She knocked and Lucas's mom opened the door. With a squeal of delight, she pounced on Dani for a hug. Lucas's mom smelled like freshly baked cookies. Dani actually wondered if her blood would be as sweet. What a sick thought to have about a woman who was like a second mother to her.
"Oh, Dani, we've missed you so much. Lucas has been a mess lately. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I hope you can work it out. He'll be so glad to see you." She squeezed Dani tightly.
"It's good to see you too. Is Lucas home?" Dani backed away from Mary before she had any more time to dwell on the thought of tasting her blood.
"He went out for a while. Do you want me to call him? I know he'll run right home." She smiled brightly.
"I kinda wanted to surprise him. Do you have any idea where he would have gone?" Dani couldn't help smiling back.
"You could check the field behind the school. He's been spending a lot of time there at night. He says it reminds him of you, so he likes being there." Mary brushed a hand across Dani's cheek. "He misses you."
"Thanks, Ms. Mary. I'll check there before I try calling him." Mary hugged her again. Dani left the porch feeling a little brighter. A dose of home may have been just what she needed.
The thought of Lucas sitting in their field, staring up at the stars to feel closer to her, gave Dani's heart a squeeze. Maybe what he had done was just a drunken mistake. She was no angel. Chase had slept in her bed that night. In fact, she'd crawled all over him and offered him sex. A fact she hadn't remembered until after she had walked out on Lucas. Dani still wouldn't have remembered it if she hadn't been able to invade Chase's mind. Lucas had told her mom he was waiting for her to come to him because he knew he'd messed up. He was willing to wait for her forgiveness. Maybe it was time to let go and forgive.
She headed off toward the campus with a renewed hope for their relationship. Maybe everything had been so crazy because her other half was missing. Would he be able to forgive her for having sex with Chase? She would have to tell him. She only hoped he wouldn't want an apology, because she didn't think she could be sorry for the night she'd spent with Chase. She would need to get over what Lucas had done with that girl from the party, but she wouldn't worry about that yet. She would find him and bury herself in his familiar and comfortable arms. The whole world had gone off its axis, and she couldn't find her balance, no matter how hard she tried.
The school came into view, and Dani thought about all the days she'd spent roaming those halls. From the very first days, Lucas had been by her side. Hand in hand they trudged through two years of college, growing and learning together. Would anyone ever know her the way he did? Would anyone ever want to again? Would Lucas be able to get past this thing she had become and still love her? Of course, in the back of her tormented mind, Dani wondered what he would taste like. Way to ruin it, idiot. Damn black-eyed freak.
Trying to shake off that line of thought, she reached the back of the school. Behind the school sports fields was a line of trees. On the other side of those trees was their field. It was far enough away from all the street and house lights, and that made it a great place for stargazing. They'd spent innumerable nights out there, lying in the bed of his truck, looking up at the night sky, talking, and making out. She broke through the line of trees and, sure enough, Lucas's truck was parked on the far side of the field in the spot where they had always parked. She couldn't wait to crawl up in the bed of the truck with him. She missed him so much. They could get through this together. Dani ran across the field, unable to hold herself back any longer. She needed to be loved and forget all the craziness.
As she got closer to the truck, a strange scent hit her like a ton of bricks. It was like cheap perfume and beer mixed with … with sex. She couldn't go any farther. She stopped and listened to the sounds of a girl moaning and asking for more.
"Lucas," she breathed, "that's it, baby, right there." A female voice moaned her pleasure to him.
She could finally see what she'd missed in her rush to reach him. The truck was rocking.
"You like that, huh? I know you do," Lucas said in a deep raspy voice. He panted with his exertion. "I told you I had what you needed, girl."
Oh God. She had to leave. She couldn't hear it; couldn't know it. Why? Why would he tell her no time after time and do it so easily with a stranger?
She couldn't get her legs to move, as the truck began to rock faster. They both panted and made sounds of sickening pleasure. The few times Lucas made love to her he was always silent, never speaking or moaning. Finally her legs did move, but in the wrong direction. She walked toward the back of the truck while her brain screamed at her to run, leave. She didn't want to see it, couldn't see it.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she knew her eyes were black, because her sharp vision picked up every hair on his bobbing head when she rounded the truck bed. Night vision had turned into a curse. Her Lucas was on their field having sex with another girl. "I love you, Lucas," the girl said in a heated whisper.
"Yeah, I bet you do," Lucas replied with dirty innuendo.
Oh God. Hearing him use that tone with another girl made her sick. Seeing this was destroying any chance of her ever loving him. Her insides twisted with the pain of it. He was giving this girl what Dani had begged him for so many times. He must love her in a way he couldn't love Dani. She hadn't been good enough for that kind of passion. Dani actually heard the fissure in her heart when it cracked. The piece of her that belonged to Lucas shattered and divorced itself from the rest of her. It turned to dust and blew away in the wind with the smell of their lust and the sound of their climax. There was nothing in the human life she'd lived for twenty-one years to keep her here.
The stunned silence she found herself in was almost unbearable. She didn't know how long she had stood there before he saw her, but he had seen her. She must have looked like some sick, perverted stalker, standing there staring at the bed of his truck.
Lucas leapt from the tailgate, frantic and confused. The girl screeched something at Lucas that Dani couldn't understand over the blood now pounding in her ears. Lucas grabbed Dani's shoulders and started to shake her. Maybe she was in shock. After what had felt like the vacuum of space, all the sound and sadness flooded back into her at once. She looked up at Lucas. He was disheveled and beautiful, and he reeked of sex and beer.
"Baby, Dani, are you okay? Please, talk to me. I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around her. "How long have you been here? I'm so sorry. I didn't think you would ever speak to me again." He held her tight with her feet dangling and his face buried in the crook of her neck. "Please talk to me."
She regained some control of her body and pushed at him until he released her. The pissed-off girl in the back of his truck began to get dressed and yelled about how it was the last time he would ever get her out in that field. Between her comment and his obvious ease with her, Dani could tell it wasn't the first time.
Dani started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm, spinning her around. He could see her eyes in the bright moonlight. "Dani, what happened to your eyes?" He didn't run like she thought he would. He grabbed her again, hugging her tighter, but she pushed him away again.
More calmly than she thought possible, she said, "You should go take care of your girlfriend. I'm going home. Good-bye, Lucas." And they both knew that was good-bye forever. Dani backed away from him, taking one last look at his sandy hair and blue-gray eyes. He had been her savior, once upon a time, but he couldn't save her anymore. No one could.
"Please, I know you're upset, but we can talk about this. You broke up with me. I thought you didn't want me anymore. I was lonely and hurting," he tried to explain. The girl screamed at him from across the field to take her home.
"I don't blame you, Lucas. I understand now that I wasn't what you wanted, what you needed. What an ass I made of myself, begging for your affection. I begged you, Lucas." She shook her head in self-disgust.
"Are you crazy? She is nothing, nobody. Please let me make this better. It wasn't that I didn't want you," he sputtered.
"So what you're telling me is you gave away my love for nothing, to nobody? Just like when you came to see me at school. You hurt me to impress a bunch of guys you didn't even know and broke my trust with a stranger. I'm very sorry to know I was worth so little."
"You scared me, okay?" he shouted. "I know that sounds ridiculous, but something about you would always scare the shit out of me when we got close like that. I … I don't even remember most of the nights we spent together! I wanted you so badly but it was like I had no control of my own body and that is frightening. You make me completely lose myself. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. All of our intimate moments are foggy for me."