UnBreak This Heart(10)

I’m gonna be a dad. Shit. I know I told Hilary I was happy about this, but I’m far from it. The look on her face, the joy... Fuck! I have to get over my issues about this quick. I hated seeing the pain in her face when I said I didn’t want a kid with the way my life is.

Pres has us in fuckin’ Red Deer doing a gun trade with the fuckin’ Untamed Angels. I don’t want be here. Fuckin’ Hangman, the Pres of this club, is as psycho as they fuckin’ come. Motherfucker makes Victor seem like the damn Easter Bunny.

We’re sitting around the meeting table in the Untamed Angels’ club when my burner phone rings. It rings over and over again, and Victor finally snaps. “Fuckin’ answer it.”

“Sorry Pres.” I take it out and see a number I don’t know. “Reaper,” I answer.

“Fuck, man, it’s Vinny. I’m up at the hospital. Hilary… Shit man, she lost the baby!” he tells me.

“What?” I feel sick.

“Man, you need to find a way to get home. She needs you, man.” Vinny hangs up before I can ask anything or say anything more.

“Everything okay?” Victor asks, looking concerned, which is fuckin’ new. I never knew the old bastard had it in him.

I shake my head. “Fuck, anyway can I get outta this? Hilary’s in the hospital,” I tell him.

“Sorry, Reaper, I need you tonight, but you can leave early. Just do this job tonight, and you can head out,” he says, not looking sorry one bit. Greedy bastard.

“She’s losing the baby, brother. I need to be with her.” It shouldn’t be this hard to choose between my club and my wife, but I know that if I walk out of here now, Vic will end me. I can’t be looking over my shoulder and put Hilary in more danger than she’s already in by being my wife.

“Didn’t even know she was expecting. Be grateful this happened, boy.” His words pierce through me. Fuck, I didn’t even want this kid, and now I’m feeling fuckin’ guilty that this is happening to my wife. “I’ll let you make a quick phone call, but make it fast,” he tells me, nodding to the door for me to step outside.

Dialing Vinny’s number after trying Hilary’s, he answers. “Man, you coming?” he asks, sounding pissed.

“Can’t. Vic said I can leave early, but not right now,” I tell him. “Why isn’t Hilary picking up her phone?”

“She left it in Bryce’s car. She’s freaking out, man. She lost the baby. Doctor had to sedate her because she was freaking out so bad and her blood pressure was sky rocketing,” he tells me, but I tuned him out after he said her phone was in Bryce’s car.

“Why the fuck was she with Bryce?” I ask, pissed.

“Calm down, man. She was at the gym, and he was there too. He’s the one that got her here.” Hearing that calms me down a bit, but it still pisses me off that my wife was with another man.

“Let her know I’m sorry, man, okay? I’ll be home tomorrow.” I hang up, not trusting anything else to come out of my mouth.

She was with Bryce. It’s not the first fuckin’ time I’ve thought she was cheating on me. I’ll kill that meathead.

“Here.” Vic shoves a straw up my nose, and I look at him, unsure. Now doesn’t seem like a good time to be getting’ fucked up on powder. “Need your head clear of that pussy shit,” he barks, growing irritated.

I bend down and look at him once more, hesitating. I hope this shit is pure and not laced with some bullshit. I don’t trust Hangman’s crew.

“Either you’re with me or against me. What’s it gonna be, boy?” Vic grits in my ear, getting pissed. I decide I had better not push my luck with him any further tonight. I snort my line, feeling the burn until it numbs my throat. All the shit does is make my mind race faster and piss me off even further that I can’t be with Hilary. I should be comforting her right now.





A week has passed since I lost my child. Mason didn’t say anything to me about it when he came home two days ago, just acted like it never happened. When I tried to bring it up, he would change the subject. Today, I’m going to seek out Bryce to talk to him; he’s been here for me when Mason hasn’t.

Mason left this morning, without even a kiss good morning or goodbye. His face is in a permanent scowl lately. Losing this baby is pushing me further and further away from him. Can’t he see that he’s hurting me when I need him most? I suppose I take the vows we made more seriously than he ever has. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by marrying him. I should have waited until I was finished with school; maybe then I would have realized we were wrong for each other. How can I be with a man who can’t even kiss me or tell me he loves me when we’ve just lost a child?