After a few seconds, she became aware Alekzander wasn’t answering her. His attention slowly went from her hand on his arm to her face, and then back again. The softness that came over his expression and the blaze of approval in his eyes had her withdrawing. She came to her senses with a snap. What was she doing standing here reminiscing as though they were long lost friends who just happened to meet up by accident? He was telling her about his dangerous, criminal friends and their no doubt equally criminal girlfriends—
That wasn’t fair. She was no criminal, and she was this man’s girlfriend for nearly a year.
Okay. So the girls were innocent pawns, just as she was. One of them was having a son. She’d had a daughter. Alekzander’s daughter.
Tell him, a quiet voice in the back of her mind implored.
She couldn’t.
He has a right to know his child.
Then he would take Lekzi and Sacha would be left alone again. Her little family gone. She would have no one.
She reached in and covered the baby as much as she could without impeding her air intake, then she forced herself to remember how it had felt to see Alekzander with that woman. She remembered how she felt going down in the elevator, how she’d barely been able to breathe, and walking, shamed and humiliated, past the security guards in the lobby of the building because they’d known what she’d just walked in on.
Her heart cemented in her chest.
“Nika is a special woman who’s been through a horrible time.” Alekzander’s tone made it clear he’d noted the change in her. “She and Vincente are healing each other.”
“I am truly happy for him. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go.”
“Not yet.” He looked around. “Give me ten more minutes.”
Her eyes widened. “No. We have spoken, as you wished. That is enough.”
“We haven’t spoken about anything important. We need privacy to do that.”
“I am sorry, but, no.”
“Why?” It was his turn to ask.
“Because I do not want you in my home,” she said bluntly. And then felt bad for it. Especially when he accepted the rudeness as though he was deserving of it. Which he was. Sort of. Was anyone truly deserving of someone else’s contempt? They all made mistakes. They all hurt each other, some deliberately, some not.
Ugh. What was she thinking?
Look at what you’re doing to him. What you’re keeping from him.
“That’s understandable,” he murmured, looking around again. He seemed to be thinking hard.
Guilt wrapped her in its sticky web. This wasn’t right. What she was doing… She glanced down and saw Alekzander’s eyes staring up at her from the stroller. Oh, God. Her throat closed up. His baby.
Having him right in front of her was making it impossible for her to disregard what she’d stolen from him. Months of his child’s life. All because she was bitter and more malicious than she ever would have dreamed she could be.
Because of his actions! her pride snarled in her defense. He did this. Did he felt guilty fucking that woman in front of you? He didn’t even push her away or call out for you to wait so he could offer an explanation. No. He just continued fucking her.
She felt ill at the reminder.
Her cell chimed in her pocket and, giving her throbbing head a break, she withdrew it to see Justin’s number. She wanted to force a smile, make it wider than it would have been had Alekzander not been watching her, but she just couldn’t.
“Excuse me,” she said, and then forced herself to add, “I do not want to miss this.” Engaging the call, she put the phone to her ear and turned away a little but made sure to speak loudly enough that he would hear.
“Hello?”
“Good morning. Tell me I’m not interrupting your walk with the little people.”
“I am outside,” she admitted, grateful for Justin’s friendly, uncomplicated tone. “But you are not interrupting,” she clipped on as she held back tears.
“Excellent. I was calling to tell you I’m picking you up a little earlier tonight than we agreed on. I already spoke to Angela, and she said it’s no problem. Steve is working late so she’ll be on her own anyway and was glad for something to occupy the time. Will six-thirty be okay?”
It took her a moment to understand what he was talking about. The dinner. The one she’d agreed to attend with him when he’d asked a couple of weeks ago. “Er, yes. That will be fine.”
“You forgot. Not surprised. I had planned to remind you last night but with all the give-me-back-my-woman drama it slipped my mind.”
“Justin,” she chastised in disapproval. That’s when she saw Alekzander’s body stiffen.