she knew we’d love it regardless.
Princess was right.
Chapter Thirty — Harrison
Besides Amy and my mother, I’d never loved a woman like I loved my little sister. From the day my parents brought her home from hospital, Jade was fragile and different to all my friend’s baby brothers and sisters.
Born six weeks prematurely with a serious congenital heart defect, it was touch and go if she would survive. I didn’t really understand the anguish my parents were going through, but when I heard them talk about a hole in her heart, it really worried me. To my child’s brain, anything with a hole in it, especially a heart, had to be damaged.
After she was born, I couldn’t see her for weeks, but when finally I laid eyes on this curious defective creature, it was love at first sight. She was scrawny, her skin pale-grey and wrinkled, and she was ugly as fuck with bug-like eyes and blue fingernails, but to me she was a miracle.
“Mommy, why does Jade cry so much?” I asked. “Does she not like being here with us?”
“Because she can’t breathe properly, Harrison. And she turns blue because she doesn’t get enough oxygen into her lungs.” I couldn’t imagine not being able to breathe—didn’t we all do it automatically without thinking about it?
Every time she cried, I tried to make her smile by pulling funny faces.
Her bluish bottom lip would quiver, then she’d stop crying, tears hovering on her long lashes. She’d hold on to my finger and stare at me with blue eyes that looked far too big for her tiny head.
My parents, at the end of their tether, would sigh with relief that she’d stopped, praising me for being such a good boy. “Harrison, you’re a strong boy. Your job is to be Jade’s protector. Promise us that you’ll always look after her.”
Of course I promised. I would do anything for her.
Once I saved her life. She’d virtually stopped breathing and was blue in the face. I'd watched CPR videos on the Internet for a “just in case” moment, hoping I’d never need it. The fear that gripped my insides as I breathed into her lungs never left me. Thank God it worked.
And that’s why I'd become so overprotective of Jade. She was my shadow, or rather—I was hers. If she had to be taken from us on my watch, I'd never forgive myself.
And now she was telling me she was throwing her precious life away on a fucking biker.
What if having a baby cost her her life?
What then?
Did biker boy even know about the risks? That Jade’s kids could have it too?
“Jade, have you told Knox about your heart?” I asked, suspecting that she hadn’t.
“Harrison, mind your own business. I’ve outgrown the condition. Everything is fine. That has nothing to do with my pregnancy.”
“No? It does. And it might have implications for your babies, too. You know that. It may be better to . . . terminate—”
Jade shook her head. “I'm fit and healthy, Harrison.”
“You haven’t told him, have you? Defects like yours are never totally repairable. I've watched you over the years . . . you always lose your breath a lot faster than anyone else, even though you try to hide it.”
She rubbed at her heart with her palm, her face pale with a bluish tinge I knew so well.
“Are you okay? Take deep breaths,” I said, automatically taking a step toward her.
Her eyes flared as she took a step backward and yelled at me. “Don’t touch me. I can’t believe you suggested I get rid of the baby. What kind of monster are you?”
“Jade, calm down—”
“Don’t you tell me to calm down. You say all these nasty things and expect me to agree with you? I know you’ve always looked out for me, but I don’t need you anymore. I have Ryder now—Ryder and my baby. Which. I. Am. Keeping. So get that through your thick skull.”
She was sucking at air now, her eyes wide, nearly bugging out of her head.
“Sit down. Catch your breath,” I shouted, panic gripping me as her chest heaved.
She grabbed her purse and walked to the door, jerking it open. “I’m leaving . . . tell Mom . . . I’ll be . . . back tomorrow . . . with Ryder,” she panted.