Ryder stiffened. His face paled. For the first time since I met him, I couldn’t read his expression. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Fuck.
“Christ.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Jade, are you sure?” His voice, like his face, gave nothing away.
I bit my lip. “Yes.” My gaze searched his face. I needed a clue. What is he thinking?
His voice hitched. “I’m going to be a daddy? Really?”
I nodded.
“Fuck.”
My eyes widened as I stared at him. Not the word I wanted to hear. I held my breath, waiting for his next reaction as he processed my revelation.
“I mean, that’s the most wonderful thing . . . that’s ever happened to me. Besides you, of course.” His grin was so wide I thought it would break his face.
I blinked. “Really?”
“Really.” He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. Then he pulled me up from the sofa, lifting me off the floor and swinging me around like I was a feather.
“It's fucking amazing. A little Ryder. Or Jade. Fuck. Amazing.”
He was laughing, yet his eyes were watery.
“So . . . are you happy? I was . . . so scared—”
“Of course I'm happy! Why were you scared?”
I scrunched up my nose. “We never spoke about kids. And from what you said about your mother—you once said it was cruel to bring kids into the world. I wasn’t sure you wanted any.”
His face fell for a moment as he thought about my words. “Mmmm. That’s true. I never wanted kids. I never wanted another human to go through what Max and I experienced. But—” He fell silent, his jaw working hard as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.
“But?” I breathed, waiting for him to continue.
“But with you . . . my Princess, it will be perfect. We will show our child so much love. She will never doubt how wanted she is.”
My breath hitched. “She?”
“Yeah. I want an exact replica of you. She will be just as beautiful . . . as smart . . . and as feisty. Mini you.”
“Ha ha. You’re funny. And what if it's a boy?” Truth be told, I was rooting for a ‘mini me’ of Ryder.
“Then the world is in trouble.” He laughed. “Big trouble.”
He kissed me, long and hard, showing me just how delighted he was with the news. Stunned, I kissed him back, happy that it had been so easy to tell him. I definitely didn’t expect this reaction.
He pulled away and narrowed his eyes at me. “Babe, not that I’m complaining . . . but, I thought you were on the pill? How did this happen?”
I chewed my lip. At first when I’d missed my period, I didn’t think it was that strange because I was irregular. But then two things happened which were a first for me: I fell asleep at my desk during lunch breaks and secondly, the smell of raw meat turned my stomach. One of my favorite stories as a kid was when Mom had told me she’d had this happen to her when she was pregnant with me, so I suspected that I might be too. After three home tests all showing up positive, I was still in denial. Finally I’d gone to the doctor. She’d put the pieces of the puzzle together.
“Remember how I got sick on the plane to New York?”
He nodded. “Yeah. That was awful.”
“Vomiting on the plane . . . I’d simply thrown the contraceptive up along with my breakfast.”
His eyes widened. “And of course, we had sex just a few hours after when we arrived at Max’s place—”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “But I could’ve been pregnant already before we went to New York. Maybe that’s what brought the nausea at my parents house too.”
He sucked in a breath and went pale.
“What?” I asked, eager to get back to kissing.
“Babe. You just rode my dick like a slut. Deep. Hard. Is . . . is that okay? The baby—” His eyes had widened, concern etched on his face.
Playfully, I slapped his arm. “Slut? Damn right, biker boy,” I teased. His expression was so serious, I had to put him out of his misery. “But there is nothing to worry about. We can’t hurt the baby.” I took his hand and placed it on my stomach. “The baby is only six weeks old. It's the size of a peanut.”
“So . . . Peanut is okay?” he asked, wonder and awe in his voice. He stroked over my stomach, which was still totally flat. For now.
“Yes. All Peanut can feel now is the love we have for him.”
He chuckled. “Peanut is a girl.”
“No, Peanut is a boy. My mini Ryder,” I countered.
“Babe, I’m not sharing you with any other guy. Peanut has to be a girl. I'm not having another boy suck my nipples.”